It's Not Always Easy
by Blondie0306
Summary: Follow up to 'It's Always Been You'... Jay and Olivia are back, and there's still one question that hasn't been answered. Is it all going to be smooth sailing or are they gonna be caught behind a rock and a hard place. Jay may have realized that it's always going to be her, but life is not always as easy
1. Gotta practice somehow

**A/N: yay im finally back! i'm really excited for the next part of the Jay and Olivia series and i really hope you guys are too. i was so blown away with the reviews, followers, favorites, and reads 'It's Always Been You' has gotten, that i knew i needed to continue Jay and Olivia's story. i hope you guys enjoy this too**

* * *

Jay sat at his desk, head in his hands, dead tired. He always knew this job was hard, and took it's toll, but it wasn't until he was only getting 2-4, maybe 5 hours of sleep if he was lucky, he saw how hard it all really was. Most nights he found the house too quite and couldn't sleep. Other nights, he just couldn't get his mind to shut down. And then there were days like today, where he couldn't focus or just didn't have the energy to keep his eyes open.

"Halstead, my office."

Jay's head snapped up, and he took a second before he walked into Voight's office, prepared for the scolding he was rightfully about to receive.

"Yeah Sarge?" He asked, closing the door behind him.

"You look like shit."

"Honestly, I feel like it too."

Jay sat down and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Why don't you take some time off. Get yourself together."

Jay shook his head.

"Nah, I'd rather be here. I'm too restless at home."

"Well you can't keep coming to work, running on empty. Puts everyone at risk."

"Took that guy out today, just fine."

"This is your first and only warning."

"Loud and clear Sarge."

"Finish up your paperwork and go home, and I mean go home."

Jay headed back to his desk and did as he was told. He checked his phone, no messages or missed calls. Maybe he shouldn't be a work, maybe he should take some time off. Jay grabbed his things, said goodnight and headed out to his truck. On the way out, he heard Hailey calling after him.

"Jay, wait up!"

"What's up?"

"You doing okay?"

Jay sighed. He was so sick of hearing this question.

"Doing the best that I can."

"Where you headed to?"

"Home."

"You sure about that?" She questioned.

"Got nowhere else to be."

"You and I both know that's a lie."

"Look Hailey, I get you're trying to look out for me, but I'm fine."

"I've heard that before too."

Jay shot her a look.

"That was a long time ago."

"Doesn't mean anything. You're my partner, I'm supposed to always have your back."

"And you do, and I'll always have yours, but I'm good. Hella tired, but I'm good."

Hailey patted his shoulder and walked away.

* * *

Jay came home to an empty house yet again. He tossed his keys on the counter and went to the fridge to look for something to eat for dinner. A fully stocked fridge, and nothing appealed to him. Jay sighed and glanced at the clock. 11:47 pm, and still no word from her.

**To Livi, from Jay:**

**Please come home, I miss you**

After a few minutes, he got a response.

**To Jay, From Olivia:**

**I can't, you know that. I'm sorry.**

Jay thought for a second and then grabbed his keys, locked up and left. Forty five minutes later, Jay was carrying most of the food he bought from one of the local pizza places that was open late, and banged on the locked glass door with his foot. Olivia turned around, shocked to see him, and quickly let him in.

"What're you doing here?" She asked.

Jay put down whatever he was carrying.

"Figured you probably didn't eat yet either, so I thought I'd bring enough for everyone. There's more in the truck."

"You didn't have to do that."

"But thank God you did." Diana said, coming up and hugging him hello.

"How can I help?" He asked.

"You don't need to, the girls and I got it."

"Livi-"

"You were here all last night after your shift. You worked a long one today and you have to be in early tomorrow, you need rest."

"So do you."

"Maybe, but I'm not working nearly as much as you are. Not until this place is up and running."

"Got a lot done since I left." He said, looking around.

"That's because I didn't have someone here to distract me."

"Oh, so I'm a distraction now, huh?"

"Mhm, but a very very good one."

Olivia turned to all the girls.

"You guys can head out if you want. Jay and I will finish and clean up for the night."

Everyone said their goodnights and goodbyes, and it was just Jay and Olivia left.

"I could call out tomorrow so I can help more."

"You don't need to."

"I want to."

"No, you're gonna go home, get some much needed rest, and then catch bad guys tomorrow. That's an order Detective."

"Bossy Olivia is hot." He said, pulling her close.

"Gotta practice somehow." She laughed.

Olivia sat on one of the stools and Jay sat next to her.

"You're nervous." He stated.

Olivia nodded.

"Don't be, you're gonna do great."

"Come on, let's get you some sleep, you look beat. I'm driving."

"Alright, come on." He said taking her hand.

* * *

Jay was laying in bed, fighting to keep his eyes open when Olivia came into the bedroom. It made her feel bad. Jay had been going above and beyond to help her get the new salon ready ahead of schedule. She climbed into bed and brushed his hair back before she kissed his cheek.

"Sleep Jay, you need it."

"I wanna spend time with you." He mumbled with his eyes closed.

"I'm right here."

Jay pulled her closer and settled down into the bed. Olivia laid her head on his chest and wrapped an arm around him. His breathing slowed and became soothingly rhythmic and he knew he was out cold.

"I love you so much." She whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep herself.


	2. Sparkle

Olivia sat in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee, while Jay was in the shower. As she reached for her mug, the sunlight hit her ring and it seemed to sparkle more than usual. Jay had completely caught her off guard when he proposed to her. And the ring, it still blew her mind. The 8 carat pear cut stone sat within a double halo setting on an diamond encrusted band, sat perfectly on her finger. At first, she was mortified at the thought of how much he must have spent, but he set he mind at ease. The 8 carat stone had been previously set in a necklace that belonged to Jay's mother. The smaller stones on the rest of the ring had come from Hank. They were in a couple pieces of his late wife's jewelry, which he had set aside for his late son to use. Hank had passed them along to Jay, with talk of him and her being his only kids now. Jay also knew a jeweler who owed him a favor.

It was elegant and extravagant, and it held so much meaning, Olivia only hoped she could live up to the expectations of these amazing women. She didn't think she was worthy of the stones, the ring on her finger, or the promise of forever to Jay, but he convinced her that she was. He told her multiple times a day, he whispered it to her every night as she was falling asleep, even if he didn't think he heard her, she did. She moved her hand around in the light a little more and watched the diamonds shimmer and sparkle.

"God damn, look at that thing." Jay said, walking into the kitchen.

"Still seems so surreal."

"You're officially going to be a Halstead." He replied, kissing her.

She took the ring off and handed it to him.

"What-what're you doing?" He asked.

"Relax, I'm painting the shop today. I'm afraid I'll lose it or get it dirty. Put it in a safe place for me."

"Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry," She laughed and kissed him, "Have a good day, come home to me."

He kissed her again.

"Always."

* * *

"So, how's the wedding planning going?" Yvonne asked.

"It's non existent."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we've been so caught up in all this, and any spare time we have together, we aren't talking about wedding things. Besides, we've only been engaged for a few weeks, and we're in no rush."

"What about an engagement party?" Michelle asked.

"Probably just something small at Molly's."

"Have you looked at venues or picked a date."

"What is with all the questions! Can we please just get this painting done!"

"She's right, plus Joey and I didn't rush into it. Enjoy it, it goes fast anyway." Yvonne said in defense of Olivia.

The rest of her friends all exchanged looks.

"Spit it out, I know you wanna say something." Olivia said.

"You haven't really worn your ring."

"Because I"m terrified to lose it or ruin it."

"You don't talk about the wedding, or being engaged at all."

"Been a little busy lately."

"But it's your wedding, the biggest thing in your life!"

"And this," She said waving her arms around, "Is my job, my future, and my livelihood. I started all this first, and it's gotta be my first thing to focus on until it's done."

"Is Jay okay with being second to your job?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Better yet, are you okay with being second to his job?"

Olivia gently put her brush down. She knew Jay would always put his job first, but she couldn't blame him for that. He took an oath to protect and serve this city, how could she be mad at that. Suddenly, Olivia felt like a terrible girlfriend...fiancé, whatever she was, and she felt like she was putting Jay and their future together on hold. Maybe the girls did have a point.

**To Jay, from Olivia:**

**Can I have my ring back?**

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**Not really sure how to answer that, since I never really took it away lol, I just put it in a safe place**

**To Jay, from Olivia:**

**You know what I meant**

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**What changed your mind?**

**To Jay, from Olivia:**

**I feel like a bad ****fiancé**

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**Baby, you are far from it**

**To Jay, from Olivia**

**We haven't even started the wedding process**

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**Let's talk about this later, love you baby**

He was too good to her. She went back inside and continued working with the girls. By the time Jay got home from work, Olivia was already sound asleep on the couch. She had left him dinner in the microwave and a little note. He looked at the food and then back over his shoulder at her, before deciding to put the food in the fridge and save it for lunch for tomorrow. He carefully maneuvered behind her and covered them both with a blanket. He held her in his arms and rested his head on top of hers. Coming home to her was the best part of every day, even if she was sleeping. She gave him a sense of comfort and stability, something he never felt with anyone else. He slipped her ring back on her ring and drifted to sleep himself.


	3. Ice Cream

A/N: okay so can we talk about that PD finale...good lord. Jesse lee soffer is the most perfect human on this planet and they way he plays Jay is perfection. I wont say much just incase anyone hasnt seen it yet. but god damn that man is amazing. and bc I couldnt sleep thanks to the finale, I decided another chapter was due

This is another one of Olivia's flashback memories

* * *

_This was one of those times/ things, where you do or say something and then you instantly regret it. You know the kind, the " Oh Shit" or "The fuck was I thinking" moments. That's where Olivia's head was at, full on panic mode. She'd known Jay for a little while now, and for the life of her she couldn't figure out what made her invite him over, or where she got the courage to do so. They were going to be alone in her house, like alone-alone. Sure this wasn't the first time, because the first time he was shit faced drunk and she brought him back to his place and he passed out. This was different, it was her home, her safe place._

_Jay showed up with flowers and a nervous smile, and it made Olivia feel a little bit better. The energy around them seemed to change, becoming calming almost. But Olivia noticed that usually happened when he was around. He always gave her this feeling of safety and security, and she was so grateful to have that in a friend. _

_They had a nice dinner which Olivia cooked, and Jay had insisted on helping her clean up, and Olivia denied and it resulted in the two of them doing dishes together and making even more of a mess, starting with Jay spraying her with the sink hose. After the dishes, kitchen and themselves were cleaned up, they hung out, watched a movie. Olivia was dozing off when Jay stood up from the couch._

_"Can I take you somewhere?" He asked._

_"At 11 at night?"_

_"Mhm, for ice cream. It'll be the best ice cream you've ever had."_

_"It damn well better be."_

_10 minutes later Jay parked outside of an ice rink and Olivia gave him a confused look._

_"I think you'll really like this place. And in my defense, there is ice cream inside."_

_"I don't know how to skate." She confessed._

_"We'll then I guess I'll just have to teach you."_

_Olivia nervously stepped onto the ice, holding onto Jay's out stretched hands for dear life. Olivia glided along as Jay pulled her. There was music blasting, people dancing and skating around then, all having a blast._

_"Ease up on the grip a bit, Livi."_

_That was the first time he'd ever called her that, and she loved it._

_"I'll fall."_

_"You won't, I'm right here."_

_Jay moved to her left side and put her left arm through his right and interlocked his fingers with hers._

_"No,no,no don't let me go." She panicked._

_"I've got you, see. Let's go faster."_

_They continued to skate for a bit, and Olivia wobbled a couple times and took a hard fall. Jay chuckled at her and lifted her back to her feet, making sure she was okay before bursting out laughing._

_"It's not funny." She scolded._

_"It's a little funny."_

_Olivia rolled her eyes and tried to tug her arm away._

_"No, come on, don't be like that. A couple more times around the ice and then we'll go."_

_They were heading around for a final time, still arms and hands together, when someone tried to pass Olivia and clipped her right shoulder. Caught off guard by the hit, she lost her balance and fell forward, tumbling to the ice harder than before. in the process of falling, she pulled Jay down with her, and he had fallen on top of her, trying his best but failing to keep his weight off of her._

_"Are you alright? Are you hurt?"_

_"I-I don't think so."_

_Jay gently helper her up and took her home. The car ride was mostly silent and when they got back to her house, jay gently helped her out of his truck and walked her up to her door._

_"Tonight was fun." He started._

_"This wasn't a date," She blurted out, "It can't be a date." She said softly._

_"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I-"_

_"You didn't. I like what we have now. I'm kinda new to this whole friendship thing and you make it so easy and fun and I feel different with you-"_

_"You don't have to explain Livi."_

_"I don't want to seem like I'm leading you on or want you to be mad."_

_"Never in a millions years."_

_Olivia kissed his cheek and hugged him._

_"Goodnight Jay, thank you."_

_"Goodnight Livi."_

_Jay began walking back to his car when Olivia called his name._

_"Hey Jay?"_

_"Yeah?" He asked, turning around._

_"You better be on time for your haircut tomorrow." She smiled._

_"Wouldn't miss it for the world, beautiful."_


	4. Memorial Day

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you guys are like the story so far. Happy Memorial Day!

* * *

When Olivia woke up she was sweating bullets as if she had been laying out in the sun on a tropical island. She went to get up and her movement was stop by two arms around her waist tightening around her. Now it all make sense as to why she felt like she was a million degrees. She settled back down for a few minutes and then gently slid out of his grip. The sun was just starting to rise as she poured herself a cup of coffee. On her way back to the living room, a picture on the mantle had caught her attention and she walked over to pick it up.

It was of her and Jay. They were standing at the end of a beer pong table, arms around each other and the biggest, cheesiest smiles on their faces. She sadly stared blankly at the photo for a few minutes before the memory came rushing back to her. They were at Adam's for a Memorial Day BBQ, and they were wasted, but they were winning every game of beer pong played. Jay chalked it up to his "amazing sniper skills" and Olivia just said it was luck. Adam and Kevin had come close to beating them, like it was one cup close. But Jay sunk the last cup after Adam missed his last cup and it was game over. Kim had snapped the cute shot of the two of them, and more from that day.

_"How is it possible that the two of you are unbeatable!" Adam gawked._

_"Just lucky I guess." Olivia shrugged._

_Jay put his arm around her._

_"Let's get something to eat."_

_They each made a plate and sat down together. They all sat around, eating, drinking, telling stories. Olivia reveled in how carefree and happy Jay seemed to be. He had been a bit tense when she showed up at his apartment that morning, and she thought maybe he had felt uncomfortable bringing her along to his friends house. He assured her it had nothing to do with that and that he was glad she was coming along with him. During dinner Jay's friends told stories about cases they work, nights out at Molly's, embarrassing stories about Jay, and Olivia listened and laughed along. The moon and stars had taken over the sky from the sun and the guys headed out front to set off fireworks and Jay stayed behind with Olivia._

_"You can go out front with them you know."_

_"I know but I'd rather stay back here with you."_

_The first explosion lit up the sky and Jay tensed._

_"Are you okay?" She asked._

_"Yeah, I just...the fireworks remind me of being over seas. It takes me a couple minutes to remember I'm here and not there."_

_Olivia climbed onto the lounge chair he was laying on and put his arm around her shoulders and put situated herself so she could see the fireworks and be able to look up at Jay. _

_"What-What're you doing?"_

_They'd always been comfortable with each other. They always seemed to have an arm around one another or touching each other somehow, but they'd never laid together like this._

_"Just relax, remember where you are. Here, home, with me, and your friends."_

_"They're our friends." He corrected._

_"Concentrate on that."_

_How could he possibly concentrate on anything other that the beautiful girl laying with him. They stayed like that and watched fireworks as Jay played with her hair. They stayed at Adam's till late and Jay offered to take her home or to his place. When they got back to Jay's, she laid down in bed with him._

_"I'm grateful for you, and that you made it home from the war."_

_Jay silently nodded._

_"I mean it Jay, whatever is going on in your head, you need to stop it."_

_"You don't know what-"_

_"I know exactly what you're thinking. You're wondering why you got to live and some of your friends didn't. You were meant to come home, to be here in this exact moment."_

_Olivia cuddled up to his side._

_"How did I get so lucky to have you as a friend?" He quietly asked._

_"I could ask the same thing. You were meant to I guess."_

Jay's arm around her waist broke her train of thought.

"Good morning handsome."

"Come lay back down." He mumbled into her neck.

"I'm reminiscing."

"About what?"

"Memorial Day, a few years back. I never could really remember this picture till this morning. Do fireworks still bother you?"

"Not as much, but that's because I usually am always with you, so I couldn't really tell you."

"Me? What do I have to do with it?"

"That night at Adam's BBQ, you helped me and I don't know, now I just focus on you, our future, all the good thing in my life. Sure, I have my dark moments, but everyday since then, I wake up so grateful knowing i have you."

"Hmm, too bad you have to get ready for work. That could've just scored you some seriously hot morning sex."

"Oh I have plenty of time."

Jay scooped her up and brought her over to the couch and sat her on top of him. She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"I am one lucky girl, do you know that?" She asked.

"Why's that?"

"Because I can't imagine a life here in Chicago, that doesn't involve you. You've given me so much to be thankful for and I don't know, I'm just really happy we ended up how we did."

"You think we would've ended up here if everything never happened."

Olivia knew what he meant.

"Honestly, I think we would have eventually gotten to this point. It amazes me how I never saw it before, how we seem to be meant for each other. After everything that happened with Steven when I lived in New York, I was so scared to trust someone the way I trust you. And you came into my life at the right moment and you just, I don't know did that Jay Halstead thing you do."

"Jay Halstead thing?" He questioned.

"Mhm, tell me more stories about what we were like."

"I thought we were going to have hot morning sex?"

Olivia leaned close to his ear.

"We can have hot sex all over this fucking house."


	5. Venues and Range

**A/N: So how are you guys liking the story so far? Figured i'd add a little spice to this chapter lol, I really hope you guys like the story of olivia and jay, just as much as i do making them come to life**

* * *

Jay and Olivia were finishing up looking at yet another wedding venue. By this point, they were all starting to blur together and it was just getting overwhelming. This place had been the most extravagant one yet, and it was incredible. The lady who had been showing them around had just left them alone to think, talk and walk around themselves for a bit.

"This place is..." Jay trailed off.

"Yeah, I know."

The Chez in Chicago was very modern. Glass set up to everything and the pictures they looked at of wedding done here was out of this world. Olivia loved this place, but Jay had to love it too, and she knew Jay was trying to run the numbers in her head, but she had a bank account put aside that, it didn't matter what the numbers were.

"Could be the one." He said.

"You think so?"

"Why, you don't?"

"I think it's at the top of my list."

"I can see us getting married here Liv."

Olivia smiled.

"I think this place suits us well."

Olivia wrapped her arms around his middle and looked up at him.

"We just picked our wedding venue." She beamed.

He leaned down to kiss her.

"Yes, we did."

Jay and Olivia signed all the paperwork and decided they would get married in the fall of the following year. They had a little over a year and a half to plan the day of their dreams. Filled with excitement, they walked out to Jay's truck hand in hand.

"I have to head to the shooting range for work, want me to drop you off at home?"

Olivia pouted.

"Can I come with you?"

"You want to?" He asked with a little disbelief.

"Yeah, I don't really ever...actually I don't think I've ever been able to go along with you on something work related. Besides, I wanna see if you shooting a gun is as hot as I picture it to be."

At the range, Olivia sat behind Jay with her protective glasses and headphones on. Watching Jay fire off round after round effortlessly was hands down, the hottest thing she'd ever seen. The way the muscles in his arms and back rippled with each shot hand her crossing her legs to get rid of the ache in her core. Once he was done, he turned and smiled at her.

"You make it look so easy." She said.

"It is, it's just a target. There's nothing to focus on, no distractions."

Smirking, Olivia hopped of the stool and walked towards him.

"Then I guess you need a distraction." She said biting her lip and grabbing at his belt.

"Olivia." He warned.

"Try not to miss your mark Detective." She whispered in his ear.

"We could get caught."

"You better hope we don't."

"You'll have to explain to Voight."

"You would never make me do that."

Olivia dropped to her knees, undid his belt and fly. She grabbed his length and worked him by hand before taking him into her mouth. She started off slow and steady, and the worked quicker, the faster he shot. Jay's control and focus were slipping, as he glanced down at her. The sight of her, on her knees, sucking him off, knowing they could get caught at any second, was eurphoric. Jay dropped his gun on the table as she took him in all the way down to the base. The feeling of him being completely engulfed by her sent him over the edge, and he came hard, and she took every single drop. Satisfied, she zipped him up and stood with a smirk.

"You are something else." He panted out.

Olivia smiled a bit wider.

"Can you drop me off at the salon on your way back to 21?"

"Of course."

* * *

As they pulled up, the sign people were putting the new sign up for the salon up. Jay and Olivia watched them for a few minutes. The words 'Salon Blue' were written in a beautiful blue navy colored writing against a white background.

"Almost all set to open." Jay said.

"Opening night party will be here before we know it."

Jay could hear her reserve.

"You and I both know that this place is gonna do so well."

"What if it doesn't? What if I fail?"

Jay held her face.

"The RiverWalk is the perfect spot for a salon, plus you are perfect for this. Besides, you have so many people who love and support you, that it's impossible for you to fail. We won't allow it."

"My god, I love you."

"I love you too, I'll see you later."

"Be safe!" She called out to him.

"I'll see you at home."

That was the Jay Halstead thing. Making her feel like a million bucks when she needed to hear it. What a damn good man. She stepped inside the salon and looked around. She really couldn't have done this without her friends and Jay, especially Jay. He went above and beyond for her every single day. Coming here before and after work, on his days off, doing whatever he could to get this place going.

When she first left New York and moved to Chicago, Olivia really thought she'd spend the rest of her life alone, and if she was lucky, make a few friends. She never imagined that she'd ever feel safe, get married or even fall in love again. Steven had taken that from her, given her that fear that every man was like him. But Jay, Jay shattered that fear the second she'd met him and he made her believe every day that she was worth all of his love.


	6. Intense, Hot, Wild?

"Livi! Car's ten minutes out!" Jay called up to her.

"Okay!" She called back.

Jay hadn't seen her or really even spoken to her since before he had to leave for work this morning. They'd both been so busy, and trying to get ready for tonight. Tonight was the opening night party for Salon Blue at the RiverWalk. It was a friends, family and a few clients only event, and even a few people from the local media to help spread the word.

Olivia walked down the stairs and smiled at him. Jay could've sworn all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. She took his breath away everyday and every day time she looked at him, but seeing her dressed up was truly something else. She wore a black fitted high neck, long sleeve dress that hugged every curvy perfectly, and fell just above mid thigh, with her classic red bottoms on her feet. Her lips adorned her favorite shade of red and her hair was messily curled, but Jay noticed there was something different about it.

"You cut your hair?"

"I did, I didn't think you'd notice."

"Well, I am a detective."

"Mhm, a very hot one."

Olivia had cut her long chest length hair to right above her collar bone. She actually like having it at this length better. She didn't feel so drabby.

"You look...wow."

"Too much?" She asked, "I feel too glam, and for me to say that-"

"You look perfect."

Olivia took in his appearance. Dark navy suit with a light blue shirt underneath with the top button open. A light scruff on his face that she loved so much.

"God damn, if we didn't have somewhere to be." She said looking him up and down.

"I was thinking the same thing baby girl."

* * *

Olivia greeted and welcomed every person that walked through the door that night and Jay was always by her side to support her. He was so proud of her. People ate, drank, danced and mingled. Towards the end of the night, Olivia took the mic from the DJ.

"Good evening everyone, I hope you're all enjoying yourselves. First of all, I'd like to thank you all for coming out to celebrate the opening with us. It's been a very crazy and hectic couple months of getting this place open way ahead of schedule, but we did it! To our clients, thank you for putting up with all the madness, and the constant complaining, the constant worrying and the whacked out conversations.' She laughed, 'To my salon family,' She said, turning to face them with a smile, 'I'm beyond blessed to be sharing this moment and this journey with all of you crazy bitches, and I love you."

Everyone in the room gave a small chuckle.

"To everyone over at Med, 51 and 21, thank you for not only being Chicago's heroes, day in and day out, but for being there every time I called you to help and coming in clutch when I needed you. You've all welcomed me into your family so kindly, and I'm so grateful for that."

She turned to Jay and let out a breath.

"And you, where do I begin with you. You changed my life, saved my life. All this, is because of you. I am so glad to be your fiancé, and so honored to become your wife and to spend forever with you. I can not wait to become Olivia Halstead, the Mrs. Jay Halstead. You support me, love me, protect me every single day, and I love you more than words could ever describe."

Olivia composed herself and lifted her glass. Everyone cheers along side her, and her and Jay kissed. They continued to schmooze, dance, take pictures, and finally in the late hours to early morning, people left. Olivia turned off the lights, set the alarm, and locked the door. She met a smiling Jay, who was waiting for her by the car to take them home. She walked into his embrace and he kissed the top of her head.

"Let's go home."

* * *

They'd barely gotten through the door when Jay had her up against the wall. His beard, rough against her neck and collarbone as he fiercely kissed her. Her fingers laced into his hair, and in one swift movement, he lifted her up and slid into her. She dropped her head onto his shoulder at the feeling and he trust hard into her.

"Jay...condom." She panted out.

"Don't...care." He grunted between trusts.

"Jay..." She moaned out against his skin.

"So tight, so wet, fuck baby."

They hadn't had sex without protection in a long time. She couldn't lie, there was no better feeling than of jay inside of her with nothing on. She clenched and unclenched around him.

"Jay." She moaned again.

"Not yet, Livi."

"Jay please." She begged.

"I said, not yet Olivia." He growled his demand.

She loved when his dominate side came out. It wasn't fifty shades dominate but it was commanding and extremely fucking hot. She wasn't sure how much longer she would last.

"I'm all yours, Mr. Halstead." She whispered, as she nipped at his earlobe.

He gripped her thighs harder and drilled into her relentlessly.

"Fuck, now baby, cum now."

Olivia exploded around him as he filled her. It took them both a minute to catch their breath.

"That was..." He started.

"Intense, hot, wild?" She finished.

"Yeah, to name a few." He smirked.

They cleaned up, changed and got into bed.

"I'll get the morning after pill tomorrow on my way to work." She said.

"What if... what if you don't." He said, softly.

She tilted her head up to look at him.

"You can't be serious?"

He shrugged.

"What happened to trying but not trying? Why bother with condoms anymore?"

Olivia sat up to face him.

"Because we agreed that with everything going on, we'd wait."

Jay looked defeated.

"Jay, baby, I love you more than anything in this world, you know that right?"

"Yeah...yeah, I know."

"Jay-"

"Goodnight Olivia."

Jay cut her off, and rolled over turning off the light on his night table. Olivia sighed and rolled over to her side of the bed. She tried falling asleep, but all she wanted to do was cry.


	7. Cute Touch

It had been a few days since the party and things between Jay and Olivia had been well, awkward. Everyone around then noticed the tension but didn't dare ask as to why. Olivia wanted nothing more than to start a family with Jay, but she just didn't have it in her heart to dedicate herself to that right now. She was sitting on the couch fighting back tears when Jay walked in the door after work.

"I didn't take the pill." She blurted out as he walked passed her.

Jay gave her a blank look.

"Okay." He responded flatly.

Jay continued to walk into the kitchen and Olivia followed closely behind him.

"Would you please just talk to me!"

"I've got nothing to say to you Olivia."

He went to walk up the stairs, and she stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

"Well you better think of something!"

Jay huffed in annoyance.

"Fine, you wanna talk, let's talk! All the sudden you don't want kids?"

"I just don't think its the right time, with everything going on."

"News flash babe, there's never gonna be a perfect time."

"Don't get snarky with me! A less chaotic time would be nice."

"Have you seen our life? That's never going to happen, it's always chaos."

"I just want to wait a little bit. Till we can fully dedicate our time to our kids, and cherishing the moments along with it." She said softly.

"Yeah, well I don't. Would've been nice to know that before I proposed."

Jay walked passed her, up to their bedroom and slammed the door closed.

* * *

It has been four days since their fight. Olivia spent that night at Diana's and then checked into a hotel. She tried her best to be composed and put together at work, but everyone could see she was falling apart inside. Olivia was finishing up with a client when a flower delivery man came in.

"Hi, can I help you?" She asked.

"Here for Olivia Halstead."

She rolled her eyes.

"That's me."

The man put a large vase filled with calla lilies and roses on the front desk.

"Have a good day." He said as he left.

The flowers were absolutely beautiful. She opened the small card and sighed before putting in her back pocket. '_Livi, please come home.'_

**To Jay, from Olivia:**

**No.**

* * *

Jay stared at the text with a broken heart. He had really blown it, and he should've never said what he did, it was wrong. But he still sat in his truck, waiting for her to lock up the shop, and to make sure she got to her car safely. He'd been doing the same thing every night since the first night she didn't come home. He never followed her passed the end of the block, he would then head home. He knew, that she knew he was there, but she never once looked his way. Jay was about to pull away, when the passenger door opened.

"Flowers were pretty, card was a cute touch."

Diana got in the truck and closed the door.

"I don't know what's colder, the temps in Chicago or your fiancé's personality the last few days."

Jay glared at her.

"Oh, don't fucking look at me like that Halstead. She's hurting, and what you said was really mean."

"i know it was. And she's not the only one hurting."

"I didn't say that."

"Then what are you saying, huh? What do you want?" He snapped.

Diana sat quietly for a minute.

"She's scared Jay. She won't come out and say it, but she hints at it, and I know her well enough to see through her shit. It's too much all going on at once, she's overwhelmed."

"What does that mean?"

"She's still struggling. You have every memory you two have ever made together. She still doesn't have that yet and its the blank spots that make her feel, well,broken. The thought of bringing kids into a world where she can't remember things, scares her."

"We're working through all that."

Diana shook her head.

"Just because you're working through something doesn't mean it won't always haunt you. You should that better than anyone."

Diana got out of the truck and walked to her own car.


	8. Messed Up

Jay sat in the lobby of the hotel for a long time that night. Diana had left the address and the room number in which Olivia was staying in, on a piece of paper in his truck. He was honestly terrified to go and knock on her hotel room door. He wasn't afraid that she'd have someone in her room, he knew she wouldn't, that's not who she was. He was afraid she wouldn't answer the door, wouldn't talk to him. He feared the unknown of what their relationship was. Olivia was always a no nonsense type of girl, but she was a sucker to try and make everything a happy ending. That's why she pushed so hard for him to try with Erin when she left. It was after the last time she watched him completely shatter over it that she gave up, well not gave up but had finally been done herself

_*Flashback*_

_"Any word?" Olivia asked, walking through Jay's front door with food._

_"It's been months Livi, I'm done."_

_Jay was laying on the couch, looking defeated, just heartbroken. Olivia put the bags on the coffee table and sat on the couch, running her fingers through his hair._

_"I'm so sorry Jay."_

_"It's not your fault, I should've tried harder before she left, I don't know, I just should've done more."_

_Tears filled his eyes before spilling down his cheeks and it hurt Olivia to see him like that. They hadn't known each other that long, but Olivia felt this fierce protectiveness towards him. How could someone just up and leave and never say a word to someone they claimed they loved. How could you just shut someone out like that._

_"Hey," She whispered, "This is not your fault, do you hear me? Jay this is all on her. She's in the wrong, not you. You've done all you can try and contact her."_

_"I just don't understand Livi, I was ready to propose to her, with my mother's ring no less. How could I have been so stupid."_

_Olivia laid down next to him on the small couch. She cuddled up to him and wrapped his arms around him._

_"You're not stupid, she is. She doesn't know how much of a good thing she let slip through her fingers, so fuck her, and ya know what, she's not worthy of your mother's ring Jay. Your mom would not want some chick who is so quick to ditch you, to wear her ring, or to be your wife."_

_Jay held her tightly._

_"I thought she'd be my forever."_

_"She's not worth your forever. You'll find your forever someday, and when you do, you'll know and then you'll realize that Erin, was nothing."_

_Olivia drew imaginary patterns on his chest, both content with the silence around them. Jay's fingers played with her hair and Olivia fought to keep her eyes open._

_"You're making me sleepy." She yawned._

_"I'm sorry, it's late, you brought food and came all the way here, and you're probably exhausted after working that wedding today."_

_He wasn't wrong, she'd been up way past 24 hours and was in need of food and sleep after running on just caffeine. But he needed someone to be there for him and she knew that sleep wouldn't have happened knowing he was suffering alone. She needed to be here, just as much as he needed her to be._

_"I'm always going to be here when you need me, no matter what."_

_*End Flashback*_

Looking back at it all now, that's when Jay realized he had started falling for her. She just made everything better, made his world a little brighter, even when she didn't realize it. That's when their friendship had changed, when they became more comfortable with each other. He was drawn to her more than anything in the world. Jay finally manned up and headed up to her room and knocked on the door. Those couple seconds waiting for her to answer felt like a lifetime. When she pulled open the door, her eyes were puffy and red and Jay's heart sunk.

"Oh, baby." He reached out to pull her into a hug and she stepped back away from him.

"Did you follow me?" She rasped out.

"No," He shook his head, "Diana told me where you were. Can I come in?"

Olivia looked down hesitantly and bit at her lip before opening the door a bit wider for him to come in.

"Olivia this isn't us."

"Is there even an us anymore?"

She was nervously playing with her ring.

"Don't say that, of course there is."

"We want different things Jay."

"We don't, we just want them at different times, but we can work on that. Isn't that what marriage is, when we don't agree we compromise."

"I think you should go, this was a mistake."

Olivia went to take off her ring and Jay grabbed her hands to stop her.

"Don't, please don't take that off. You're meant to be my forever."

"You thought Erin was your forever too."

"Olivia, I'm begging you."

Tears flowed down her cheeks and her lip quivered.

"Do you know what it felt like when you yelled at me? It felt like Steven all over again. That haunting feeling of not being good enough, of not being perfect, of being wrong for saying what I feel, Jay and that hurts."

Jay had never felt as horrible as he did right now.

"Olivia, I swear on everything, I would never ever do to you what that scumbag did. You know me better than that."

"I can't be that girl again Jay, I just can't."

Jay held her face in his hands and he could see the mild panic in her eyes from his touch, but he wouldn't let go.

"You aren't, you're stronger and braver."

"Please let go of me."

The request was like a knife to his heart. He slowly pulled his hands away.

"I think I just need more time. Im so confused right now, and my head- it just-" She sobbed, not being able to find words.

"Olivia, please come home with me. Don't let this send us ten steps back."

"I need to be alone for a while-"

"I won't let you work through this alone. You never left me even when I pushed up away, I won't let you do it to me."

"Jay, please." She begged.

He leaned forward and kissed her tear soaked lips.

"I need you to know that I love you, I know I've messed up but you've got to know I love you."

Olivia turned her head and looked down to the floor. Jay let her go and walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. Once he got into his truck, he lost it and broke down. It killed him to see what he had sent her back into such a fragile state, knowing that he could've possibly lost her forever.


	9. The Start Of It All

**hey everyone, hope you are all liking the story so far :)**

* * *

_* Flashback*_

_"I'd really like to buy you a drink."_

_"I'm good, but thanks." She smiled_

_Olivia and her friends had gone to a bar one night after work just to enjoy the night, have a few drinks and just chill out. The girls told her it was a firefighter and cop bar, and Olivia kinda just went along just to get out. They'd been having fun for most of the night, and recently some guy just wouldn't catch the hint that Olivia wasn't interested. _

_"Would you like to dance?"_

_"Look, I'm sure you're a really nice guy, but I'm here with my friends."_

_"I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you left."_

_Olivia was looking around for a way to get out of this situation any way she could, when she spotted this tall, brown haired, blue eyed guy walking almost in the direction she was in, holding two beers in his hands. As he was about to walk passed her, Olivia faked some __enthusiasm, and took one of the beers from the guy, and ducked under his arm, so it was around her shoulders._

_"What're you doing here! I told you it was girls night, couldn't stay away could you?" She chuckled, leaning up to kiss his cheek._

_The mystery guy could see in her eyes, that she hadn't mistaken him for someone else, she just needed help._

_"Um, maybe."_

_"Well, now you can drive us all home later."_

_Olivia flipped her hair over her shoulder in order to see if the guy who had been bothering her before was still there. Much to her content, he was gone. Horrified, Olivia quickly pulled away._

_"I am so sorry. That guy just wouldn't leave me alone and I saw you walking towards me and I just went with it."_

_"Nah, it's all good. He didn't look to thrilled when you pulled me over." He laughed._

_"Can't imagine he would be, he's been very persistent."_

_The guy put his beer on the bar, and touched her arm gently._

_"Did he hurt you in any way?"_

_"Oh no, he didn't. Just annoying." She smiled at him "Let me buy you another beer, I feel bad for stealing yours."_

_"It's all good, trust me."_

_"You were obviously buying one for someone else," A horrified look took over her face, "Oh my gosh, was that supposed to be for your girlfriend! I'm so sorry,I wasn't thinking I-"_

_"Ah, no __girlfriend. Just buying a beer for a work buddy."_

_Relief washed over her features._

_"I'm Olivia."She smiled._

_"Jay." He said sticking out his hand._

_She shook his hand and then Jay pulled out a bar stool, and ushered her to sit._

_"So Olivia, what brings you to Molly's?"_

_"I'm here with some friends from work, what about you?"_

_"I met some friends from work here too. Rough shift, we all needed a drink or seven of them."_

_She gave a small laugh at his joke._

_"Firefighter, doctor or cop?" She asked._

_"Cop, a detective actually, in a specialized unit."_

_"What kind of unit?"_

_"Intelligence."_

_"You must be super smart then." She joked._

_"That was corny." He laughed._

_"It really was." She cackled out._

_"What about you, what do you do Olivia?"_

_"I'm a hairstylist and make up artist."_

_They sat at the bar for a while talking and laughing. Jay had bought her another beer, even though she had wanted to pay. He was friends with all the bartenders and they put it on Jay's tab, like he had asked, even instructing them that whatever she ordered the rest of the night went on his tab._

_"Would you like to meet some of my friends?" He asked, shyly._

_"Sure."_

_Jay helped her off the stool and put his arm back around her as he escorted her to the table of his friends. She met all his co workers from the unit, and a few from firehouse 51. Eventually, Olivia's friends stumbled over and everyone was making conversation and getting along. Olivia never left Jay's side and he was always close enough to have an arm around her waist or shoulders. It was late by the time everyone decided to head home, and Jay walked Olivia out to where her friends and an uber were waiting._

_"Can I drive you home?" He blurted out._

_"Oh, um, I wasn't trying to lead you on but-"_

_"No, no, you weren't. I'd just feel better knowing I dropped you off at home."_

_Jay could she the fear and panic in her eyes, and one of her friends nonchalantly nudged her forward into Jay._

_"It's okay if you want to go with your friends and not a stranger, trust me, I get it."_

_"um, no, I'd like you to drive me, if that's okay."_

_When they pulled up outside her house, Jay turned off his truck and they sat for a bit._

_"Thanks again for saving me tonight...and for the drinks."_

_"My pleasure."_

_Olivia went to get out of the truck, when Jay stopped her._

_"Um, can I have your number, in case I ever need a haircut."_

_Olivia could see he found what he said stupid the moment he said it._

_"Only if I can have your number, in case I ever need to call the police."_

_They swapped phones and Olivia put her number in with her name and the scissor emoji and Jay put his number in her phone. When he handed it back to he, she added the cop emoji to his name and showed him with a smile._

_"Goodnight Jay." She smiled._

_"Goodnight Olivia."_

_*End Flashback*_

Olivia jumped up from the bed in the middle of the night, looking around and confused. It took a couple of seconds for her to realize she wasn't home, or in bed with Jay. Sighing, she reached over to the night table and grabbed her phone. She sat staring at the picture of her and Jay for a while, until she fell asleep again, still as heartbroken and confused as before


	10. I'm Not Your Wife

She was working in her office when Jay showed up. He nervously knocked on the closed door and waited for her to answer.

"It's open." She called.

Jay pushed open the door and walked in. She looked like she was caught off guard and just looked at him with her mouth open slightly.

"Um, hi." She said.

"Hey' he paused, 'I brought you some mid day coffee."

He walked forward slowly and handed her the cup.

"Venti cold brew, black, two pumps of caramel, and extra ice." He continued.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

Jay looked around sheepishly.

"Figured one of the girls would've told you I was coming back."

"I left my phone on my station. I don't like being distracted when I'm doing paperwork."

Jay nodded and took a sip of his own coffee. Olivia let out a deep sigh and shook her head.

"What're you doing here Jay?"

"I came to talk to my wife."

"I'm not your wife."

"Not yet." He shot back.

"Jay, I don't have time for this." She said, standing and walking to the door to show him to leave.

"Why won't you talk to me!" He exclaimed.

"This is not the time or the place." She whisper yelled.

"Oh really, then when! You don't answer my calls or texts, you don't come home. It's been almost two weeks for christ sake!"

"We're in different places Jay, we want different things. Maybe we should-"

"Just talk about it now? Great idea." He interrupted.

"Fine,' she huffed, 'Say what you have to say, so I can get back to work."

Jay smiled in triumph.

"Okay, so, what changed your mind about having kids?"

"It's not that I don't want them, I just want to wait until the dust settles a little bit. No wedding stress, no new business stress. I want to be able to focus and enjoy pregnancy and expanding our family."

"Makes sense." He agreed.

"Why are you in such a rush?" She asked.

"I can't wait to be a dad.' He smiled, 'And to do that with you, I don't know, I guess I maybe jumped the gun."

"Maybe?" She smirked,

Jay picked up her left hand and smiled.

"You know, I'm due for a haircut."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Go have one of the girls do it, I have to finish all this."

"I don't want them to do it." He said, nuzzing his face in her neck.

"I'll do it at home."

Jay's head perked up.

"Shirtless?" He asked with a wicked grin.

She shoved his shoulder.

"Ew, no, I don't need hair splinters in my boobs."

"I would happily do a full body inspection for you."

Olivia chuckled and shook her head.

"I really have to finish all this. Go, I'll see you later."

"You're really coming home?"

"Yes, now go."

"Or,' he said, grabbing her hips, 'We could move everything off this desk and christen this place."

His voice was deep and raspy and sexy. Olivia looked up at him through her lashes and flattened her palms against his chest.

"Not gonna happen Halstead." She whispered in his ear.

"Livi..." Jay groaned.

Olivia laughed.

"Go home Detective.

* * *

When Olivia finally walked through the front door at 8:30 at night, there was music playing throughout the house.

"Jay?" She called out.

"In here babe!"

Jay was in the kitchen making dinner. He was shirtless, with a pair of dark gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and laid the side of her face against his back.

"What's all this?" She questioned.

"A welcome home dinner."

"Jay' she sighed, 'You didn't have to do this."

"I did, I was an asshole."

"No, you weren't. You were just frustrated with me."

"Doesn't make it right. I didn't take your feelings into consideration."

"Well I guess that makes me an asshole too then, because I didn't think about your feelings either."

Jay turned and wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you, more than anything in this world, I need you to know that." He confided.

"And I love you so much."

"Come on, let's eat before it gets cold."

Olivia peered around him.

"So what did you make, Chef Halstead?"

"Well, it just so happens that your incredibly gorgeous, smart, and talented husband, has made a pasta in an alla vodka sauce with chucks of fresh mozzarella and fresh spinach." He boasted.

Olivia gave him a doubtful look.

"You made all that, fresh, you didn't buy it?" She questioned.

"Nope."

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I got the vodka sauce from the pizzeria down the block, but I did boil the pasta, and add the spinach and cheese myself."

Olivia let out a hearty laugh.

"I'm impressed! I'm glad to see my Italian side is rubbing off on you."

"Speaking of rubbing..." He suggested.

"Ha, maybe if dinner's good."


	11. Stallion

**A/N: i am so sorry for the lack of updates, its been a crazy couple of weeks, but hopefully things will be back on track now. i greatly appreciate all the views and reviews this story is getting!**

* * *

Olivia woke and stretched out her arms to find herself alone in bed. She had truly missed her, well their, bed. She lifted her head from the pillow and didn't hear the shower running, a clear indication that Jay wasn't in there. She let out s deep breath before standing, putting on her blue robe and walking out of the bedroom. The house was quiet, and as hard as she tried to hear something, there was nothing to hear. As she started walking down the stairs, the aroma of coffee filled her nose. Either Jay was up and he turned the pot on, or the timer on it had go on to brew it. Her favorite mug had been placed out on the counter along with the french vanilla creamer. Olivia made a cup of coffee, leaned against the counter and raised an eyebrow. Where the hell is he.

A little while later, the front door opened and there was a commotion of voices. Jay, along with Will, Natalie, Owen, Kim and Adam were walking into the kitchen, all holding various bags of things. Olivia looked at them with wide eyed shock and they all awkwardly avoided eye contact with her, except for Jay. She placed her mug down and headed towards the stairs.

"I'm gonna go get dressed." She tried to play off as cool as possible.

Olivia darted up the stairs and after a couple seconds Jay run up after her. Jay walked into the bedroom and she was putting on her leggings and then her bra.

"What the fuck Jay!"

"Sorry, you were sleeping?!"

"What is everyone doing here?" She whisper yelled.

Jay shrugged his shoulders in a way to not admit his plan.

"Jay?" She questioned again, putting on her sweatshirt.

"I was just trying to make your first morning back home, special."

"Aww baby,' She gave him a small chuckle and a smile, 'Jay, the idea was adorable. It would've been nice to know, that way I would've had some decent clothes on."

Jay's eyes glazed over with lust.

"That blue robe gets me every time."

Olivia leaned up to kiss him.

"It never takes much to get you going."

"Cause I'm a fucking stallion, baby." Jay smirked.

"Okay Adonis,' She joked, patting his chest, 'Let's go, since you brought company with you."

* * *

Jay had come home for lunch on Monday afternoon to find Olivia sitting at the table, with papers everywhere.

"What's all this?"

Olivia's head snapped up and she looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

"What're you doing home?"

Her voice was soft and fragile.

"Livi, what's going on?"

"I was just looking for something."

"Okay, what were you looking for? Can I help you?"

"No you can't."

"Maybe I can, what was it?"

"No you can't! It's bad luck if you see it!"

Jay knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands.

"Are you looking for a picture of your dress?"

Olivia nodded sadly.

"I've always had this dream dress, and I know I had a picture and the name of the designer somewhere and now I can find it!"

"I'm sure it'll turn up, maybe you can try looking online for it."

"I tried and nothing, I got nothing! I've wanted this dress my whole life and now it's gone. Just like all my fucking memories, it's gone."

Olivia stood and threw all her papers off the table in frustration, before she started crying. Jay pulled her into a hug and did his best to comfort her.

"You're gonna look so beautiful no matter what you'll be wearing."

"You're obligated to say that."

"Not true, everything is going to be perfect that day. All that matters is the two of us."

"Yeah but, we both have this vision of what we want."

"And we'll figure it out. We've got plenty of time."

"You say that now, and before we know it that day will be here."

"And I can't wait."

"You sure you really wanna marry a hot mess like me?"

Jay kissed her temple.

"There's no other hot mess in the world I want to spend forever with."


	12. Hello Darling

Dress shopping, Olivia could officially say she absolutely hated dress shopping. The problem was, was that she was just too indecisive, she loved so many of them and then there were some where she loves parts of the dresses, but nothing she put on gave her that 'this is the one' moment, and she was beginning to think she'd never find a dress, and end up walking down the aisle in jeans. Jay knew she felt like this, especially since she made it well known this morning before she left. She was on the verge of having a panic attack while she got dressed, and Jay did everything he possibly could to reassure her that she'd find a dress.

"You need to save me, the girls are holding me hostage, against my will."

Jay had called to check in on her while he made himself a cup of coffee in the break room at work. Olivia had him on speaker while she was trying to put on another dress. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice, and to be honest she sounded like she had given up.

"Taking you dress shopping is not being held hostage or being held against your will babe."

"It is...when...they won't...let me...have...a fucking...burger." she struggled to get out.

"Babe...What're you doing?"

"Trying to put on another stupid, fucking dress...shit...fuck."

Jay heard her gasp and then a crash and a thud.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just fell over."

Jay laughed and there was silence on the other end.

"Liv?"

No answer.

"Livi?"

Nothing.

"Olivia!" He said loudly.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry, I'm here."

"Are you okay?!"

"I think...Jay, I think I found my dress."

"Well that's a good thing." He responded.

"Oh Jay, it's so beautiful."

"You look beautiful in everything."

"It's everything I've ever dreamed of."

Jay could hear the emotion in her voice.

"I can't wait to see you in it."

Olivia was silent and Jay smiled, knowing she was in her own little world.

"I gotta get back to work, I'll see you at home."

Jay was about to hang up when Olivia called out to him.

"Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, so, so much." She said.

"I love you so much more, baby."

* * *

Olivia admired herself in the dress, she couldn't believe that she had actually had found 'the one'. She smoothed her hands over the fabric and she could clearly see herself walking down the aisle towards Jay, celebrating with their family around them, all she had ever dreamed. She stared at herself in the mirror when it sunk in, her eyes filling with tears and spilling slowly down her cheeks... Her mom wasn't her to do all this with her, her brother not around to make fun of her or make jokes to lighten the mood, her cousins to stand beside her for the biggest moment of her life, her father not there to walk her down the aisle and give her away to Jay or to have a father daughter dance. Olivia sank to her knees and sobbed quietly, all alone.

When she was little and dreamed of her fairytale wedding, she saw the details she was putting into this wedding, but, her family was missing, her real family. She always pictured them being such a large part in all this and now, they weren't, they could never be. She loved the friends she made here, who, over time had become her family and she was so grateful for them. But they weren't her real family, they shared no memories from her childhood or her years growing into an adult. With all the love Chicago surrounded her with, she still was left and felt all alone.

* * *

"Okay so, dress...big check, venue...check, bridesmaids dresses...eh, semi check. What else are we missing?" Diana asked, as they left the bridal store and headed to a late lunch.

"Engagement shoot, engagement party, bridal party, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, groomsman suits...Shall I continue?" Yvonne responded.

"Please don't, it's stirring up my anxiety." Olivia groaned.

Yvonne was getting married in a few months and was probably the best in helping Olivia with all this, seeing as she had been doing all the same things. She tended to keep Olivia grounded lately, and Olivia did the same for her. They had always been close, but the last two years while Yvonne planned her wedding and now with Olivia adding hers into the mix, they seemed to have bonded much more and become even closer.

"Do I really need to have all those things? Like all those party things and shit?" Olivia asked.

"Yes." They all responded at the same time.

Olivia groaned and took a long sip of her wine.

"Well, then take bridal shower off the list. We already live together and have everything we possibly need for the house."

The girls noshed on appetizers and sipped wine.

"Where do you want to go for you bachelorette?"

Olivia shrugged.

"I don't know, but we all could use a vacation."

"Vegas is always a good option. It's always been our spot." Michelle suggested.

"That's true. I'll have to find out when and where Jay is going."

"You want to have one together?"

"No, but at some point before the wedding I think I wanna have a few days, just the two of us. No wedding talk or drama, just peacefulness, calm before the craziness."

After lunch, Olivia stopped at the coffee shop near their house and headed home to make dinner. As she prepped dinner, she tried to think of things to do for their engagement photoshoot. She had a couple of ideas in mind but she wanted special, beautiful, elegant, sexy pictures.

"Babe?" Jay called out as he walked through the front door.

"Hello darling." She said, popping her head out of the kitchen.

"Darling huh? I must be in trouble.' he walked over and kissed her, 'Dinner smells good, what's cookin?"

"Chicken Parm, garlic bread with cheese, and pasta."

"All this on a week night? Okay, what's going on?"

"Nothing!' she laughed, 'Can't a girl cook a nice meal for her man?"

"Come on, lay it on me, how bad is it?"

Olivia bit her lip and eyed him up and down.

"Are you suggesting something?"

"Oh I have suggestions, don't you worry. But I think there was something you were gonna tell me first."

She huffed and dramatically rolled her eyes.

"Fine! I'd really like to do an engagement photoshoot, and I figured we can have a small party at molly's. I know it all sounds silly, especially the pictures but it could be fun and cute-"

"Let's do it."

"Wait, really!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, a photoshoot could be a little fun."

"And you're okay with doing something small at Molly's?"

"I'd prefer it actually."

Olivia smiled.

"How would you feel about forgetting dinner for a bit and going upstairs?"

"Who says we need to go upstairs?" He responded huskily.

Jay lifted her onto the counter and attacked her lips hungrily. He nipped at her neck and collarbone as he took off her shirt. Her nails slowly dragged down his back under his shirt. Jay lifted her hips off the counter and she wiggled out of her pants. Jay grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to the edge of the counter, where he knelt down and his mouth devoured her core. Jay kept an arm around her to keep her pinned to the counter to stop her from squirming beneath him. Olivia knew she wouldn't last long with the way he worked his tongue and sucked at her.

"Jay...gooooddddddddd." She moaned out.

Jay hummed against her. The vibration had her crying out and holding his head in place as she came. Jay gave her no time to come down from her high when he surged into her wet heat, causing her to arch herself into him. He used one hand to keep her hand pinned above her head while he bit down on one of her nipples, and the other hand to lift her leg onto the counter, bending it at the knee so her foot was flat on the counter top. The new position sent him into new depths within her.

"Oh my god." She moaned against his neck.

"So deep baby."

Jay moved both of her legs over his shoulders and drilled into her relentlessly and had her cumming in seconds. The feeling of her spazzing tightly around him, had his control slipping.

"I gotta pull out."

"no."

"Olivia-"

Olivia's inner walls clenched around him and Jay lost it. The most intense orgasm of his life left him lying on top of her, panting, while still inside of her.

"This counter is getting bleached like four times later."

"I should've pulled out."

"Just cause you pull out, doesn't mean I can't get pregnant."

"We really need to be using condoms."

"But it feels so much better without them."

She lightly dragged her nails up and down his back and he got hard again.

"Fuck yeah it does."


	13. Second Favorite

Jay looked down at the sleeping beauty who was cuddled up to his side. Even in her sleep she still looked exhausted...beautiful, but exhausted. Jay knew all this planning and detailing going into every second of their engagement leading up to their wedding was stressing her the hell out. Her friends were there to help her, but it really should be Jay. By the time he got home most nights, they were both shot from a busy work day and they last thing either of them wanted to dive into was wedding things. The sudden guilt he felt for putting all the work on her, suddenly sat heavily on his chest. He brushed some hair back from her face and ran his thumb along her cheek.

"You're staring again." She sleepily mumbled.

Jay shook his head.

"How long have you been up?" He asked.

"Couple minutes." She snuggled her head deeper into his chest. "Can we just stay in bed all day?"

"I wish we could. We're in the middle of working a case that's got nothing but dead ends."

Olivia propped her head up and looked at him.

"You'll solve this, you always do."

"And how many people have to suffer before we do."

There was a slight anger in his voice. she knew it wasn't towards her, he was just upset. Olivia sat up on her knees and straddled his waist.

"Tell me about it."

He shook his head.

"You don't wanna know."

"What affects you, affects me."

"You don't want those visuals in your head, babe, trust me."

Olivia knew Jay wasn't going to give in and talk about it. He never talked about cases.

"I love you, more and more each minute of everyday. And no matter what happens at work, on those tough cases, you are the good guy, the superhero."

"Doesn't feel like that sometimes."

Olivia leaned down to kiss him.

"You'll always be my favorite superhero."

"I finally beat out Thor?" Jay smirked.

"Okay, like second favorite." Olivia jokingly laughed.

Olivia took in Jay's features and smiled.

"What?" Jay asked.

"The beard."

Jay had been growing it out, simply for the fact of that he was just lazy

"Oh uh yeah, I'll shave it off."

Olivia shook her head.

"I kinda like it."

"You do?"

"Mhmm, it's really fucking hot."

Jay flipped her over and pinned her to the bed, when his alarm on his phone went off. Jay groaned and dropped his head onto her shoulder.

"You should probably go take a shower." Olivia laughed.

"Yeah, a cold one." He responded.

* * *

Jay sat down at his desk after chasing another dead end. Ruzek and Atwater blew into the unit talking about they found this guy who was a runner for the main man in charge. Talking about how this guy could get them in, someone just had to go under cover. Naturally, Jay was one of the first to jump up.

"Sit down Halstead."

"What, why? Sarge, I'm perfect for this."

"Some other time."

"Sarge-"

"Make me repeat myself and you're gone."

Jay sat back down quietly and glanced at one of the pictures on his desk. It had been an older picture of him and Olivia. They were downtown in the city, Olivia had suckered him into going to some hair expo/ convention type thing. He tried telling her no and that he wasn't interested, but the second she shrugged off his decline and said she was going alone, Jay jumped right up and refused to let her go alone. He actually ended up having more fun than he anticipated, and that was obviously because of Olivia. She just made everything better.

"You know why I didn't let you go?"

Hank's voice startled him from his thoughts and he looked up at his boss.

"Huh?"

"Because every one of those victims up on that board, looks similar to Olivia."

Jay sighed. Hank was right. All the girls were 5'1-5'2, Blonde, hazel eyes, curvy figure. Maybe that's why this case bothered him so much. These girls were, assaulted, mutilated, violated, and left to rot. It sickened Jay that people in this world could do this and feel nothing, not a damn thing.

"Jay, you gotta realize you can't save everyone or be the hero all the time. There's other people in this unit for a reason. You can't be ruining into every situation that gets thrown at this unit like you've got nothing to lose, because you do."

"So you're telling me I can never go undercover again, because I have a wife?" Jay scoffed.

"You _will_ have a wife. And eventually kids, learn from me."

"Sarge, we gotta get this guy."

"We will."

And they did, like they always do. Jay drove by the salon on his way home and noticed the lights were still on. He pulled into the lot and put his car in park. Olivia was inside, alone. He could tell she had the music turned up by the way she was singing along and swaying around. There was something different about her, and he couldn't put his finger on it. A vibe like she had, before she lost her memory. She seemed carefree and at ease, the way she did when he first fell in love with her.


	14. CalmDown

The blood spilled from her hand like a waterfall. Truth be told she didn't even know how she did it. One second she was cutting hair, the next, blood was rushing down her arm and onto the floor. She muttered a soft 'fuck' and wrapped her hand in a towel, excusing herself from her client and letting one of the other girls finish up the haircut and blowout. Never cut past your second knuckle, the number one cutting rule they drilled into your head during cosmetology school. A rule she broke all the time, and occasionally she would snip herself but nothing major. This...this was a rookie mistake that wouldn't stop bleed, no matter how much pressure she put on it or how hard she pinched the skin back together. Sighing, she had one of the girls tie a towel as tight as they could and she headed off to med.

"Hi, um, is Dr. Halstead or Dr. Manning here?" She asked the nurse sitting at the check in desk.

The nurse gave her a questioning look. Olivia held up her make shift bandaged hand.

"I'm their sister in law. I had an accident at work."

The nurse gave her a wide eyed look and escorted her back to an empty room. Will came in about ten minutes later.

"What did you do? The front desk nurse paged me, said you had a work accident?!"

Olivia picked up her bandaged hand.

"7 1/2 inch Kamisori blades." She said with a cheeky smile.

Will undid the towel and grimaced.

"Good lord sis, did you call Jay?"

"Nah, it's nothing major. There's no need to bother him with a small cut."

Will shrugged.

"Alright, let me numb it and then I'll stitch you up. You won't be able to work for a couple weeks till it heals."

"You serious? Can't I just not bend it or some shit."

Will shot her a look.

"Fine, I won't do anything involving my left hand."

"Good, I'll be back in 20."

Right on time, Will came back with a stitch kit and set her up to start. Just as Will was about to place the first stitch, Jay came barreling into the room, a panic stricken look on his face.

"You seriously called him!"

"No, you said not to!"

Jay rushed to her side.

"What happened! Yvonne called my cell. She said you got hurt at work."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I just clipped myself with my scissors. It's no big deal."

"Big enough deal to have Will patch you up."

"Only because I couldn't get the bleeding to stop."

"And done." Will interrupted.

"Thanks Will,' she smiled then turned to Jay, 'Alright I have to get back to work and so do you, I'll see you at home later."

She went to kiss him goodbye and he pulled back slightly.

"You need to go home."

"And you need to call down."

"Livi-"

"It's a cut, Jay. I'm fine."

"I'd really like you to go home and rest."

"Don't do this, don't baby me."

"I'm not!"

"You are, I have to go back to the shop. I'll do paperwork and other shit that has to get done."

"Okay, okay but nothing strenuous."

"Yes dad." She mocked.

When she got back to work, it was almost the end of the day and most of the girls were finishing up. Olivia sat at her desk in her office and dropped her head into her hands, feeling a migraine coming on. She groaned at the sound of her phone dinging, indicating she had a text.

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**Why do you think I baby you? I don't baby you**

Olivia sighed, she must've struck a nerve of his.

**_To Jay, from Olivia:_**

**_Bc you get so overly paranoid about everything with me. It was a cut! I didn't get plowed into by a bus, or hit my head, or some other crazy shit_**

**To Olivia, from Jay: **

**I just get scared. I'm sorry that bothers you. **

Now Olivia felt bad for acting like such a brat.

**_To Jay, from Olivia:_**

**_Babe, I love that you're always wanting to look at for me, I do but the tone you had today bc I didn't call you was a bit much. _**

**To Olivia, from Jay:**

**Maggie called me an said you were in the ED. How else was I supposed to react to hearing that. **

**_To Jay, from Olivia:_**

**_And I'm sorry she put that fear in you, can we please just talk about this when you get home?_**

**To Olivia, from Jay: **

**Yeah we can do that. **

A couple minutes later, someone was knocking at the office door.

"Come in."

Yvonne stepped in and shut the door behind her.

"Everyone headed out and I locked the front door."

"Okay, you can go if you want. You don't have to wait for me."

"I'll hang for a bit. What's going on, you good?"

"Yeah, just stressed but what else is new? Are you excited to be getting married next week!!"

" I can not wait for all this wedding shit to be over with that's for sure."

The two shared a laugh and sat quietly.

"Actually, do you have a second before you go?" Olivia asked.

"Sure, what's up?"

"You know, I'm close with all you girls, but I feel like we've gotten so much closer lately."

"Agreed."

"You're like a sister to me, and it would mean the world to me if you'd be my maid of honor."

Yvonne's face lit up with a big smile.

"I'd be honored to."

The two stood and have each other a hug.

"Okay okay, go home, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for everything today Von."


	15. Pictures Of Me, Pictures Of You

Olivia was giddy, a side of her that Jay loved to see, and hadn't seen since before she lost her memories. It reminded him so much of her old self, and a part of him missed that. Luckily for them, the Chicago weather was cooperating, allowing them to have their photoshoot outside. Jay was making breakfast in the kitchen while Olivia showered up in the master bathroom. Jay was platting pancakes and flipping bacon when Diana, Yvonne, Michelle and Jospehine came walking into the kitchen.

"Did you knock?" Jay curiously asked.

"Do we ever?" Michelle chuckled, in response.

Jay smiled and shook his head, placing his spatula on the counter.

"Better be carful, never know what you'll walk in on." He said walking out the kitchen.

The girls made mocking gag noises and joked about him being gross. In all reality, he did have a point. The two of them went at it like rabbits, no part of the house was off limits. Jay walked over to the stairs and called up to Olivia.

"Babe, the girls are here!"

Olivia appeared at the top of the stairs wearing that blue robe he loved so much.

"On second thought, they can wait." He said, eyeing her hungrily.

Olivia smirked and sauntered down the steps to meet him.

"Sorry detective, we're hard pressed for time this morning." She replied with a quick kiss.

Jay grabbed her hips and pulled her close to press himself into her.

"Oh, it's hard alright." He huskily replied.

Olivia licked her lips, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She reach into his sweatpants and held his length in her hand.

"Shame we have guests."

She gave him a light squeeze before walking off towards the kitchen. Jay groaned and followed her. They all sat at the large round table and had breakfast together, quickly going over the agenda for the day and then shifting conversation to Yvonne's upcoming wedding. Olivia held Jay's hand as Yvonne spoke about all the final details and things she'd been planning. Jay was shocked at how much really went into a wedding, shit nobody tells you. After about an hour, the girls went up stairs to the glam room to get Olivia ready, and Jay went to shower. Jay's only request for this shoot was that Olivia do his hair. Olivia found it odd, because Jay could get very picky with his hair and often after she cut and styled it, he'd play with it to his liking anyway. The girls sat quietly against the wall and watched the sweet moment unfold before them. Diana subtly snapped pictures of them. The way Jay lovingly looked at her through the mirror while Olivia fussed over him was heart warming.

Diana snapped a picture of Olivia standing behind Jay, in her blue satin robe with her hair all curled and up in pins. She was focused and fussing on jay's hair, her ring sparkling beautifully in the light coming off the vanity mirror and over head lightening. Jay was watching her admiringly with a loving smile on his face. The picture captured their natural state of being with each other. It was something that was easy and came natural to them. An effortless love.

"God, you two make this so easy."

The couple both turned their heads to look at their friend.

"Huh?" Jay asked.

"Like a fucking Hollywood couple. It's sickening and amazing all at the same time." Diana commented.

"Oh my god, get out so we can get dressed. I don't want to start the day off late." Olivia reminded.

The two were left in the room to dress. As Jay zipped the back of her dress for her, Olivia glanced at him over her shoulder.

"Why'd you want me to do your hair? You're always so, I don't know, picky about it."

Jay pecker her shoulder.

"Because I just wanted to have this little moment before all the craziness of the day started."

Olivia spun around in Jays arms and put her arms around his neck

"I love you, so much." She said softly.

"Not as much as I love you."

"Impossible, I love you more."

Jay chuckled.

"Did we just do that weird corny couple thing?"

"We did. Come on, we've got a photo shoot to attend."

* * *

They all headed down to the riverwalk and began the engagement shoot. The first one they took, Jay had his back to the camera with Olivia standing in front of him, but she couldn't be seen by the camera either. All you could see was her arms looped around his neck, and in her left hand, dangled a set of handcuffs. The next, Jay had on his police blues. The picture was a close up shot of his name tag and his badge with Olivia's resting closely to it. It was followed by a pulled back shot of the same pose, but this time you could see them smiling at one another while Jay's hand rested on her hip to hold her close. A similar picture to that was a candid shot of her giving him a suggestive smirk while pulling on his tie and Jay had his head thrown back in laughter. Another was of Olivia in a white dress, holding Jay's police cap out in front of her. The photo was zoomed in enough where her face was cut out but the hat and her ring were crystal clear.

After a quick change, Jay into a white crisp long sleeved button down with black pants, and Olivia into a short black, fitted and flared tank dress that had a deep 'V' in the front with black pumps. The next photo was of Olivia on her tippy toes kissing Jay, with one of her legs lifted and bent to his hip. Jay had a hand around her back and his other on her thigh, holding her leg in place. Olivia's left arm was extended back, holding onto a bunch of large white balloons.

One picture was of the two of them down by one of the railings near the river, sharing a kiss with the river and the cityscape behind them. The sun was setting around them and reflecting off the buildings making it perfect for picture background. And once the sun had faded and the city was lit in all its beautiful lights around them, colored and black and white pictures were incredible.

It was a day filled with such love a beautiful new memories. Once they deemed satisfied, everyone headed home to get ready for the engagement party at molly's. Jay had decided to shower first, and when he returned to their bedroom, Olivia was lying on the bed in one of his button down police shirts with most of the buttons undone.

"Now that is a picture I need on my phone."

She gave him a sultry smile over her shoulder before standing up. With most of the top buttons open, Jay could see the peaks of the navy blue lingerie set she wore underneath.

"Well then lucky for you, there happen to be some new pictures on there for you already."

"That does seem lucky."

"How late can we be for our own engagement party?" She asked, toying the the band of the towel around his waist.

"Not late at all. Hard pressed for time remember?"

Olivia pulled the towel from his waist, kissed down his chest and dropped to her knees.

"There seems to be something else thats hard pressed at the moment that needs immediate attention."

"Is that sooo-oh good god."

Jay's hands tangled in her hair and guided her head up and down. They were defiantly going to be late and Jay was not about to stop what was about to happen, thats for sure.


	16. You're Like My Dad

Olivia and Jay strolled into their engagement party 45 minutes late, earning knowing looks and smirks from their friends. Molly's had been set up nicely for the occasion. Olivia went instantly to mingle and greet every single person she could while Jay hung back a bit and kept an eye on her. She was chatting away with Kim and hailey about the decorations and how this party was everything they wanted. Simple yet a little extragavent. They drank, ate, danced and continued to mingle, barely spending a second with one another. Jay grabbed her as they were crossing paths and pulled her to him.

"Here's my beautiful wife."

"Well, hello my dashing husband, fancy seeing you around here."

Jay chuckled and kissed her.

"I think we need to find a back room to put to use."

Olivia pushed him back.

"Get out of here, that's not happening."

"Come on, just a quick round."

"No,' She laughed,' Let me go, I have to find Voight."

"Voight? Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, jeez relax, I just have to talk to him."

Hank was sitting at a table with people from the unit and the firehouse, all chatting away. Olivia gently walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Could I possibly steal you for a dance?"

Hank smiled at her.

"Of course you can."

Hank led her back to the dance floor.

"So what do i owe the pleasure?" He asked.

"What, I can't ask you to dance?"

"I'm surprised Jay isn't stealing you away from everyone."

"He tried, but I had to side step it." She smirked.

"He adores you, thats for sure."

Olivia hummed in response.

"Hank, are you okay with Jay and I getting married?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to make sure."

"You and Jay are like my own, and anything that makes the two of you happy, makes me happy."

"Well that's good, because I have another thing I need to ask."

"Oh boy." He joked.

"I was wondering, would you walk me down the aisle and give me away to Jay?"

Hank stopped in his tracks and looked at her. Jay could tell from across the room what Olivia had asked, so he made his way over and put an arm around her.

"You'd really want me to do that?"

"There's no one else in this world that I would want more than you. You're like my Dad, and it would mean so much for Jay and I, for you to be apart of our wedding in this way."

Hank gave the couple a teary smile.

"I'd be honored."

* * *

Halfway through the party, a photo montage that was put together by their friends began playing on one of the walls. It was set to the song 'speechless' by dan and shay. It was actually one of the songs that reminded Jay so much of Olivia, especially when she walked into the foyer before they left, wearing her white lace dress. Jay smiled and glanced at Olivia. His smiled instantly faded when he saw how sad she looked.

"Baby? Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

She looked at him, heartbroken.

"There's so many memories in the pictures that I can't remember."

"That doesn't matter."

"How could it not matter. I'm still missing so much."

Jay took her hands in his own.

"It doesn't matter because we are building our future together, you and I, our future little Halsteads, that's what matters."

They spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking, laughing and creating new memories. After coffee and cake were served, Voight gave a touching speech. speaking about how, after the loss of his son, and then the loss of Al, he and Jay really bonded and Jay became like a son to him, how he couldn't wait to be gaining such a wonderful daughter in law. He spoke of how Jay reminded him of his once younger self and Olivia, like a young Camille, with her kind and patient heart. He spoke to her of how being the wife of a police officer was no easy task, but she was made for this. He told Jay, that now he had someone to permanently be in his corner through the good, the bad, the ugly, the tough and the beautiful times. To love each other and support one another always. How he planned to spoil his future grandchildren whether they liked it or not. He wished them all the luck and love in the world, and raised a glass to them.

As they party ended, they reflected on all the love and support they had from the people around them and how lucky they were. People like their friends weren't easy to find but they found them, and they were gracious for that.


	17. Natural Element

**hi all! sorry this took a little long, i just got a head for the next few chapters so updates should be happening a lot sooner. i hope you guys are liking it so far, comments and reviews are always welcome! thanks for always reading!**

* * *

It had to be Friday the 13th or a full moon, hell, with the type of day she was having, it must've been both. From the second she unlocked the door this morning and walked in, the day had been weird. Something was off, her friends were acting weird, clients were acting weird, the people at Starbucks had messed up her coffee order three times. Her phone had been buzzing in her pocket on and off all day and when she finally couldn't take it anymore she shoved it in her station draw. The salon phone began to ring, again, and she briskly walked over to the desk to answer it.

"Salon Blue at the Riverwalk." She answered.

"Ah, the sound of my fiancé's voice. How are you beautiful?"

"Hello Jay."

"Gee, thanks honey I'm good."

Olivia sighed.

"I'm sorry babe, it's just been a hell of a day. What's up why are you calling on the shop phone?"

Jay chuckled.

"Well, I tried calling your cell, multiple times actually, along with texting and you weren't responding. I got worried."

"Sorry, it's been going off non stop like crazy today."

"You got a side piece I should be worried about."

"There's nobody for me but you, Halstead." She smirked.

"Well that's what I was hoping to hear."

"So what's going on? My next should be here any minute."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date tonight?"

"A date huh?"

"Mhmm, some place special."

"Okay, I'll meet you at home after work."

"Ah, nope, I'm picking you up from work."

"I'm not going out on a date in my work clothes."

"About that..."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Spill Halstead, what did you do?"

Jay heartfeltly laughed.

"I might have dropped off something for you to wear later while you were on your coffee run and your friends may be getting you ready tonight."

She glanced back at all her friends

"I knew something was up! I knew it!"

"What?! How'd you know?"

"Well, I do live with a detective, who happens to be pretty good at his job."

"Just pretty good?"

"Depends on tonight.' She laughed 'I have to go, I'll see you later, I love you Jay."

"See you later babygirl"

Olivia hung up with a small smirk and went back to work.

* * *

Jay had to be taking her somewhere fancy. There was no other explanation as to why this was the outfit he picked out. She had stared at this jumpsuit in her closet for god knows how long and every time they went out, she wanted to wear it, but it was like her body and her head wouldn't let her. Now here she was, wearing it and it felt odd yet familiar. The striking emerald green, 3/4 sleeved open shouldered jumpsuit was stunning against her skin. Her friends primped and pampered her. Her hair it's curly yet stunning mess and her makeup bold and suttle with a nude lip, emerald earrings adorned her ears and she felt like a celebrity or something.

She sat and waited for Jay. He was late, and Jay was never late...ever. Jay was always early. The first couple minutes, she chalked it up to possible traffic, but after that as the minutes ticked by, the knot in her stomach began to grow. When he walked in, more like frazzly bolted through the door, relief washed over her and then horror and worrieness when she caught sight of his face.

"What the hell happened to you!?" She gasped.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I had to stop and get flowers and that made me more late." He rambled.

"Jay, what happened to your face!"

"Oh, yeah about that. It's nothing really."

Nothing, right, a spilt eyebrow, a split lip, a bruised cheek and what was sure to be a black eye were just nothing. Olivia rushed to him and cupped his face in her hands to examine him.

"This isn't nothing, have you gone to med?"

"No, I have a date with you."

"Oh no, you're getting check out first."

"Baby, I'm fine."

"Let me grab my clutch and we'll go."

Jay grabbed her hands.

"We have a date planned. We're going on our date. No trip to med no distractions, just us enjoying a night to ourselves."

Her eyes searched his.

"You promise you're okay?"

"Never better, now let's go."

Jay escorted her out to his truck and opened the door for her to climb in.

"Such a gentleman." She commented with a smirk.

Jay kissed her hand and shut the door before climbing in and driving off. They drove for a bit, and it felt like in circles at times but Jay assures her he knew where he was going. Jay pulled up to the valet at a very swanky hotel. Olivia looked over at him a raised an eyebrow.

"You got me all dressed up just to bring me to a fancy hotel so you could take my clothes off?"

"No, but I did reserve us a room here so we could have a few drinks, enjoy the night and not worry about driving."

Jay looped her arm through his and walked her inside. This place was incredible. Olivia knew of it because when most famous people came to Chicago, they frequently stayed here because of the privacy and elegance it offered with its hefty price tag.

"Jay we can't stay here. This place is out of control expensive."

Jay pulled her to a hault in front of the elevators.

"Well it's already paid for, so I guess you have no choice but to enjoy it."

Olivia got into the elevator with Jay and they went up to the 16th floor. When the doors opened, the sight startled her a little bit. In front of them was a gigantic ballroom restaurant. People were dressed up, sitting and having dinner, having drinks at the bar, dancing on the dance floor to soft elegant music or outside on the balcony. Jay took her hand and led her into the room. They were escorted to their table which was near the windowed balcony and the view of the city lit up at night was beautiful.

"Jay, what's going on? What's all this for?"

Jay kissed her hand.

"I thought this would be a nice change of pace."

"You hate fancy things like this."

"But you love them."

Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him.

"You really are a truly hopeless romantic."

He bent his head to kiss her gently.

"C'mon."

Jay led her out to the dance floor. They swayed along to the music, Jay occasionally spun her out and in or dipped her back. This had all felt oddly familiar to her, being her, dancing with Jay. They sat and had a fancy dinner and Olivia knew that later Jay would for sure being starving and they'd be ordering room service. They grabbed drinks from the bar and headed outside to sit on one of the couches that overlooked the city, near one of the heating lamps. Jay sat with his arm around her and her cuddled up at his side.

"So this is how the rich and fancy spend their nights," He commented, "Not a bad gig."

"Dressing up and dancing a new Halstead thing?"

"Ehhh, here and there, not an all the time thing."

"It's not that bad once you get used to it."

"Seemed like you were in your natural element."

Olivia shrugged.

"Fancy parties happened occasionally when I lived in New York."

"You seem like the gala type."

"What does that even mean?" She laughed.

"I don't know, it just seems so easy for you to transition into this lifestyle."

Olivia sat up straight.

"Does it bother you that I have a lot of money?"

"What? No, why would you even think that?"

Olivia shrugged again and sat away from him a bit.

"My money is your money, you know that right?"

Jay cupped her face.

"Where is all this coming from Livi?"

"It's nothing. Wanna get out of here and go back to the room? Order some room service?"

"That'd be nice, I'm starving."

Olivia smirked, she knew she'd be right about that.


	18. Makes Sense

**Hey everyone! What a freaking season premier! Wowowow I won't spoil anything but I will say, Jesse lee soffers freckles now own my life. Why is he the cutest human alive.**

* * *

Jay woke before Olivia the next morning. They'd spent the night using their alone time very well, to say the least. She slept soundly on his chest and Jay looked down at her. It still amazed him that this girl, this wonderful, incredible, beautiful girl, would be his forever. He wasn't really sure when he fell for her, but it was like he was always fighting it. She was the one who he always wanted to talk to, always be around, at the end of shift her voice was what he needed to hear to bring him back to a good place. She was always the one who could talk him off that ledge, give him a voice of reason. He couldn't count the nights he would show up at her door, ready to lose it and the second she opened the door and smiled at him, all was right in the world. How could one person, come from out of the blue, and change your life so insanely. But that's what she did, it's who she was, it's who she would always be.

Jay sadly thought of his mom. She would've have been over the moon about Olivia, no doubt. She always told Jay that one day he'd find someone that he needed like he needed air to breathe. At the time, he brush it off and not paying attention to her, but she was right. Olivia was the girl he knew his mother always wanted for her son. And Jay knew for certain the Olivia and his mother would've gotten along well. Deep down it hurt a bit that there would never be that relationship. His mother's last words to him, seemed to be blasting in his head. '_Oh sweetheart, one day, you'll find someone who, you'll love more than you ever thought possible. You'll wonder how you ever lived life without them, and it''ll happen out of nowhere. You'll be a husband one day, and have beautiful children who will grow up having you as such a wonderful mentor, friend and more importantly, a father.'_ And now, he had that. He had a beautiful woman who would soon be his wife, they had a son who they loved for then anything. Jay would do anything for them.

Olivia filled the many holes in Jay's heart that had accumulated over the years. He was a better cop, and a better man because of her, there was no doubt about that. She always knew when he was having a bad day without ever having to ask him. And she was always at the ready to listen to him when he needed her. All the good, the bad, and the hurt, led him to her and he'd forever be grateful to the universe for that. Olivia stirred and Jay brushed the hair away from her face.

"Hey."

Her voice was laced with sleep and she settled back down into his chest.

"Good morning baby."

"What time is it?"

"It's early still, go bad to sleep."

Olivia shook her head.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Jay, what does this all feel so familiar?"

"Hm,' he hummed, 'Makes sense you'd ask that?"

"Why you say that?"

"We've been here before."

"We have?"

"Yeah, while back."

Olivia looked up at him.

"Tell me the story."

"We has had this stupid fight about some date you were going on. It was a blind date and I was worried and didn't think you should go. Naturally, you had to do what I didn't want you to and you went anyway. I had no idea where you were going or anything of the sort. Voight had sent me undercover for a case we were working. Turns out, it was at the same place upstairs at this hotel, and there you were sitting at the bar, looking so sad and broken. I knew I wasn't supposed to go over to you much less talk to you but I had to. There was something wrong and you needed me. Voight ripped me a new one later on but I didn't care. I sat down next to you and you just let me have it. Said I was following you and treating you like a child. I joked that it was in my nature of being a cop, you didn't like that joke too much. I explained that I was bailing on the UC gig bc I saw you and I was worried, you just started crying. I'd never seen you like this before. You said the guy showed up, saw you and said he didn't date ugly girls who didn't look like models or Barbie dolls."

Jay paused to shake his head and not get angry again.

"I was pissed. I wanted to find him and beat the shit out of him. Fucking douchebag. You looked so beautiful, then again you always do, but that night, that night you looked mind blowing. Green jumpsuit, hair and make up like a rockstar, exuding sexiness. You wanted to go home and just be alone, I wouldn't allow it. So, I became your date that night. We danced, had dinner, honestly had one of the best times together. We'd both had a little too much to drink so we got a room here. That night I wanted nothing more that to spend the rest of that night in this room, making love to you, showing you over and over again how god damn perfectly beautiful you are."

"Did you? I mean did we? Like, ya know?"

"No, no we didn't. I wanted to so bad though."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't want you to think that, that was all that night was about."

Olivia sat up.

"So last night was like your do over?"

"Yes..no, kinda. That night was special for both of us, almost like a shifting point of our relationship. I just wanted you to have that night again."

Olivia smiled softly

"I'm glad I got to have that night again. And I'm glad it ended the way you wanted it to the first time."

Jay chuckled.

"We'll have so many more times like this. That's for sure."


	19. April Showers

Olivia was finishing up her work day, closing early to due the snow storm that hit a lot harder than anyone planned. Mainly everyone left except for a couple of the girls who said they would stay to close up with her. The shop phone rang and one of the girls picked it up.

"Salon Blue at the river walk...hey what's up...yeah yeah, she's here hold on...Liv, Jay's on the phone."

Olivia smiled and took the phone from her friend.

"Hello detective." She said playfully.

"What are you still doing at work. You said you were leaving like an hour ago."

"First of all, calm down. I'm literally walking out in like 10 minutes. I'm just grabbing my bag and then leaving with the girls."

"Walking out with the girls means having an hour long conversation even though you just worked all day together." He chuckled.

"Okay, well while that's normally true, that's not happening today. We all just wanna get home. We're hearing the roads are bad."

"They are. Dispatch has be flooded with calls. 51 stopped by and even told us it'd be smart to leave. Voight is letting us go. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll be alright."

"I can see if Casey or Severide can swing by with the truck to get you."

"Jay, you're being paranoid. I'll be just fine driving"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Jay, I love you and I will meet you at home."

Jay huffed.

"Okay okay fine. Be careful, I love you too. I'll see you at home."

Normally it only took her 10 minutes tops to either get to or come home from work. Today, however it took three hours. Luckily for her, she grabbed coffee before she left. Unlucky for her, her bladder was not having it. Traffic was moving slower than a snails pace. Jay called her every fifteen minutes but she spent most of the time on phone with the girls talking. They were all sitting in traffic, complaining about it and chatting about random shit.

Jay was already home by the time she got there and he was using the snow blowing to clean the drive way. She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him all bundled up, covered in snow, battling the storm to get the driveway clear. It all honesty it was no use, there was still hours of heavy snow headed their way and he'd only end up going back out there to do it all again. But Jay being Jay, he had to do it.

"What took you so long?" He asked as she got out of the car.

"I told you, everyone was slugging along."

Jay turned off the snow blower and walked over to kiss her hello.

"I'm just glad you're home. I was ready to drive out there and come find you."

"How romantic. I need to get inside before my toes fall off."

Jay glanced down at her shoes. Her stilletoes were definitely not snow shoe material.

"You wore those to work?"

"I did. I tried it out. Working in heels is not my thing."

"I like them better when we go out or when you wear nothing but those." He suggestively smirked.

"Maybe later, once I'm all warmed up, they'll be the only things I leave on." She teased.

"Good god,' he groaned, ' if it weren't negative a million degrees outside I would toss you in the back seat of your truck."

Olivia bit her lip and looked up at him through her lashes that had a few snowflakes on them.

"I'd rather the drivers seat of your truck. Then everytime you drove it you'd always remember how you had me against the steering wheel, of how you fucked me hard and fast in your truck."

"Okay, yea, the drive way can wait."

Jay went to scoop her up to carry her to his truck when she stopped him.

"Finish up the driveway, I'll see you inside."

Jay let out a defeated groan.

"So not fair."

"Love you baby!" She called as she went into the house.

* * *

Jay stepped into the house and was engulfed by warmth. Happy to finally defrost, he shed his wet clothes and walked into the kitchen. There was his girl, in leggings and his CPD long sleeve that she claimed as her own but made him wear from time to time so it smelled like him, trays and trays of cookies surrounding her on the counter. Jay snuck up behind her to wrap his arms around her and press his face into the crook of her neck. Olivia squealed and tried to pull away.

"You feel like an ice cube! Get out of here!"

"Nooo I need to warm up."

"There's tons of oven fresh cookies and home made hot chocolate."

"I was thinking more along the lines of something else."

"Soup?" She teased, knowing full well what he was suggesting.

"Nope." He began placing light kisses along her neck.

"Coffee?"

"Try again."

She spun around and pressed her lips to his.

"Me?"

"Perfect."

Jay lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, and carried her over to the couch where he dropped down and placed her on his lap. She pulled Jay's shirt over his head and he did the same with hers. Jay went to updo his belt buckle when she stopped him. She tugged his pants down his legs and then stood before him. She leaned forward to kiss his lips and moved her way down his neck, nipping a long the way, down his chest. She got on her knees and gently pushed his legs apart to give herself room to work. There was something so divine about Jay that set a fire within her. With a slow, feather light lick from his base to his tip, Olivia then engulfed him fully in her mouth, working him exactly how she knew he liked it. Jay's moans and a few curse words filled the house. His hands in her hair worked her along. With her gag reflex not being an issue, she knew Jay was close, and just when she thought he was about to explode he pulled her up off of him.

"Wh-"

"I need to be inside of you, now."

Jay pulled her down onto him, and the feeling of him entering her had her dropping her head onto his shoulder. She started her pace out slow but Jay wasn't having it. He rushed to meet her thrusts and sped up the pace, his hand gripping her hips tightly. He body gripped him in such a way, that he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Come on baby, I know you're almost there, give it to me come on."

Olivia clenched around him and exploded which sent Jay reeling. They both sat there panting for a minute or two.

"Warmed up now?" She asked.

"Maybe."

Olivia climbed off of him and laid next to him on the couch. They watched the snow fall outside the window.

"I can't believe how much snow is out there and the storm isn't anywhere near over."

"Well, you know what they say about April showers." He said.

Olivia laughed.

"Rain showers, Halstead! April rain showers bring May flowers. April snow storms... I don't know what April snow storms bring."

"Sex, lots of fucking sex."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Riigghhtt because sex is such an issue for us." She said sarcastically.

"You still owe it to me in the front seat of my truck."

"Don't worry, I won't forget about that."

Jay kissed the top of her head.

"We should do some wedding planning!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Wait, what, maybe later. how about another round?"

"Yeah, wedding planning can wait."


	20. Snow Day

Olivia woke in the middle of the night and slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Jay, who slept soundly. She made a cup of coffee and went to look out the window in the living room, where the snow was still falling heavily outside. Everything outside was covered in at least a foot an a half of snow, and with it undisturbed it looked so beautiful, so peaceful. She could tell but the look of everything outside, most of the city would be closed for a snow day. Her and Jay hadn't had a snow day together in, from what she could remember, probably years.

_She banged on the door of Jay's apartment with her foot, her arms filled with bags so she didnt have to make another trip out into the storm. Jay swung open the door and laughed at the sight of her._

_"You spending the night or moving in?"_

_"Shut up Halstead, and let me in."_

_Jay took most of the bags from her arms and stepped aside so she could come in. She quickly removed her snow covered jacket, hat and boots and went off in the direction of his room._

_"Make yourself at home." he called as he went to drop the bags in the kitchen._

_"Always do!" She called back._

_Jay chuckled and began unpacking the bags and bags of food she had brought with her, along with beer. She came into the kitchen in a pair of sweats and his bears sweatshirt. Her hair in a messy bun and her cheeks and nose rosy from the cold wind. He stared at her, wondering how the hell she could make coming in from the cold and snow so damn beautiful._

_"So since I know you didn't eat dinner yet, I figured I'd cook."_

_"Maybe I did eat."_

_Olivia raised a brow at him._

_"A bag of doritos doesn't count as dinner."_

_Jay smirked and raised his hands in defense._

_"Okay so all I need you to do is just grab me some pots and pans, because you keep them where I can't reach them and then out of the kitchen you go."_

_Jay grabbed the pots and pans she requested._

_"Why do I have to leave?"_

_"Jay, you like to stick your fingers in everything."_

_He nodded in agreement._

_"It always looks so good, I can't help it!"_

_She laughed and gave him a shove._

_"Grab a beer and get out."_

_Jay grabbed two beers, popped them open and handed one to her._

_"Teach me how to cook."_

_She took a sip of beer and nudged his shoulder._

_"Alright Halstead, let's do this."_

_Cooking with Jay was a task in itself. He was a disaster and was making such a mess. _

_"Drain the potatoes and then add the milk, butter, salt, pepper, garlic, a little bit of parmesan cheese and mash it all up."_

_Her back was to him as she fried up the cube steak flanks she was making._

_"Yeah sure, shit-fuck, it's okay I got it."_

_Olivia turned around and laughed at Jay. While draining the potatoes in the sink, all the potatoes had fallen out of the pot._

_"Ouch, oh come on."_

_"Don't pick them up with your hands, they're a little hot."_

_Jay playfully glared at her. Once the potatoes where back in the pot and drained, he added all the ingredients and mashed them together. He tried a forkful, and then scooped up another forkful for her to try. He blew on the hot food to cool it down and held the fork out to her. She went to grab it but he pulled it away._

_"Open up."_

_He fed her the mashed potatoes, and she was impressed that they had tasted as well as they did._

_"They're perfect. Why don't you plate them up and put a little bit of butter on top, the steaks are ready to eat."_

_They finished plating up dinner and Jay carried their food into the living room and Olivia grabbed another two beers. They sat on the couch and ate together._

_"This is really good, and I can totally make this on my own."_

_"See, it's not that hard to make dinner."_

_Jay shrugged._

_"Just always seems kind of pointless to cook for just myself."_

_Olivia put her plate on the coffee table and rested her hand on his knee._

_"Then we'll have dinner together."_

_"Every night?"_

_"We'll try to, why not. Dinner will be at my place tomorrow."_

_"I don't think you'll be going home anytime soon Liv, the storms raging out there."_

The sound of the stairs creaking snapped her out of her day dream.

"Brand new house and the stairs make noise." Jay scoffed.

"That's what you get for sneaking up on me."

Jay reached for her.

"What're you doing out of bed?"

"Just watching the storm. Why are you up?"

"Voight called, told us all to take the day."

Olivia hummed in response.

"Are you closing the salon tomorrow...well today?"

"Probably, I doubt anyone would want to come to work, much less get their hair done."

"Well then, let's go back to bed, turn off both of our alarms and just sleep through the morning."

"It all sounded so good till you said sleep through the morning."

"Okay so lets sleep in and how about some wedding planning?"

"That would be wonderful."

* * *

"We really have to pick all this out now?" He asked, perplexed.

"Yep, we have to decide on color schemes, food, music we want for the ceremony and played at the reception, flowers, centerpieces, hotel room blocks, where and when we take pictures."

"Jesus, how much have you gotten done already?"

"Mainly, how we reception should be set up. I sat with the event coordinator and their sketch artist and put the whole room together. On paper it looks insane, I can't wait to see how both of what we want comes to life."

"What color scheme did you go with for the room?"

"That I left undecided until we pick something."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Jay asked, looking down at his hands.

"Of course you can! This is your wedding to Jay."

Jay took his phone from his pocket and pulled up a few pictures. Olivia was in love with everything he showed her.

"You always used to say that when you got married one day, you wanted all jewel tones. I think they'd go nicely for the fall."

Olivia smiled.

"I absolutely love it, but do you."

"Yeah, the more I look at them the more I like them."

"Are you going to wear your army greens?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I wanted you to know that if you want to, then you should."

"I don't know if I do, I kinda had something else in mind."

"Okay, then that's what you do. But I kinda had this other idea."

"I'm listening."

"I wanna do blue."

"Blue?"

"Yeah, a way to honor you, and our police family. It's played such an important role in our lives, I thought it'd be special."

Jay smiled at her.

"I love that idea."

"Good, okay so what do you say we take a break? I can't look at anymore of this stuff."

"Actually, there's one more thing I need to talk to you about."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Let's get married this September."

Olivia looked at hime, with her mouth agape."

"I'm sorry I thought you just said we should get married this September." She laughed.

Jay looked at her in all seriousness.

"Oh my god, you weren't kidding."

"I think we should."

"Jay, that's what 4 1/2- 5 months away!"

"I know, but we so could do this in that time. Just think about it, besides the sooner I can scream from the rooftops that you're my wife, the better."

"I'll think about it."


	21. What's Going On

It was the middle of the night and the piercing sound of Jay's cell phone ringing bolted them both awake.

"Halstead," He answered horsely and groggily, "Huh...yes sarge...yeah okay, yeah I...yeah yeah we'll be there right away."

"What's going on?" Olivia mumbled.

Jay stared down at his phone before giving her a worried look.

"Jay, what's going on?"

"I-I don't know. Voight said he needs us to get to med...now."

* * *

The ride to Med was silent. Not the comfortable silence that surrounded theme from time to time. The empty silence that was filled with fear and worry of the unknown. Voight hadn't given Jay any info when he called, but it was clear as day something was up, which led both of them to believe something was wrong. Preparing yourself for the worst is single handedly the most terrible thing to do because your mind wonders to its deepest, darkest fears that can consume everything within you. Something had to have happened, it's the only reason Voight would call and drag both of them out in the middle of the night.

They walked into Med, holding hands, their breaths, and filled with nerves. No one was in the ED waiting room, which made them think they were the first to arrive. Jay flashed his badge, said he was Detective Halstead, Doctor Halstead was his brother and that Sargent Hank Voight had called them. Jay had no clue if Will was working, but at the mention of Voight, the check in nurse quickly let them into the main floor. Walking the main floor, you'd never believe it was passed midnight with all the commotion going on. They caught sight of Will, breezing in and out of room and a small part of them was relieved. Maggie quickly approached them and brought them to room four.

"Hank's in there with him now. He's okay, and you were the first people he asked for. Gave me your name and badge number off the bat."

Confused, Olivia and Jay looked at one another before Maggie pointed into the room. Olivia gasped and grabbed onto Jay's arm. Hank was sitting in the chair, holding the small chid close to his chest, reading him a story. Hearing Olivia's gasp, the little boy looked and excitement filled his features.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

The little boy scampered off of Voight's lap and ran to them. Jay and Olivia dropped to their knees to wrap the small boy in a hug.

"Yous smooshing me." He giggled.

They looked at the boy in disbelief.

"I's told thems all the insportant stuff Daddy."

"I am so proud of you buddy."

The little boy's brows knit together.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

"I am so happy to see you James. What happened baby, how'd you get here?"

"Pop Pop Hank gave me milk and cookies because I was so brave. But he said not to tell because is too late for snacks, but i dont wants to be in trouble Mama. And we reads stories...and me sees Uncle Will. I gots to plays with his heart phone."

It amazed them how nothing of this was phasing James.

"Jay, a word." Hank asked, pointing to the hall.

Olivia picked up James and sat on the bed with him. Jay followed Voight out to the hall and closed the door behind him.

"Voight, what the hell happened?"

"We don't know for sure. What I do know is that James' adoption fell through. Foster family dropped him off here. Maggie called me, she found him in the waiting room sitting alone in one of the chairs."

"What the fuck! We've got to find them and do...do something. Who leaves a child, what fucking morons."

"Jay...Jay listen to me. The team will handle it. You and Olivia are taking James home."

"Sarge-"

Hank shook his head.

"Will's looked him over, he's perfectly fine. I spoke to DCFS, they're going to fast track all your paperwork. James is yours."

"wh-what?" Jay was shocked. "I-uh-I..." Jay trailed off.

Hank put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Jay, take your son home."

Jay walked back into the room to find Olivia holding a sleeping James. She gently scooted over and made room for Jay, who sat down and wrapped an arm around her.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"We get to take James home."

"Jay," She sighed, "I can't go through that again. I...we can't lose him twice."

"We're not. Hank's pulled some strings. He's going to make sure James is forever ours."

"You promise?"

"No one is taking him away from us ever again."

Jay kissed the side of her head and held her.

"Looks like we've got a little Halstead."

Jay smiled.

"Yeah baby, yeah we do."

* * *

When they got home, it was around 5:30 am. Olivia went upstairs and laid James down in the spare bedroom. As she changed back into her pajamas in their room, the smell of coffee hit her nose. 5:45 am every morning the coffee pot was set to start brewing. Wondering where Jay was, she headed down into the kitchen, where she found him sitting at the island with a cup of coffee in front of him, while he was looking at pictures.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Just some old pictures."

Olivia looked over his shoulder.

"Who are they?" She asked.

That's Will and I as kids," He pointed out, "And that's my mom and dad."

Olivia never knew that Jay's mom looked like.

"Your Mom's beautiful."

Jay sighed.

"Yeah...she was."

Jay continued to flip the pages.

"You look so much like her." She pointed out.

"I wish you could've met her. Man, she would have loved you."

"Really?"

"Oh 100%. You are the girl my mom always said I needed to find."

"Did your Dad like me?"

"He...wasn't the nicest."

"Oh."

"It was because you were with me. He and I never saw eye to eye. The few times you were around him, he was rude. The first couple times, you put up with it to be polite. After that you were your sassy, snarky self."

"I am not snarky."

Jay gave her a look.

"Fine, maybe I am, but I bet he deserved it"

Jay gave her a quick kiss.

"Just hard to believe they're never going to be apart of my life, never really know you or our kids."

Olivia gave him a sad smile, she knew the feeling.

"Shit, Livi, I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole, I didn't-"

Olivia shook her head.

"I made my choices, and they led me to you. How can I be sad about that."

"You were so close with your family."

"I was, but I have you, and now James, our family here, that's all I need."


	22. SpookySzn

**Hi all! Hope you guys are still enjoying this story! What did you guys think of the last chapter?! In honor of Halloween here's a look into a Halloween flashback for our fave couple **

_"You're getting dressed up." Olivia demanded. _

_"I most certainly am not dressing up." _

_Olivia huffed and rolled her eyes knowing full well that Jay couldn't see her through the phone. They were going out to Molly's for Halloween with all their friends, all who were in fact, dressing up as well. And because Jay was a stubborn as they come he _refused_ to dress up. Sighting it as pointless and childlike. Olivia had come to recently learn that Jay hated halloween. He saw it as pointless and stupid. Olivia, on the other hand absolutely loved it, much like how she loved every major holiday. She loved dressing up, doing her make up, handing out candy to the kids, seeing everyone's costumes and really just having a fun night being a character. _

_"Jay, you're going to look outrageous not dressed up. Come on you can even be a stubborn, hard headed cop." She said sarcastically. _

_Jay scoffed._

_"Only if you go as a hairdresser." He shot back. _

_Olivia sighed. _

_"Are you like this with every holiday, cause if so, I need to rethink this friendship."_

_This was the first Halloween they were spending together. Olivia was actually really excited and Jay, well obviously not so much. _

_"Liv-" _

_"Look, if you're going to be a grump then stay home. And I'm not saying it to be mean. I'm saying it because everyone's gonna keep asking why you didn't get dressed up and then you're gonna be in a mood and then that's gonna put me in a mood, and then we're gonna leave and then we're gonna fight. I'm not down for that tonight jay."_

_Olivia's comment was met with silence. _

_"Have a good Halloween jay, whether you decided to enjoy the night with your friends or if you stay home... and if you stay home you better hand out full size candy bars."_

_"I live in an apartment building, no ones knocking on my door."_

_Jay planned on ditching the whole Halloween bar scene. Olivia had been right, jay would've have just been annoyed by everyone and would've ended up going home, which meant Olivia would leave because one never left without the other. Everyone was set to me meeting at Molly's at 9:30, and by 10:30 Jay was fidgety. What was she doing, were their friends looking out for her, there better not have been guys hitting on her, what was she dressed up as, how was she getting home. After having enough of his brain going into overdrive, he heaved himself off the couch and went into his room to get changed. Only problem is he had nothing to wear. While standing in front of his closet. There was a knock at the front door. Jay ignored it, knowing he had no candy to give. The knocking came again, and again, and again. Jay stormed to the door and swung it open, prepared to yell at whoever was on the other side. _

_"Bout time you opened the fucking door. Thought you might've been sleeping...oh wait, trick or treat, happy spooky season, __where's my candy?"_

_There stood the girl who had been clouding up his thoughts all night. And she looked remarkable. She wore black skinny jeans, black leather heeled boots, a fitted black shirt with a black leather jacket. Her lips a dark shade of red, Smokey eyes and huge sparkling hoops hanging from her ears. Jays jaw dropped a little. _

_"What?" She asked. _

_"Nothing, you look wow, what are you supposed to be?"_

_She smirked. _

_"Something I can easily match you to."_

_"Oh cool...wait what."_

_She breezed right by jay and went into his room to his closet. _

_"What're you doing?"_

_"Getting you dressed."_

_She started throwing things onto the bed and then started looking at her options. She eventually shrugged, picked up what she liked and handed the clothes to Jay._

_"Go change."_

_"Liv-"_

_"Now Halstead! Don't make me repeat myself."_

_Jay took the clothes from her hand. _

_"Yes ma'am."_

_Jay emerged from the bathroom a couple minutes later, and Olivia had to admit, he looked fucking hot. Black ripped jeans, black boots, a white tee and a black leather jacket. _

_"Well shit Jay Halstead, you look good."_

_"What am I supposed to be?"_

_"A biker guy I guess."_

_"Really, a biker? That's so fucking lame. I'm changing."_

_She put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. _

_"Are you saying my costume is lame?"_

_"No you look incredible, you always look incredible. I look stupid."_

_"You match me."_

_Jay looked down at his outfit and then hers._

_"People are gonna think we're dating."_

_"Then I'll be the luckiest girl in the bar. Come on let's go, alcohol is waiting."_

_She was something else. Jay was glad she showed up and dragged him out. The spent the night dancing and drinking together. Olivia spent the night glued to his side with her arm in his and the looks jay got from other guys in the bar kinda made him proud. No they weren't dating, but he was the only guy she had eyes for that night. After that night, jay didn't hate Halloween so much, in fact he'd grown to look forward to it. Then again, he looked forward to anything that involved Olivia. _


	23. Fallen

Olivia was exhausted. Her and Jay had barely gotten any sleep in the last couple days since James arrived and she felt like everything was complete chaos. Jay and James came down into the kitchen as Olivia was about to leave for work.

"Bye Momma." James beamed.

Olivia bent down to kiss his forehead.

"Bye baby, be good for Uncle Will while Daddy and I are at work today, okay?"

"I will!"

Olivia walked over to kiss Jay.

"Be careful out there on shift, come home to us." She said.

"Always."

Jay locked his arms around her, trapping her into their kiss.

"I have to go."

"Not yet." He mumbled as he kissed her again.

"Jay..." She laughed.

Jay pulled away and looked at her with darkened eyes.

"Maybe tonight after James goes to sleep, we can do some wedding things and some grown up things."

Olivia smiled.

"I'd love to."

* * *

For some reason, by the time she got to work, she was anxious and on edge. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. She briskly walked back to her office, Michelle and Yvonne hot on her tail.

"What's going on with you?"

"Are you sick?"

Olivia plonked down in her chair and sighed.

"We got James back."

Shock spread over their faces.

"Yeah, your faces are how I feel."

The girls shut the door and sat down.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"There's not much to say."

"Are you okay with all this?"

"Jay's so happy, he's over the moon to have James back."

"Liv, we asked about you.

* * *

It was almost end of shift when Olivia walked up the stairs into Intelligence. Voight was in his office and everyone was at their desks doing paperwork. Jay was so focused he didn't hear her come the stairs.

"You're kinda cute, can I get your number?"She whispered.

Jay's head snapped up, and he smiled when he saw it was her.

"Hey baby, what're you doing here?"

"You got a minute?"

Jay led her to the breakroom and shut the door behind sat on the couch and Jay sat next to her.

"What's going on Livi?"

"Are we ready for this?"

"For what?"

"All of this. A kid, a wedding, a life together."

"Are-are you having second thoughts?"

Olivia fought back tears and shook her head.

"Hey,' he said softly, 'I need you to talk to me."

Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

"I just feel so overwhelmed, and I don't know if I can do this."

"Livi, where is all this coming from?"

"It's just all so much and my head- ah, ow!" she grimaced.

Olivia gripped her head and shut her eyes in pain.

"Livi!"

Jay dropped to his knees in front of her and the team came rushing in.

"Someone call a bus!" He demanded.

Olivia screamed out in pain again.

"Talk to me Livi."

"Make it stop Jay, Make it stop!"

Olivia suddenly slumped forward, colliding into Jay.

"Olivia!' Jay screamed, 'Olivia!"

* * *

_They had gone to Jay's family cabin for the six day Labor Day weekend. Jay's dad had been there when they arrived and Jay was pissed. Olivia went to unpack her things and she could hear the father/son duo arguing. Mr Halstead was yelling at his son for bringing Olivia up there, mocking him for sharing a room with her if he didn't plan on doing anything with her. Jay didn't like that comment too much considering there was the sound of smashing glass. Olivia cringed as insult after insult got thrown at Jay._

_"You're a disgrace...You're nothing compared to Will...You'll never measure up to your brother...You're a shitty cop...You're little friend in there is trash...You're after my money...That little slut-"_

_More glass broke._

_"Don't talk about her like that! Better yet, don't fucking talk about her at all!" Jay roared._

_Jay's father snickered._

_"You're such a pussy." He laughed._

_"You know what Dad, just fucking leave. You're not even supposed to be here."_

_"It's my house, you prick!"_

_"It's not actually! Remember, mom's will declared it mine, or were you too drunk to remember that too. Sober up and get the fuck out. Olivia and I have company coming."_

_"Playing house, how cute."_

_"Fuck you."Jay spat._

_There was the sound of a slamming door and then silence. She waited a few minutes before going out into the kitchen. She sighed at all the glass on the floor and began cleaning it up._

_"Let me help you."_

_Olivia peered up to see Jay's Dad._

_"I'm more than capable." She sassed._

_"Must be,' he grunted, 'Kid's got some temper."_

_"Only when it comes to you."_

_The older man scoffed and Olivia stood up._

_"Why do you hate him so much? He is an amazing man who is loving, kind, and selfless. He is an incredibly outstanding detective, that you should be proud of! He has put his life on the line for this country and he does it every day for his city."_

_Patrick looked at her._

_"Sounds like something a girlfriend would say."_

_Olivia rolled her eyes._

_"I'm not that lucky."_

_Olivia grabbed two beers out of the fridge and headed to the back door. She turned around and gave her peace._

_"You don't have to like me Mr Halstead, but your son...your son doesn't deserve the hate you have towards him."_

_Olivia walked outside and went over by the fire pit where Jay was standing and handed him a beer. Jay put an arm around her and pulled her close._

_"How much did you hear?" He asked._

_"Don't worry about it."_

_Jay kissed the top of her head._

_"I __apologize for how disrespectful he was."_

_"You don't need to apologize for him, I think I put him in his place."_

_"Why am I not surprised." Jay smirked._

_"Well, I don't like how he spoke to you, so yeah I said something."_

_"He is who he is."_

_"And you're who you are. You shouldn't be forced to live in Will's shadow when you're perfect as you are."_

_"Livi-"_

_"I mean it Jay, everything he said about you is wrong. I am so lucky to have you in my life, everything about you...there's nothing in the world I would change about you."_

_"You know,' he sighed, 'You're the first person to ever make me feel like I'm good enough."_

_Olivia squeezed him._

_"Jay, you are more than good enough, you're everything perfectly imaginable."_

_They stood there, under the night sky, arms around each other in front the of the blazing fire for a while. Eventually Jay sat in one of the chairs and pulled Olivia onto his lap. Olivia settled into him, and Jay kept his arms around her._

* * *

Jay sat anxiously in the waiting room surrounded by the unit. Guilt was eating him alive. Did he do this, did he cause this? Fuck, he didn't even know what 'this' was. They's been waiting for three hours and not a word. They wouldn't even let Jay be with her. He just wanted to hold her hand, tell her everything was gonna be okay. The girls from the shop brought coffee and food and waited with him for a little bit. Around the fifth hour of waiting, even surrounded by everyone, Jay never felt so alone.


	24. Paris, Maybe Italy Too

_"Come dance with me."_

_Olivia stood with her hand outstretched to Jay, who was sitting down in a booth._

_"I'm good." He replied, sipping his beer._

_Olivia huffed in annoyance and shook her head._

_"I'm so glad you came out to a club to man the couch."_

_Jay, Atwater, Ruzek and Severide had flown to Vegas to meet Olivia and her friends there for the last few days of their week long, annual girls trip._

_"It's not my thing Livi!"_

_Severide put his drink down and put a friendly arm around her shoulders._

_"Come on girl, I got you."_

_She looked at Jay, hoping he would change his mind. When he didn't, Olivia's face changed to a disappointed sadness. She picked up the vodka bottle off the table and took a long swig before putting it down._

_"Yeah, whatever, let's go."_

_Arm still around her shoulders, Severide went to lead her away from the table, when she swung back around, picked up the bottle again and began chugging it._

_"Olivia, take it easy." Severide said._

_"Olivia." Jay warned._

_Olivia ignored them both and continued to down the bottle. Jay stood up fuming._

_"Olivia, that's enough!"_

_Olivia released the bottle with a pop and slammed it down on the table and looked Jay right in the eyes._

_"Fuck you Jay."_

_While dancing with Severide and the girls she kept glancing over at Jay. He was having a heated conversation with Ruzek and she caught him staring at her a couple times, which she just glared back at him. When she glanced back again, he was gone. Figuring he left, she pushed him out of her mind. Hands in her hair, eyes closed, she moved to the music. A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind and a face buried into the side of her neck. She knew who it was, the second the fingertips touched her skin._

_"Wanna get out of here?" He rasped._

_"Nope." She answered._

_"Come on, let's go walk the strip."_

_"I said no."_

_Little kisses peppered her neck._

_"I'm really sorry, please, come on, let's get out of here."_

_Olivia ignored his request._

_"You're dancing with me." She pointed out._

_"Only for you." He corrected._

_She turned in his arms and they moved to the music together._

_"I just want you to have fun." She said._

_"And I am." _

_Olivia rolled her eyes._

_"Get drunk, let loose, Jesus Jay, get out of cop mode for a minute."_

_Jay smirked at her._

_"What?"_

_"Come on, right now."_

_"Jay, what're you talking about?"_

_"We're leaving."_

_Jay told their friends they were leaving and pulled her away. Once outside, Jay took her hand in his own and began walking the strip._

_"Okay, what the hell is going on?"_

_"Shhhh." He shushed her._

_A bit down the street, Jay stopped and turned to her._

_"Close your eyes and keep them closed." He said._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You trust me?"_

_"Is that a serious question?"_

_For a split second, Jay looked nervous._

_"I...I wanna take you to Paris, maybe Italy too."_

_"Jay we can't just fly to Europe, that's absurd!"_

_"Please, just close your eyes."_

_"Jay Halstead, what're you up to." She said, closing her eyes._

_Jay brought her up to the top of the Paris hotel. When she opened her eyes, they were standing under the Eiffel tower and surrounded by a beautiful view of the city._

_"Jay this...this is...wow." She breathed out._

_A waiter came and handed them two glasses of champagne._

_"Congratulations, please enjoy endless champagne this evening, as a gift from us here at the hotel."_

_The waiter walked away and Olivia shot Jay a look._

_"I may have told a lie to get us up here." He said._

_"What did you say?"_

_Jay pulled her close._

_"They might think we're on our honeymoon." He shrugged._

_"Oh my god, Jay, you didn't!" She laughed._

_She buried her face into his chest and inhaled the wonderful scent that was Jay Halstead. They swayed to sweet music and drank champagne for what felt like hours. Eventually Jay pulled back and convinced her to leave and then they were off to "Italy". They headed down the the __Venetian Hotel and rode around in a gondola. Olivia sat in between Jay's legs with her back pressed into his chest and his arms around her, her head resting back onto his shoulder_

_"You sure know how to make a girl feel special."_

_"You are special."_

_"Smooth, Halstead, very smooth."_

_"It's the truth."_

_Olivia took a deep breath in and out._

_"You're gonna be one hell of a husband one day to some lucky girl."_

_Jay didn't respond. They floated around a bit longer and then walked to the Bellagio to watch the water fountain show. Olivia was mesmerized by the sight, when Jay grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Olivia turned to him and smiled._

_"One day could be today ya know." He said._

_"I'm not following."_

_"You said I'm gonna be one hell of a husband one day."_

_"Yeah? So?"_

_"You could be that girl."_

_Olivia looked at him as if he were crazy._

_"You have got to be wasted." She laughed._

_Jay didn't laugh along, he was stone cold serious._

_"Oh my god, you're not kidding."_

_"Let's do it, right here, right now. Let's get married Livi."_

_Olivia was shocked._

_"I...Jay...I"_

_Jay kissed her in the middle of her rambling._

_"Marry me, Olivia, please."_

_Suddenly, she could see her whole world in Jay's eyes and she wanted nothing more than forever with him._

_"Yes, yes, I'll marry you."_


	25. So Many Questions

Jay was pacing, he couldn't sit any longer. He had sent everyone home, he appreciated how much everyone cared but it was like they were all hovering, and Jay didn't need any added stress. Every time he asked for an update, he was given the same run around: 'Some one will be out shortly'. Jay was so sick of hearing the same fucking answer.

"Is there any update on Olivia Halst- uh McKnight, Olivia McKnight?"

"Someone will be with you shortly."

Jay slammed his hands on the desk out of anger.

"I just...I just want to know what's going on with my wife!" He shouted.

"Jay." came from behind him.

Spinning at the sound of his name, there was Connor Rhodes.

"Conor! What's going on? Is she okay? Where is she?"

Connor ushered him over to sit on some chairs.

"Look, Jay-"

"No...no,no,no, man, don't say it."

Jay's breathing picked up and he could feel the panic slipping in.

"Calm down, it's alright, she's okay."

"Oh thank God." He breathed out.

"Problem is, we don't know what happened. We've ran every test possible, she's been seen by every Nuro doctor on sight and on call, and we've got nothing. Right now, we can only blame it on stress."

"Is she awake? Can I see her?"

"Yeah, I'll take you up. She's been crying since she came to, she won't speak to any of us."

Connor brought Jay upstairs and he rushed into her room and right to her side. Jay reached for her hand and she pulled away. She had that same look on her face that she did when she woke up and didn't remember him.

"Olivia, it's me, Jay, remember?"

She nodded numbly.

"Good, that's good. Do you...do you remember us and who we are?"

She nodded again.

"Olivia, baby, I need you to talk to me."

"You never told me."

Her voice was so quiet, Jay only knew she said something because her lips moved.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She cried.

"Tell you what?"

"That we're married!"

Shocked, Jay sank back into his chair.

"How-When..." He trailed off.

"It was the most vivid memory to come back yet."

"Olivia, I-"

"How could you not tell me? After everything?" Her voice was filled with hurt.

"How was I supposed to Liv! You didn't remember me or any of our memories together. How was I supposed to tell you that we got married in Vegas, but we didn't tell anyone. That we thought about getting it annulled but for some reason, neither of us could sign those stupid papers. That we were married but lived like we weren't. Tell me, how was I supposed to tell you without sounding like a fucking maniac?"

Olivia sniffed.

"I asked you and you lied to me."

"Jesus Livi-"

"I came to you, flat out asked you to be honest and you fucking lied to my face Jay."

"Livi-"

"How could you!"

"Livi, please."

"What if we never worked out? What if I never came back to you? Then what Jay?"

"I couldn't force you into what we had before."

"I deserved to know."

"You're right, and I'm sorry."

"I can't believe this." She said, shaking her head.

Jay reached for her hand again.

"Ask me anything, and I'll tell you the truth."

"Cause that worked out so well the first time." She scoffed.

"I swear to it this time."

Olivia picked at her nails, and her bottom lip quivered.

"I have so many questions."

Her tone was different. Soft, timid, almost as if she were afraid.

"And I have answers for all of them."

She gnawed at her bottom lip.

"When did we get married?"

"Couple months before the incident."

"Were we dating?"

"No, but we were always naturally drawn to one another, no matter what we were doing."

"So we just up and got married?"

"Pretty much, and there was some alcohol involved."

"Do...do you regret it?"

"No, God no! Not for one second. It's the best decision I've ever made."

"What made you ask me?"

Jay looked away.

"You promised the truth, Jay."

"I'm gonna sound so stupid and selfish.' He huffed, ' That night you told me that I would be some husband one day and it made me think. I'd be someones husband and you'd be someones wife. Things between us would be different. We'd have to be cautious and mindful of how we acted and what we said around each other. That's not us Livi, we're naturally drawn to one another. That night, under the Eiffel Tower, on the gondolas, in front of the fountains, I knew that there was never going to be anyone for me but you, and I didn't want a life or future without how we live it."

Olivia sat, stunned.

"Wow." She whispered.

"Why'd you say yes?" He asked.

"That moment seems so clear. At first I thought you were joking and drunk. But your eyes, they looked so different, there was such a clarity to them. The same way they looked when you proposed on New Years Eve. I saw my whole life, my whole world in your eyes, and suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be yours forever."

Jay grabbed her hand.

"You are everything to me, I need you to know that Livi. My life means nothing without you."

"What if, when I forgot everything, I never came back to you?"

"Then I'd have to force myself to let you got and have to live without you somehow."

"You wouldn't have told me?"

Jay shook his head in shame.

"As much as I would want to, I don't think I could've. You can't love someone by being told, it's something you've got to feel."

Olivia wiped her face.

"I...I need you to leave."

"What- no- Olivia-"

"Please go Jay."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I just want to be alone! I have so much to take in and you being here is just too much."

Olivia laid down and turned away from him. Filled with hurt, Jay stood up and walked out of her room. He didn't leave, he wasn't going to. So instead, he sat on the floor outside her down and fell asleep. He'd stay there, no matter how long, until she was ready.


	26. Its Like Starting Over

_"Did you get ice for the coolers?"_

_"Yep."_

_"Do we have enough beer?"_

_"To last us for days."_

_"Yeah, but it's all different kinds right? I know everyone likes different kinds."_

_"There's four large coolers filled to the brim with beer for 20 people Olivia."_

_"You set up the sternos and racks, right? Because as soon as the food comes-"_

_"Livi, for the love of god, unclench a little bit."_

_Olivia glared at Jay. _

_"The Giants/Bears and Islander/Hawkes games are both on today. This is not a normal football or hockey Sunday Jay! Al our friends are coming, I want to make sure we have plenty of everything!"_

_"Little high strung today, are we?"_

_"You're not funny. I have to re-clean the house."_

_Jay walked over and wrapped her in a hug. She tried to push herself away and Jay held onto her tightly. _

_"You need to take a breathe. Everything is fine, and everything will be fine. You're acting like this is the first time we've ever had a Sunday with everyone over."_

_"We've never done it at my place with both of our friends. It's always been your apartment with your friends."_

_"So that's what this is about." He said with a smirk._

_"This isn't funny Jay, I'm truly freaking out."_

_"Babe, take a breath. Whatever happens, happens. I've got your back no matter what."_

Olivia jolted awake, her heart racing and her head pounding. The sun was waking the city for another day. Olivia caught sight of feet laying on the floor outside her door. Olivia got out of bed, stepped over the feet and walked over to the nurses station.

"What time he'd get here this morning?" She asked the older nurse.

"Oh hunny, he never left. Poor boy slept on the floor all night. Refused any pillows, blankets or a cot."

"He- he stayed, all night?"

"Yep, seemed pretty upset. Y'all have a fight or something?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Olivia walked over to Jay and knelt down to nudge him awake. He slowly blinked his eyes open and glanced around at his surroundings to remember where he was.

"I get to leave soon, are you taking me home or should I call one of the girls?"

"Of course I'm taking you home. Why would you think otherwise?"

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Jay."

Jay scrambled up from the floor to follow her into the room.

"Look, Livi, I know you're mad-"

Olivia whipped around.

"Mad? No I'm not mad. I'm disappointed and hurt."

"I never meant-"

"But you did! You're the one person, the one fucking person, out of everyone that I trust the most. You're the one who's suppose to be the most honest with me and you lied. Everyone in my fucking life has been lying to me since I woke up! Do you have any god damn idea how broken and betrayed that makes me feel!" She yelled.

Jay stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"No one knew."

Olivia scoffed.

"Really Jay, wow, just keep on lying!"

"It's the truth okay! We didn't tell anyone, we were both a little freaked out the next morning. We just played it off like it never happened, went back to living our lives. You think I didn't want to tell anyone? I wanted to tell every person who looked my way, that I married the girl of my dreams."

"Why didn't we get divorced?"

"Neither of us could seem to sign the papers,' he shrugged, ' I don't know, maybe I was being selfish but the second I kissed your lips to seal our vows, I knew there was no one else for me but you."

Sad and shocked, Olivia sat on the edge of the bed.

"Was it a nice wedding?" She asked with a sad pout and lips trembling.

Jay gave her a kind smile and sat next to her.

"Elvis was a classy touch."

Olivia bumped his shoulder.

"Don't be a dick."

Jay put his hands up in defense.

"I have pictures and videos on my phone you can look at when we get home, if you want."

"I'd like that."

The second they walked through the front door of their house, James had clung to her. He was to young to truly understand what had happened. It was clear her not being there for a day and the night without any explaination had scared him and she never wanted that. She reassured him over and over that she wasn't going anywhere. And he screamed bloody murder when Jay took him out of their bed to lay him in his own to sleep. Olivia said to leave him in their bed, but Jay refused, they had their own stuff to work out.

"Carnivalé rouge for you, beer for me." Jay said, walking back into the bedroom.

"Thank you." She said, taking her glass.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Yeah, yeah I think I do."

"Okay, then let's do this."

_"So tell me, how does it feel to be Mrs. Jay Halstead?"_

_Jay was recording them as they walked down the Vegas strip. His arm was around her shoulders and they were laughing non stop. _

_"I feel like the luckiest girl alive!" She beamed. _

_"Well then that makes me the luckiest man alive."_

_Jay leaned down to kiss her. _

"Olivia!" Jay shouted.

"Huh, what?"

"You spaced out on me. I asked if you planned on hitting play."

"Oh, um ya know what? I think I'll wait till tomorrow to watch these."

"You okay, are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired, it's been too long of a day."


	27. I do

***couple quick things: first I hope you guys are enjoying the story as much as I do writing for the characters. Also with the next two weeks being holiday season, I'm going to try my best to update. Also, just a reminder anything written in**_ italics _**is/are flashbacks of Olivias memories. Enjoy and don't forget to review!* **

_Jay couldn't believe they were actually doing this. They were really getting married. One of the people working at the Elvis chapel had tried to convince them into wearing the suits and bridal gowns there, but Jay wasn't letting that happen. He may have been heavily buzzed but he was sober enough not to let the two of them wear any of the corny stuff they had. Olivia, on the other hand, pouted when Jay had said no to all that. When she asked for the veil and bouquet with wide loving eyes, Jay couldn't deny her that. Music started to play and there she was, walking towards him with that beautiful smile of hers. As she got closer, Jay offered his hand to her. _

_"Last chance to run." He said. _

_"I wouldn't dream of it." She smiled. _

_They stood facing each other and 'Elvis' began. _

_"We all know the drill. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they date, they fall in love, they go to Vegas and decided to get hitched in a spur of the moment wedding. Any vows you wanna say, Jay you start."_

_Jay let out a breath to release his nerves. _

_"Oh, uh that was unexpected but okay. Livi, I can't believe we're here, doing this. But why not right? Everything already thinks we're together anyways. I want you to know, you mean everything to me. You're my sun, the moon and the stars. I will do everything I ever can do to keep you happy, keep you protected like a husband should, to make you feel loved everyday and give you the world because you deserve nothing less. I'll be the best husband I can possibly be for you. I love you Olivia and I always will."_

_Olivia looked at him with her eyes filled with tears and doing her very best not to cry. How has she gotten so lucky. _

_"Olivia, your turn."_

_Olivia opened and closed her mouth a few times and jay leaned in close to her. _

_"Hey, we don't have to do this Livi."_

_"No,no,no I'm good, I just needed a second."_

_Jay straightened back up. Olivia cleared her throat and blew out a nervous breath of her own. _

_"How do I top that, right?!' She chuckled, 'I can't believe we're doing this either, especially because I'm such a control freak and zero of this was planned. But looking at you right now, I've realized marriage isn't about some elaborate party or ceremony, which by the way we better have when we get home, but its about the person you're starting this new journey with. And my god, Jay, I'm glad it's you. I vow to always be a pain in the ass, to agree to disagree, to support you, to always love you more in every moment of everyday. I will always, no matter what, have your six. Come hell or high water, Halstead, I'll always be in your corner."_

_Jay squeezed her hands and mouthed 'I love you' and Olivia mouthed back 'I love you more'._

_"Olivia, do you take Jay to be your husband, in sickness and in health, good times and in bad, for as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do." She smiled. _

_"And Jay, do you take Olivia to be your wife, in sickness and in health, good times and bad, for as long as you both shall live?"_

_"I do."_

_"Well then, by the power vested in me, by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You are now officially Mr.Mrs. Halstead. Jay, you may kiss your bride."_

Olivia jolted awake to silence and an empty bed. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was 9:30am. She was up every morning at 7am on the dot, even on her days off. Sliding on her slippers, she headed down to the kitchen. Jay was there with James making breakfast and terribly singing along to the Backstreet Boys.

"Tell me why..."

Jay held out his spatula that he was using, as a pretend microphone to James.

"Ain't nuffin but a heart ache."

"Again James, tell me why..."

"Ain't nuffin but mistake..."

"Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way."

Jay picked up James and playfully danced around the kitchen and spun James in circles. James' giggles filled the room and Olivia couldn't help but smile herself. She stood against the doorframe and watched the two of them for a bit, in awe that not only was Jay the father to their adopted son, but he was her husband. Jay held onto James and helped him make eggs.

"Easy with the eggs James."

"We has to mix them daddy."

"It's 'have' buddy. We 'have to mix them', but we're not. Mommy doesn't like them scrambled. Do you remember what cousin Owie calls them?"

"Noooo." James smirked.

"Hmmm, I think you do." Jay teased.

James giggled.

"Mommy likes drippy eggs!" He said, triumphantly.

"See, I knew you knew it."

"Thems is gross daddy." He said with a face.

"Don't tell your mother that."

Deciding she was done watching, she quietly walked into the kitchen.

"What's going on here?"

Both boys spun to face her and smiled.

"We's making breakfast mommy."

Jay put James down and he ran to Olivia who scooped him up and held him close.

"What's the special occasion?"

"It's Sunday." Jay said.

"Right.' Olivia put James down, 'Why don't you go play with your toys for a bit."

"Okay mommy."

James didn't need to be told twice, as he sprinted from the kitchen. Olivia made a cup of coffee and went to leave the kitchen as well.

"Hold up, where you going?" Jay asked, stopping her.

"I'm not hungry. Coffee is good enough for me."

"Olivia, don't be like that."

"I'm not being like anything. I'm still trying to process all this."

Jay turned off the stove.

"Crazy, huh?"

"To say the least. I'm gonna go shower."

"I'll come with you."

Olivia spun around and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You most certainly will not. You're gonna clean up my kitchen and watch our son."

"Ohhhh, sassy Olivia is my favorite."


	28. Secrecy

"I'm sorry, you're what?!" Diana blurted out.

Olivia, Diana, Michelle and Yvonne were sitting around after work, hanging out and doing each others color. Olivia didn't plan on saying anything, since her and Jay agreed it'd be best to not say anything, but she couldn't help it. She needed to vent, and these girls had become her sisters.

"Just don't say anything, this stays between us. No one knew, just Jay and I."

"When did it happen?" Michelle asked.

"That time the guys flew down and met us in Vegas. Jay and I left that club-"

"I remember that,' Yvonne interupted, 'I was honestly convinced you were both drunk and just left to finally fuck each other."

"Nope, we went and got married."

"How'd it happen?" Diana asked.

"We left the club, we went to the Paris hotel and had champagne under the Eiffel Tower, rode the gondolas at the Venetian hotel, watched the fountain show at the Bellagio. At some point during the night I made a comment that he would make a damn good husband some day to some very lucky girl, and I guess it got to him and got him thinking. He started to realize how things would have to be different for us, how we acted, how or when we hung out, I don't really know, but then he asked me to marry him."

The girls looked at her as if she were crazy.

"And you just said yes."

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"How come you never wear rings?"

"They were plain silver bands. My band is in the finger holes of one of my scissors and Jay's is in his badge holder between the badge and the leather."

"Okay, come on, that's freaking adorable." Michelle said.

"How are you handling all this?" Diana asked.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders.

"At first I was so upset and hurt that he never told me. I flat out asked him what our relationship was and he said just friends. He lied right to my face, for over a year. I felt so stupid."

"And now?"

"I feel…there's almost this sort of happiness about all of it, a giddiness. Like I'm really a Halstead." Olivia beamed.

"So now what about the wedding?"

"There'll still be a wedding. No one knows and we plan to keep it that way."

* * *

"You told the girls! Livi, they're gonna tell everyone!"

"No they won't, They swore to secrecy."

Jay shot her a look.

"That's not comforting, like at all."

Olivia huffed.

"I needed to vent, Jay, I needed to tell someone, to talk to someone!"

"Uh, how about, oh I don't know, your husband?!"

Olivia smiled widely.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Jay asked.

"You're my husband." She giggled.

"According to the state if Nevada."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him.

"I have to get home and iron all our clothes for tomorrow."

"You could stay and we could have locker room sex."

Olivia laughed.

"Not while our son is upstairs, no doubt causing some sort of havoc much like his father."

"Come on Livi, we haven't had sex since James came home."

"That happens when you have young kids. Maybe the easter bunny will bring it for you' she joked, ' Besides, I didn't hear you complaining this morning when I was on my knees." She quipped.

Jay could feel himself growing at the thought of this mornings events. She had been waiting for him on the bed when he got out of the shower. After a lot of touching and kissing, Olivia dropped to her knees and pleased him.

"James will be fine for a few more minutes. He's with his aunts and uncles in a building full of police."

Jay lifted her up and pinned her against the lockers.

"We'll have to be quick."

Quick it was. Neither could deny the fact that the thought of them possibly getting caught at any second was a rush. Jay always secretly fantasized about having a quickie in the locker room. They walked back upstairs holding hands. James was sitting at Jay's desk, focused on drawing a picture.

"Whatcha drawing little man?" Jay asked.

"Two police opicers, daddy, me and you. Look!"

Olivia scooped the little boy out of the chair.

"You and Daddy, huh?"

"Yup, I'm gonna be just like Daddy, mommy."

Jay could see Olivia's hesitance.

"How about you just focus on helping Mommy get ready for tomorrow."

James' face lit up.

"We's color eggs?"

"I'll try and be home in time. But you listen to your mama, you hear me?"

James nodded.

"Good,' he kissed them both, 'I love you both, so much."

"I love you too. Be safe, come home to us."

"Always."

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Olivia woke and Jay's side of the bed was empty. Intelligence caught a case and from the sound of Jay's voice when she spoke to him, it wasn't good. Jay had missed dinner, coloring eggs, bath time and bed time, which James was upset about but was trying to control himself and be good like Jay had asked him to. Olivia explained that Jay was helping people who needed it, because that's what good police do.

Realizing she fell asleep without hiding the eggs and put out the baskets, she got out of bed and went downstairs. She jumped and let out a gasp in fright when she saw Jay sitting on the couch with a blank look on his face and an empty glass in his hand. Jay had, had episodes like this before. Tough cases usually did it.

"Jay?" She whispered softly, kneeling in front of him, 'Jay, can you hear me?' She placed her hands gently on his knees. 'Jay, I need you to come back to me."

Jay's gaze shifted to her and she smiled at him.

"That's right handsome, show me those beautiful blue eyes."

She slowly stood before straddling his lap tp face him. She put his arms around her waist and then draped her arms around his neck, putting her forehead against his.

"Livi?"

"Yeah baby, it's me."

"It was so bad,' his eyes filled with tears, 'Livi, it was so bad."

Olivia held him in a tight hug, her head on top of his and her hands softly playing with the hairs at the base of his head.

"I know Jay, I know. It's okay, it's all over." She soothed.

jay never talked about the cases with her. He never wanted her to know hoe terrible the world could really be. So she did the only thing she could…be there for him, whatever he needed.

"Go up to bed,' she said, ' i'll be up in a few."

"I'll wait for you."

"Jay go, I'm gonna hide the eggs quickly for James and i'll be there in a minute."

jay leaned forward to kiss her.

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too."


	29. Bunny

Tiny little fingers danced around Jay's face, bringing him out of his restless slumber. He knew it was so one other than James, and even though he was now wide awake, Jay still laid there with his eyes closed.

"Daddy's face is scratchy, Mommy." The little boy commented.

"James!' Olivia whisper yelled, 'Leave Daddy alone. He needs his rest, he got home very late last night."

"But I like it mommy,' he giggled,' it tickles."

James continued to touch Jay's face and giggle.

"Wanna know a secret James?"

"Uh-huh." He answered, curiously.

"Mommy loves it too."

Jay made a mental note of that, and not to shave anytime soon. James continued to giggle and play with Jay's beard and poke his face.

"Okay James that's enough, please leave Daddy alone. He really needs his rest and I don't want you waking him."

The little boy huffed.

"But Mama,' he whined,' I wanna see what the bunny brought us!"

"Final warning James! You can snuggle in bed with Daddy and I, but you will not wake him. Am I clear?"

Before James could answer, Jay jumped up with a roar scaring both Olivia and James, and grabbed James to tickle him. James' laughter filled the room, and Jay couldn't believe how perfect his mornings now were. Olivia climbed out of bed and shook her head at the two of them.

"Mommy, save me!" James laughed out.

Olivia tied her robe around her waist.

"You wanted to wake the beast James, you got him."

Jay reached an arm out to her.

"Come love me." He said.

"I have to get breakfast started."

"Baaabbbeeee, I need my morning kiss. Your man needs some love."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh does he?"

"Mmh-hmm." He hummed.

Olivia knelt on the bed and leaned over to kiss Jay. Jay put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Olivia, pulling back too quickly for his liking.

"Nuh uh, little more." He said.

"Maybe later."

* * *

After a morning of finding eggs and opening easter baskets, James napped while Olivia and Jay got ready and then they made their way to Hanks. James was running around Hank's house, playing with all the guys from the unit. They'd all had dinner and James opened his presents from his aunt and uncles 'easter bunny'. The guys kept hiding eggs to James to find, which kept him happy. Jay came over and poured more wine into her glass and kissed her forehead.

"Oh man, you're so whipped Halstead." Ruzek said.

"Fuck off, Ruz."

"Mouth!" James pipped up.

"Sorry buddy, Uncle Adam is being a jerk."

James looked from Adam to Jay back to Adam.

"Yea, you're a real tool bag!" James said with a scowl.

Olivia almost spit out her wine.

"James! That was super inappropriate! Say sorry to Uncle Adam, right now."

James pouted.

"Sorry Mama, sorry Uncle Adam."

"All good little dude. I'm actually kinda proud you used it the right way." Adam winked.

Olivia shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"So James,' Hank said, 'What did the Easter bunny bring you?"

James ran over to sit on Hanks lap.

"I got hot wheels stuff, so much toy story thing, and oh oh oh! I got police jammies!,' he said excitedly, 'now I look just like Daddy!"

"Well, the easter bunny must've thought you really deserved all that."

James climbed down from Hank and walked over to Jay while rubbing his eyes and lifting his arms.

"Can we's please puts my jammies on Daddy?"

Jay lifted him off the floor.

"Sure buddy, come on."

* * *

Olivia was curled up in bed with her eyes closed and Jay put James to bed. Eventually, Jay climbed into bed, pulling her closer, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Is this your way of asking the easter bunny for your special present?"

Jay smirked against her skin.

"No, actually, I would just like to lay here with my wife."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm." He sighed contently.

"Well then I guess now is the perfect time time to tell toy, that I agree, I think we should move up the wedding to this September."

"You really mean it?!"

"Yeah, I mean, why wait any longer."

Jay kissed the side of her neck.

"I fucking love you, baby."


	30. Four And A Half Months

"Four and a half months? You're really gonna get married in four and a half months?" Will asked.

Jay and Will met up for lunch and Jay wanted to tell his brother in person that the date of the wedding had been moved up. Jay thought his brother would be a bit more excited for him, now he wasn't so sure.

"Well, yeah,' Jay shrugged. 'We just want to be married. Why wait so long? I mean for what reason? All we really need is each other and our family around us."

"And the venue is okay with this? Did you even check if the day was open? What if it's not, then you're going to lose all that money that was put down for a deposit-"

"Will, chill. You're starting to sound like my wife when she rambles." Jay laughed.

"Future wife, Jay, you're not married yet."

"Right,' Jay internally rolled his eyes, 'Sorry."

Will took a sip of his water.

"So, then where or what are we doing for a bachelor party?"

Jay put down his sandwich. He hadn't really thought about it.

"Do I have to have one?"

"What? Of course you do! Why wouldn't you want one? Getting wasted, get a few strippers, get a little wild."

"No strippers, absolutely not."

"Oh come on, what Olivia doesn't know won't hurt."

"It's not like that, I don't think she'd care. It's more me, I don't want that, at all, it's a hard no."

"Why must you make everything so difficult."

* * *

Jay came back down from upstairs after putting James to bed and reading him a story. Olivia was sat at the island, paperwork all in front of her.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Paperwork for the salon, and paperwork for the wedding."

Jay kissed the side of her head.

"How can I help?"

Olivia pursed her lips.

"You could help distract me from all this." She said biting her bottom lip.

"I can easily do that."

Jay captured her lips with his own and lifted her off the chair and pinned her to the wall nearest them. His hands roamed under her shirt and her hands played with the hair at the base of his hairline, something that drove him slightly mad.

"We should take this upstairs." She said.

"And run this risk of waking James? You're not the quietest."

Olivia nipped at his neck.

"I can't help it. The way you pound into me how am I suppose to be quiet?"

"The couch will do just fine.

Jay laid Olivia down on the couch and hovered over her, just looking at her.

"You okay?" She asked.

Jay looked at her, and couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Even after a full work day, running around after their son, and taking care of a million other things, here she was looking as beautiful as ever. Hair fanned out around her, face slightly rosy, and eyes filled with lust and love…all for him. They hadn't had sex since she woke up knowing the truth about their relationship status. It wasn't so much that they hadn't wanted too, it was more like having a toddler could be a bit of a cockblock, but non the less they loved their son.

"Jay, are you with me?"

"Yeah, it's just…this is the first time we're having sex since you found out that we're married."

She gave him a puzzled look.

"I feel like I'm missing something here."

"I don't know maybe I'm having one of those moments you always have."

Olivia playfully scoffed and shoved his shoulder.

"A moment, while your half naked wife is under you waiting for you to ravage me?"

"And there's the Olivia I know and love."

"Never going anywhere babes. Now let's do this before James wakes."

* * *

When Olivia woke, she was in bed wrapped up in the comforter, and a hot cup of coffee on night table on her side of the bed. Jay wasn't in bed with her, which he should've been since he was off today. She scooped up his bears hoodie that was discarded on the floor and put it on with a pair of leggings. Down the hallway, she found Jay in James' room. He was shirtless and in a pair of sweats, James in the same attire as his father, and Olivia smiled at them twinning. Jay was sitting in the self rocking recliner chair with James huddled into his chest, both of them sleeping silently. Olivia decided to let them be. Jay had been working a lot recently and really hadn't been spending the quality time he'd wanted with James, plus the scene in front of her was too cute to disturb.

Olivia made her way down into the kitchen and continued working on all the paperwork she had started last night. All the major stuff for the wedding was done. Now it was just finalizing the menu, the head count, final fittings, finalizing picture spots, when an idea popped into Olivia's mind. With a smirk she quickly logged onto amazon, and made the purchases she needed, and was having it sent to Yvonne's so Jay wouldn't see it. The countdown was officially on for the McKnight/Halstead wedding…if you could really call it that.

An hour later Olivia headed back upstairs to check on her two boys, who happened to still be fast asleep in the same position she had last seen them. James idolized Jay in every way possible. Clearly he was the favorite parent, badass cop, handsome, strong, a good man all around. There was no one else she'd rather her son love more. She thought about their future children. They already had their first son, maybe their second child would be a girl. Oh man, she'd have James and Jay wrapped around her little fingers. And when she got older, she'd be screwed with how protective they'd be over her but she'd love it as much as she'd complain about it. Maybe it's be another boy, another splitting image of Jay. Great, now the family would have three heartthrobs. She was sure their kids would all look like Jay, or at least she wanted the to mostly look like him. His eyes, his smile, his mannerisms. They'd have her sarcasm for sure.

Jay stirred and opened his eyes, and smiled at Olivia. He gently stood up and laid James in his crib, which she made a mental note that it was time to get him a bed.

"Good morning baby." He said.

"Morning handsome."

"Been awake long?"

"Bout an hour. I just came to check on you both, and I got lost in my thoughts."

"Oh, do tell."

"Just thinking about future little Halsteads."

"Is that so?"

"Mhm, after the wedding I'd like to really start trying. I want the kids close in age."

"I think I like that idea."


	31. Sick Germs

James has not been sleeping through the night lately, which meant Olivia and Jay weren't sleeping either, but Olivia tried fo make jay stay in bed and sleep most of the time, so she would constantly get up. Jay wasn't having it. Parenting was a 50/50 gig. Olivia wanted Jay to sleep because she knew how exhausted he was at the end of shift. James' tiny whimpers came over the montioner as he cries for Jay. Olivia got out of bed and Jay stopped her.

"I got him babe." Jay said.

"You just got off a double shift and you have an early shift in a few hours. You're staying in bed."

Jay laid back down and Olivia went into James' room. She picked him up and rocked him back and forth.

"It's okay baby, mommy's got you. Calm down, it's alright."

"Where's daddy?" He cries.

"He's sleeping. He had a very long day catching the bad guys."

"I haven't seen him in months momma."

Olivia chuckled.

"It's been two days, at most silly goose. Maybe if you go to sleep now, I'll wake you up early so you can see daddy."

"Will you tell him I loves him?"

"I'm sure he knows, but ill tell him."

Olivia tucked James back in and went to her room, where she crawled back into bed next to Jay.

"Great, our son hates me." Jay groaned.

"Clearly he doesn't hate you."

"He thinks I've been gone for months!"

"Jay, he's 3 1/2, he has no sense of time."

"I'm telling Voight I need time off"

"No, you're not."

"Fine. Then I'm leaving work early to pick him up from day care."

"Okay, that's a little better."

_Olivia was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She had gone to Med after being sick for a almost a week, turns out she had the flu. According to Will, he would only allow her to go home if he knew someone would be with her to keep an eye on her. And she knew exactly who Will wanted it to be. She wanted to go home but she didn't want to bother Jay. _

_"Will, please, I'm begging you. I'll go right home and do nothing."_

_"Are you kidding? You sound just like Jay does."_

_"I don't need a babysitter!"_

_"Now that was exactly what Jay would say."_

_It took her 30 minutes to call him. He was at work and the moment he hear her say she was at Med, he was frantically yelling to Voight that he has to go. She stayed on the phone with him as he drove, telling him that she was okay and even scolding him for driving with the lights and sirens on. When he ran into her room at Med, she had never seen him in such a panicked state. _

_"You're okay right?! Please tell me you're okay."_

_"Jay, calm down. I'm okay. It's just the flu and Will wouldn't let me leave unless you picked me up."_

_"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to here in the first place? I would've been here with you."_

_"For that exact reason. You wouldn't have gone to work, you would've hovered-"_

_"I don't hover." He scoffed._

_"You do."_

_"Whatever." He mumbled with fake annoyance. _

_Olivia fake poured and reached her hand out to him. _

_"Now that you're here, will you lay with me and keep me warm?"_

_"Nope, don't want you to think I'm hovering."_

_"This is one of those times where I'll let it slide."_

_After much arguing, they ended up at Jays apartment. All Olivia wanted to do was go home and rest. Jays excuse was that since her house was filled with flu germs, it needed a good cleaning or she'd never get better. It wasn't totally a bad excuse, but still. _

_"Maybe I should be wearing a mask or you should. Ya know, just to be safe." She joked._

_"My immune system is pretty strong. You're not gonna get me sick."_

_Jay helped her into his bed. He gave her a sweatshirt to put on and put the blanket over her. _

_"I'm gonna get you some soup, tea, water and Gatorade."_

_"I really don't need all that."_

_"Yes you do. You need to eat and stay hydrated."_

_She sighed. _

_"You know what I could use?" She asked. _

_"What?" He replied. _

_"You."_

_"Come again?" He asked, his voice slightly higher than normal. _

_"Get your mind out of the gutter Halstead. I could use a snuggle cuddle sesh. Laying in bed curled up to you, that's the best feeling in the world."_

_Jay put a bottle of water and a bottle of Gatorade on the night table and climbed into bed next to her. He pulled her into him and she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes. _

_"That's it babygirl, get some rest."_

_When she woke hours later, Jay was our cold still tangled up with her. His face was flushed and he was sweating bullets. Olivia got up to make them each a bowl of soup before gently waking him. _

_"Come on Mr. I don't get sick, wake up."_

_Jay let out a groan. _

_"What's happening?" _

_"Seems like you've come down with the flu as well."_

_"How?"_

_"You've caught my sick germs."_

_"That fast?"_

_Olivia chuckled and brought her hand to his forehead to check his temperature. _

_"We spend a lot of time together, I'm sure it's been brewing to come out. You've definitely got a fever. I'm gonna make you some tea."_

_"Nooooo." He groaned, reaching for her. _

_"Yes, and I'm texting Voight from your phone and telling him you need a few days off."_

_Jay lazily turned his head towards her and he looked terrible. _

_"I thought I looked bad, but you look like shit. Come on, out of those sweaty clothes."_

_Jay protested and Olivia pulled him to sit up. _

_"Livi..."_

_"I know blue eyes, come on."_

_As terrible as she felt, Jay was clearly much worse. She made sure to keep a cold cloth on his forehead to help with the fever. While Jay was always loving towards her, sick Jay was super touchy feely, mushy, cuddly and snuggly. That was the side of Jay she'd never get enough of. _


	32. Daddy Day Care

Jay had been up for three hours before James had woken up. Olivia has left for work super early to work a wedding and was hoping to be home by late afternoon. Jay contently sat out back in the yard having a cup of coffee, enjoying the silence and the sound of nature. The idea of bringing James up to the cabin popped into his head and he made a mental note to ask Olivia if she was cool with the three of them going up there next weekend. James would love it up there. Now that it was warmer, there was so many outdoorsy things they could do together.

The sound of James calling for his parents crackled through the baby monitor and Jay headed inside. He pulled some ingredients out of the fridge to make breakfast and then headed up to his sons room.

"Good morning buddy." Jay said, walking into the room.

James' face lit up with a smile.

"Hi daddy!"

Jay lifted him out of his crib, which seemed to be too small and made another mental note to talk to Olivia about getting him a big boy bed. Jay placed James on his hip and James snuggles into his fathers embrace.

"Let's go make some Sunday breakfast."

Getting to the kitchen, James looked around before looking up at Jay.

"Mommy too?"

"Mommy's at work today."

"It's Sunday."

"I know, hopefully she won't be home too late. But for now it's just me and you."

Jay and James made pancakes and eggs and they James had a meltdown and refused to eat the pancakes because they didn't taste like Olivia's. After a 40 minute battle over pancakes, Jay ended up making waffles, which again did not taste like Olivia's and James had another fit. Another 30 minutes of screaming and Jay trying to soothe his son, James eventually agreed to eat the waffles. But then Jay cut the waffles in pieces not strips... cue tantrum number three. Jay took a breath and replaced the pieces of waffles with strip of waffles and a small cup of syrup for James to dip them into. 2 seconds... 2 seconds was all it took for James to throw the syrup al over the kitchen while Jay had his back turned. Jay was convinced today would be one that would test him.

After another tantrum about taking a bath, jay ended up in the shower with James. James wanted to wash jay's hair which ended up with James getting shampoo in Jay's eyes. Frustrated, Jay quickly soaped down and rinsed James and got out of the shower. Getting dressed was another hassle and at that point Jay didn't care and let James run around in his underwear and an iron man mask.

By the time Olivia got home around 6:30 Jay was on his last frazzled nerve. Olivia walked in to James running around the house screaming, in his underwear followed by Jay, in only his underwear as well, chasing James around, begging him to come sit down for dinner. Seeing his mother, James stopped in his tracks and smiled up at her.

"Hi mommy."

"Hi baby, where are your clothes?"

Before James could answer Jay came running around the corner, and was caught off guard at the sight of Olivia and slipped and fell hard on his ass.

"Mother fucker." He swore.

"Language!" James said, faking to be appalled.

Olivia chuckled and put James down.

"Go put pants on, now James."

James ran off and Olivia walked over to jay, offering a hand to help him up.

"Coming home to see you in nothing but boxers is a delicious sight Mr. Halstead, if only our son wasn't awake," she said, biting her lip.

"Trust me, the day would be much easier if he were asleep." Jay muttered.

"Tough day?" She asked, pecking his lips.

Jay locked his arms around her.

"Beyond tough."

"Well Daddy Day Care, you're off the clock. Mommy's home now."

James came running back, with pants on, screeching and crashed into Olivia's legs.

"James, that's enough. Settle down, before you go to bed without dinner."

An hour and a half later, James was settled in his crib and Jay and Olivia were both sitting out back on the swinging loveseat, each with a drink.

"Still want more kids." Olivia joked.

"I do actually, James will be a bit older and he'll want to help out."

Olivia let out a content sigh and snuggled into Jay's side.

"If that's what you believe babe."

Jay kissed the top of her head.

"So, two things I wanna run by you." He said.

"Okay, what's up?"

"I think it's time we put James into a bed. He's outgrown the crib and I was thinking next weekend we can take a mini family vacation up to the cabin."

"I think a weekend away sounds lovely and do we have to get him a bed? I don't want my baby growing up so fast." She laughed at the last comment.

"He'll be climbing out of the crib in no time."

"Crib or bed, he'll be getting up to come into our room."

"Then we'll just have to keep the door locked."

"We will not Jay."

"I don't want our son walking in on use having sex Livi."

"He's not even gonna know any better."

"He better not. If he starts asking questions, that's on you."

Olivia sat up and straddled his lap.

"What do you say to going up to bed early?"

"That's a fuck yes."

Jay lifted her up and ran up to their bedroom.


	33. Future Golf Star

**hi all, sorry i havent updated in so long. i suck I know. ive been feeling a little bit writers blocked lately. i still hope you all like this story, your reviews mean a lot. i also hope everyone is staying safe with all that is going on in the world. my thoughts are with all of you and hopefully my stories can bring some light to you all during this time**

* * *

"Jay?" Olivia called.

The house was silent, which is odd when you have a three year old and a husband who can also sometimes act like a three year old. They'd come up to the cabin to have some family time. This was also the first time they'd brought James here. And so far James was loving it. He couldn't believe he had two houses to live in, he so badly wanted to go swimming in the lake off the back dock, which Olivia and Jay made sure to tell him to stay away from. Jay set up the hot tub for him to go in, if he was good.

as for Jay, he wanted to show James everything and do everything they possibly could in one shot. Olivia had to remind him multiple times, that they had plenty of time. They were going to be here for a few days, and not for nothing, they could come up here whenever they wanted to. But Olivia couldn't deny the fact that this daddy/son bonding time was absolutely adorable.

She found Jay and James in the backyard. Jay had golf balls all set up on tees and was teaching James how to hit them. Something she didn't even know Jay knew how to do. Olivia quickly grabbed her phone and took a few cute pictures of Jay teaching James and then cheering when James hit the ball. James was on cloud nine, smiling up at his Dad. It was so clear how much he loved Jay. Olivia walked down the steps of the deck and down to her family.

"I didn't know you played golf."

Jay turned at the sound of her voice.

"Oh im not any good. I kinda just play for fun."

"Huh, never knew.' Olivia directed her attention to James, 'It looks like you're crushing it buddy."

"Look how far I can hit it...foorrreee"

James struck the ball with all the force he had and it putted it a few feet in front of him. He whirled around to look at his parents with such excitement and pride. Jay and Olivia mirrored the expression for him.

"Do we have a future golf star on our hands?!" Jay said.

"Maybe, but if that's the case, then Daddy shouldn't be teaching you." Olivia joked.

"Daddy hits them into the water." James laughed.

Jay scoffed in fake offense.

"We are on a lake, where else would they go."

Olivia ruffled James' hair and kissed Jay's cheek.

"Dinner will be ready in 30, you two better be cleaned up by then."

"Yes ma'am." Jay said.

"Yes ma'am." James mimicked.

* * *

After putting James to bed, Olivia came out to the living room to find Jay standing with his hands in his pockets, staring out the large glass doors. It was clear he was deep in thought, Olivia snuck up behind and and wrapped her arms around him. Jay sighed and placed his hands over her own.

"What's wrong?"

"Voight called."

Olivia sighed, she knew what that meant.

"I'll start packing up then."

"I told him I couldn't come back."

"Jay, you can't tell your boss no."

"I can when we're hours away and I'm spending time with my family."

"If it wasn't important he wouldn't have called. You know that."

Jay shook his head.

"There's nothing more important than my family."

"Baby, Voight's family too."

Jay held her a little tighter.

"Let's just worry about us while we're here."

Olivia spent the night feeling Jay toss and turn. Whatever Voight had said to him had him rattled and when Jay is like that it causes his nightmares to start up. Jay hadn't had one in years. She knew it was coming by his sleep talk. Olivia sat on her knees and straddled his lap, waiting for the nightmare to come to a full blow. As if on cue, Jay's eyes bolted open and they were a darkened shade of blue. Olivia knew she had to tred lightly. She gently placed her hands on either side of his face, Jays hands grabbed her upper arms.

"Jay, can you hear me? It's me baby, its Olivia, wherever you think you are, youre not. We're home and in bed."

Jays hands tightened around her arms, and she winced.

"Jay, you're just having a nightmare. None of it's real."

she pried one of his hands from her arms and put it over her heart.

"See that's real, can you feel my heart beating."

For a split second Jay glanced from her face, to his hand on her heart, back to her face. The dark cloudiness in his eyes slowing fading.

"There you go, come on, let it go Jay."

confusion took the place of the darkness and Jay looked around.

"Livi?"

"It's okay, its all okay, it was just a nightmare."

Olivia rolled to her side and pulled him close.

"Just relax, everything is alright now."


	34. We Got This

Olivia woke before her husband and son, and crept into the kitchen to start the coffee pot. She sat at the kitchen table and looked at their wedding plans. Plans that once gave her the worst anxiety now were almost completed and filled her with happy butterflies. A light knock at the front door distracted her from her thoughts. Glancing through the peephole, the person at her door looked to be a courier of some sort.

"Can I help you?" She asked, standing slightly behind the door.

"Olivia McKnight?"

"Yes."

"For you."

He handed her a manilla envelope and walked away. Closing the door, she went and sat at the table with a cup of coffee and opened the package.

_Dear Olivia,_

_Im writing to let you know that mom and dad have sold the businesses with our names in the partnerships. As per all contract agreements, if anything were to happen to the other, the other sibling would inherit the share. I figured it would only be fair to give you the money that's rightfully owed to you. Mom, dad and everyone else are all still in the dark about everything. I hope you're happy and doing well. I wish nothing but the best for you big sister and miss you every day. Things around here are certainly different without you. Take care of yourself sis, from your bro._

Wiping away a tear, Olivia took the letter and tossed it into the lit fireplace. She knew the money would be deposited into her account. Her brother would make sure of it. He was her only contact to her old life because he kept her secret account filled with her share of money. They never spoke of anything else. Actually they never spoke. He spent a letter here and there but that was all. She never responded and she never reached out first. Now there would be no reason for her to from him, business was done and finished.

It hurt her everyday that her family would never know Jay and grill him like they did other boyfriends. They wouldn't tease him about having to put up with her high maintenance ass. And Jay would laugh and say she wasn't but deep down he knew, and so did she, that she was. She for sure wasn't as bad as she was when they first met. They would tell him embarrassing stories about her or make fun of her in front of him. They'd never get to welcome him into the family.

And they'd never know James or any of their future kids. The Halstead children would never know of life on the east coast, summers on the beach in campers. But they'd know and love their life in Chicago with the family they had here. Life on the lake at the family cabin. She wanted to give her kids the same kind of love and life she had growing up with her family, and the closeness she had shared with her cousins. Football Sunday and Sunday dinners were going to become a must once they returned home from this trip.

Tiny feet padded across the kitchen followed by the sound of two larger ones, and Olivia knew her two favorite guys were planning a sneak attack to scare her. She sipped her coffee and placed it back on the table with a sly smirk.

"When will you two learn that sneaking up on me has become impossible."

Even with her back to them she knew they were looking at each other, playfully sulking that they had been caught.

"I don't know how you do it, but that second sense is insane. You'd make a fucking great detective." Jay said.

"Yeah, a fucking great one mommy." James repeated.

The two burst out laughing before they could even reprimand their son for his language.

"James, you know you can't say that."

"But you and daddy say it all the time!"

"Daddy and I are grown ups…well most of the time daddy is."

Jay nudged her.

"Yeah, daddy is kinda like a kid."

Olivia laughed out loud again.

"Go brush your teeth…both of you."

James headed toward the bathroom but Jay walked over to her.

"You good?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just seem a little out of it this morning."

"I'm content. This was a much needed mini vacay."

Jay wrapped his arms around her.

"Maybe we can take another mini vacay…just the two of us…so we can be alone."

"I do have a business to run and a job. You have a city to protect."

"I also got babies I need to start making."

Olivia playfully shoved him away.

"I don't think we have a hard time finding ways to make time for that."

She was off, and Jay knew it, even if she thought she was playing it off well.

* * *

_"__So are we gonna talk about what we did in Vegas?" Jay asked._

_He was the first to break the ice about it. They returned home from Vegas a week ago and hadn't seen one another since. Jay showed up at her door after one of his shifts. The silence between them was making him crazy. _

_"__What's there to talk about?"_

_They were sitting on her couch, awkward tension sitting in between them._

_"__Olivia, we got…married," he said, whispering the last part. "We need to talk about divorcing or annulling or whatever."_

_"__Is that what you wanna do?"_

_"__Don't you?"_

_Olivia picked at her fingers. Something Jay noticed that she did when she felt under pressure or unsure._

_"__Yeah, we probably should. Otherwise you'd have to fill out all that paperwork for the job about insurance and beneficiary stuff."_

_"__Paperwork is the last of my worries. I'm just…I mean…we never even…we don't like each other like that."_

_The second the words left his lips, he prayed that she believed his lie. He'd serve her the world on a million silver platters if she'd ask him too. And when those words hit her ears, it took everything in her for her not to breakdown into a mess. That would have to wait till he left._

_"__Yeah, and you're just starting things with Hailey, so. Um do you want me to have someone draw up the papers or do you have someone?"_

_"__Uh, I can."_

_"__Okay, so text when they're ready and I'll sign em. I need to shower, so lock the door on your way out?"_

_She didn't give him a second to respond before she walked off. She stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for him to leave. After a minute she heard the front door closed and she burst into tears. She didn't know why she was crying. She knew she had no right to be. After all they were best friends who stupidly got married in Vegas. _

_Jay stood on the front porch, debating if he should just walk back in there and tell her the truth. That he didn't want to sign those papers and maybe they could give the thought of them a fighting chance. He meant it when he asked her to marry him, he meant it when he said he wanted a future with her, for her to be his everything for the rest of his life. She was it. And he knew no matter how hard he tried, no one was gonna top her. He felt it, every time her hand was in his, or her arm wrapped through his, when she kissed his cheek, when they'd lay around resting on another. But when they kissed to seal their marriage, it was like Jay saw everything that they're future would be. How was he supposed to let that go._

_Two weeks of barely speaking to each other, and here they were in his apartment, sitting on the couch, staring down at the papers both holding pens. She had to sign them, she knew she did. He was with Hailey and she made him happy. He had just started his relationship with the blonde cop but from what she heard through friends it was going well. Olivia avoided nights at Molly's just so she wouldn't have to see them together. Cut the cord, sign the papers and let Jay go. _

_"__I'll just sign these and head out. I'm sure you have plans with Hailey."_

_Olivia leaned forward to sign the papers._

_"__I broke up with her last night. We both agreed it's better to stay friends and partners."_

_Olivia dropped her pen down._

_"__Why didn't you tell me? How are you holding up?"_

_"__I can't sign these papers Livi, and I know you don't want to either."_

_"__Jay,' she said with a sigh, 'We can't just be married."_

_"__We can. Look I thought about this okay, and at the end of the day if anything were to happen to me, I want you to be my beneficiary."_

_"__Shouldn't that be Will?"_

_"__I want it to be you."_

_"__Okay so we'll fill out other paperwork for that. Marriage papers are a different ballgame Jay."_

_"__I know, okay, I know. But you'll have better insurance, and you'll never have to worry about anything as a police wife, and god forbid anything happens to me, you'll get my pension."_

_"__Jesus Christ Jay."_

_"__We can hid our rings! Mine in my badge, yours in your scissors, Olivia I am begging you. Please do not ask me to sign those papers. Because right now, the thought of not knowing of what we could be if we give this a shot, I can't shake it."_

_"__So you wanna play house?"_

_"__We practically live like it now! We have dinner together every night. We share a bed, we wake up tangled in each other. We could be in a crowded room and still only see one another. Olivia we don't have a normal friendship!"_

_"__Jay, I …"_

_Was the room getting smaller? It was, she could feel it. And why was it so hard for her to suddenly catch her breath._

_"__Olivia, take some deep breaths. You know I'm right. And I promise you, that if we go through with all this, it's gonna work. I know it is because I've never wanted something so much. I want you Livi, you're my endgame."_

_Olivia picked up the papers and looked at jay. She thought for a second and then tore them in half. Jay smiled widely and leaned forward and kissed her lips._

_"__We got this baby, we got this."_


	35. Ogling

_**A/N: a quick thank you to a guest reviewer who, thankfully pointed out that somehow a previous chapter was reposted and smushed into a new chapter! and i appreciate your kinds words of liking my story. i hope everyone is continuing to stay safe and healthy during this crazy time**_

* * *

"Do you remember that time we both got the flu?" Olivia asked.

They had just left the florist after making the final decisions on centerpieces and flowers.

"A few years back?' He questioned, 'Yeah, why?"

"We'd known each other, what, barely a year?"

"Something like that. We were stuck in my apartment for like two weeks."

"You were so nice to me."

Jay looked at her.

"We were friends Livi."

She shook her head.

"Looking back, there was so much love and tenderness that you gave me. Crazy to think that I'd been so blind to it."

Jay took her hand in his.

"All worked out in the end."

Olivia stood on her tippy toes to kiss him.

"Do you have to go back to work?" She pouted.

"Don't do the pouty lips thing. You know I can't resist it."

"Maybe that's my plan."

Jay pecked her lips.

"Stop trying to get me in trouble Mrs. Halstead."

"Never gonna happen Mr. Halstead."

Jay walked her to her truck.

"I really do have to go. I'll try to be home before James goes to bed."

"As long as you come home safe, I don't care what time it is."

"Are you picking him up from daycare?"

"Gonna head over there now and bring him to the shop with me for a few hours."

"You sure? Cause I can call Will, he's off today."

"Go to works you can maybe get done early." She laughed.

* * *

James was on another level of hyper. He was all over the place, which made work 10 times harder. When they got home, Olivia put James down and let him do whatever he needed to do to get his crazy energy out. Olivia was in the kitchen making dinner when the front door opened.

"Daddy!" James yelled.

Olivia Ould hear James' bare feet against the floor as he ran to Jay.

"There's my little guy."

Jay scooped James into his arms.

"I missed you Daddy."

"I missed you too. Were you good for Mommy at the salon today?"

Olivia couldn't wait to hear his answer.

"I was a little bit."

"James,' Jay scolded, 'You know better than that. When you go to Mommy's job, you act respectful."

"But Daddy-"

"No buts, I'm sure you hurt Mommy's feelings acting like that. Mommy's a boss, and when you're at the salon you have to show respect there."

James' little lip quivered.

"Oh no, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings Daddy, I promise."

Jay strolled into the kitchen with their son propped on his hip and it was one of the hottest things she'd ever seen. James on his left hip, badge and empty holster on the right, had Olivia biting her lip and thinking deliciously sinful things.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jay asked.

"Like what?"

Jay smirked.

"You're ogling me."

"I am not." She scoffed.

"What's ogling?" James piped up.

"It's nothing." Olivia said.

"It means Mommy is giving Daddy se-"

"Jay!" Olivia shouted.

Jay let out a hearty laugh.

"Take James to wash up before dinner."

"Yea Ma'am." Jay playfully smirked.

Olivia shoved him in the same playful manner and turned away to finish dinner.

"Hey, hey, hey, not so fast."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. Jay purged his lips out, waiting for his welcome home kiss. Olivia stood on her tip toes, kissed him, wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"Nothing better than coming home to this." Jay mumbled into her hair.

After dinner Jay got James bathed and ready for bed. Jay tucked him in and read him two books for the the little boy fell asleep. Jay came back downstairs and sat next to Olivia on the couch, where she then curled up to his side.

"Never thought I'd be here."

"Where?" She asked.

"Coming home after shift to a house, a wife and a son. I really thought it would always be just some lonely apartment."

"Dude we saw each other every night."

"I know, but that was different. Knowing that this is forever, it's…it just makes me feel whole."

"Jay, you've always been whole. Now, we're just a little older, married and have a kid. We have a life of our own together."

"I am who I am because of you."

"What is going on with you?"

Jay let out a deep sigh.

"Voight needs me to go undercover."

Olivia pulled away from him a little.

"For how long?" Her tone was cold.

"Livi-"

"How long Jay?"

"However long it takes."

"Days? Weeks? Months?"

"I don't have any idea. It's a cartel thing. There's no set time. I have to get them to trust me, open up to me."

"Why not Kevin or Adam?"

"The girl we're using in all this…they're not, it's just that I'm…"

She could tell he was trying to choose his words carefully.

"Her type?" She finished.

"Baby, its not gonna be like that."

"Maybe not for you…or in the beginning at least."

Olivia got off the couch and began to pace.

"What the hell does that even mean Livi!"

"You know exactly what it means Jay!"

"Well, pretend I don't." He shot back.

"You've got to work this girl, make her like you, make her trust you. You gotta charm her, flirt with her. That's how it all starts right?"

"Olivia,' Jay stood and took her hands in his, ' All the things you're thinking aren't going to happen. Do you hear me? Yes,, I have to do all those things, but for a case."

"And what am I supposed to tell James?"

Jay pulled her in for a hug.

"I don't know. Just that I'm working and that I love you both so damn much."


	36. The First I Love You

_Olivia and Jay were about seven months into their friendship when Jay told her he had to do something for work, and she wouldn't hear from him for a little bit, but the second that he was back she would be the first person he would call. The night before his assignment, he took her to this fancy restaurant for dinner. When they got there Olivia tried insisting on going somewhere else._

_"__I can afford this place, ya know." He said._

_She put a hand on his arm._

_"__That wasn't what I was trying to imply. I know you can afford this. But on your last night before some big, super secret work assignment, do you really want to spend it at this place?"_

_Jay shrugged._

_"__I just wanted to spend it with you and to have a nice memory of us to hold on too."_

_Concern took over her features._

_"__Jay, what is this work thing?"_

_"__I wish I could tell you, but I can't."_

_She gave him a small smile._

_"__Okay Jay. What do you say, lets ditch this bougie place and go axe throwing."_

_"__Dressed like this?"_

_"__Yeah, why not. I want tonight to be fun and full of laughter that way when you think back on tonight whenever you need to, it's the real us."_

_And that's how they spent their night together. Jay held her in the position to teach her how to hold and throw the axe. Her scent and her body so close to his had distracted him from watching her hit the bullseye. She cheered loudly and threw her arms around his neck. They went up against each other and then paired up to take on other groups. That's what Jay held on to, that's what kept him going. _

_But after that night, Olivia struggled. Weeks of unanswered texts and calls broke her heart, even though she knew why they weren't returned. Every time she saw his friends and asked about him, they always gave her a sad smile and said the same thing, 'hopefully he'll be back soon'. Eventually by week 3, Olivia gave up hope of him ever coming home at all. One night after taking a long, hot, and sob in the shower type of showers after work, Olivia had a missed call and voicemail from an unknown number._

_"__Hey Livi, it's Jay…which I'm sure you know by my voice, or at least I still hope so. I'm not supposed to be calling and I'll probably get in trouble if anyone finds out. Anyways, I just really needed to hear your voice. I miss you so much. I can't wait to come home and just be lazy with my best friend and watch those stupid shows you like. Look, I gotta go, and I don't know if I'll be able to reach out again. Just know that I think about you all the time…love you."_

_That was the first time either of them had said it to one another in their friendship. Olivia looked down at her phone and cried when she realized she had missed the call by seconds. She laid herself in Jay's bed, in one of his sweatshirts and cried herself to sleep._

* * *

_it had been weeks since Jay left her that voicemail. Everyone at 21 seemed to be avoiding her as much as they possibly could. She stopped going out, she spent most nights at Jay's apartment which was starting to lose the scent and feeling of him. She was starting to feel alone, like she did when she first came to Chicago. Knock at the door had her hauling herself off the couch to answer it._

_"__Olivia McKnight?" A flower delivery guy asked her._

_"__Yes, can I help you?"_

_"__Sender said if you didn't answer at the house address, then to come here."_

_"__Who's the sender?"_

_"__Not sure, but here you go." He said handing her a large vase._

_"__Thanks, have a good night."_

_"__You too."_

_Olivia closed the door and then put the flowers on the counter. Calla Lillies, her favorite, mixed with red roses. The card was blank. Before meeting Jay she would've been a worried mess about who had sent them. After meeting Jay, she'd still be a worried mess but she'd probably see if he could figure out who sent them. Problem was, Jay wasn't here, she was alone. The tailspin she was putting herself in was leaving her emotionally and mentally drained. So she went and fell asleep in Jay's bed, again. _

_In the middle of the night her phone rang from a blocked number, so she declined the call and rolled back over. Two seconds later it rang again from a blocked number. Again she declined. The third time, she was pissed and still half asleep when she answered._

_"__I don't know who the fu-"_

_"__Thank god you answered."_

_Olivia sat straight up and began to sob._

_"__No, livi, don't cry." Jay said softly._

_"__I can't help it, I'm just so glad to hear your voice."_

_"__I know exactly how you feel."_

_"__I miss you."_

_"__I miss you too, so much, you have no idea."_

_Olivia sniffed and wiped her face._

_"__Do you like the flowers?" He asked._

_"__You…you sent those to me? It's my favorite mix."_

_"__I do listen when you speak sometimes."_

_"__They're absolutely beautiful, thank you."_

_"__I bet they're nothing compared to you."_

_It was quite between them._

_"__Jay, how are you, truthfully?"_

_Jay sighed._

_"__Hoping to be done soon. Most of the time I'm thinking of you."_

_"__Me?"_

_"__Mmhmm,' he hummed, ' this gig is harder than I thought it'd be. You're the only thing that gets me through this… shit I've got to go." He rushed at the end._

_"__Wait, wait, wait."_

_"__Yeah Livi?"_

_Olivia started to get upset again._

_"__Be careful, okay? You come home to me. I love you Jay, you hear me, I love you and you come home to me."_

_"__You're why I'm coming home, you're my girl. Love you too Olivia."_

_The line went dead and Olivia began to cry loudly._

* * *

_Week seven was without a doubt the hardest. Work had been hell, all she did was endlessly worry about Jay, she couldn't focus, and she had this gut feeling she couldn't seem to shake. Olivia was in the kitchen, cleaning up the take out she had for dinner, ready to take a shower._

_"__You look good in my kitchen, in my clothes."_

_Olivia whirled around and her eyes filled with tears._

_"__Please tell me I'm not halucenating."_

_Jay chuckled._

_"__No, you're not." _

_Olivia ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. Jay held her close and took in her scent that he had missed so much._

_"__Welcome home." She mumbled into his neck._

_Jay squeezed her a little tighter. He then pulled back a bit and held her face in his hands._

_"__I'm so glad your face is the first one I'm seeing."_

_Olivia smiled, and then panic took over her feature._

_"__You need to call Will! He's been so worried. And Everyone at the district, they-"_

_"__They can wait till tomorrow. Tonight…tonight I just want to be with you."_

_"__I'm not going anywhere."_

_Olivia could see in Jay's eyes he was hiding something._

_"__It's…I…while I was gone, all I could think of was you. Coming home to you, coming home and kissing you and know I shouldn't want to because that could change everything and-"_

_"__So kiss me."_

_"__What did you say?"_

_"__I said, 'so kiss me'."_

_"__If..if I do, I don't think I'll be able to stop kissing you."_

_"__Then don't." She shrugged._

_"__Olivia-"_

_"__Just stop talking."_

_Olivia pulled Jay's head down for his lips to meet her own. If this is what he needed, then so be it. And it was nothing more than intense kissing and wild hands that led them to be cuddled up in Jay's bed._

_"__I like the beard." She commented._

_"__I'll probably shave it off tomorrow."_

_Olivia took in his appearance. He looked run down, beat up and tired. Bags under his eyes served as proof of lack of sleep. Faint signs of bruises and cuts._

_"__What did they do to you?" She asked, softly touching his face._

_"__Nothing babe,' he said with a kiss to her head, 'I'm okay."_

_It sounded so rehearsed and robotic._

_"__Sleep Jay, you need it. God knows the last time you actually safely slept."_

_Jay shook his head._

_"__I don't wanna miss any time with you."_

_"__I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise."_

_Jay settled down into the bed._

_"__Did I really kiss you tonight?"_

_Olivia smirked._

_"__You did, many times. And you know what, I kissed you back…a lot."_


	37. Your Sunshine

Olivia hadn't been able to fall asleep and stay asleep. She constantly kept waking up to make sure Jay was still there. That, and her guilt over being mad kept gnawing at her. Guess the saying 'never go to be mad' really rings true. It wasn't that she was mad at Jay, because she wasn't. And she wasn't mad at the job because she knew this was all part of what came with Jay and his job. But his last UC assignment was different, they were still in the first year or so of their friendship and it was hard having those feelings of missing Jay and feeling alone without him when she was the only person she had to worry about.

But they had a son now, and they both knew James wasn't full old enough to understand why his dad would be gone for so long and he wasn't young enough to not remember it. She would have to play the roll of both parents while trying to not fall apart herself. How was she supposed to run her business with a clear mind. Maybe she'd just take a leave from work and take James up to the cabin and just stay there till Jay came home. Some of her favorite memories that she could remember were from being there.

_Olivia was laying on the front end of a boat soaking in the hot rays of the sun, listening to the music. It'd had felt like forever since this last time she truly relaxed and zoned out. There was something about the hot sun and the lake air that settled her. A shadow loomed over her face, and she opened her eyes to see Jay playfully peering down at her._

_"__You're blocking my sunshine."_

_Jay feigned hurt._

_"__I am your sunshine."_

_Olivia let out a loud laugh._

_"__That was horribly corny."_

_"__So be it.' Jay leaned down and kissed her forehead. 'You're getting really red."_

_"__Time to flip." She said, stretching out her limbs before sitting up. "How this fishing? You catch dinner yet?'' She mocked._

_"__Nothing big enough to hold on to. You sure you're not bored out here?"_

_Olivia shook her head and walked to the back of the boat where she sat and dangled her feet in the cool water. The lake was crowded with people celebrating the fourth of July weekend. Olivia looked up at Jay using her hand to block the sun. Shirtless, wearing a baseball hat, sunglasses and board shorts, looking all sorts of a heaven. _

_"__Let me have your glasses."_

_"__What no, where are yours?"_

_"__I don't know, come on." She pouted._

_Jay huffed and give her his._

_"__Woo, you said I looked red? Halstead you look fucking crispy. That shit is gonna hurt later."_

_Jay sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her and put his chin on her shoulder._

_"__Ugh, babe no, it's too hot."_

_"__Babe?" Jay asked referring to the nickname._

_"__It's a term of endearment." She defended._

_"__Uh huh, sure."_

_"__Shut up Jay."_

_"__Come swimming with me." He mumbled into her neck._

_Olivia tried squirming away._

_"__Get out of here." _

_"__Come on." He said again blowing a raspberry on her neck._

_Olivia shrieked at the gesture and flipped herself around to push Jay on his back and hover over him. Jay reached up to take his glasses off her face and placed them beside him._

_"__Nice move." He commented._

_Olivia poked her tongue out in victory and before she knew it, Jay had launched the two of the into the lake. The cool water like ice against her hot skin. Coming up from under water, she reached out for Jay who happily gathered her in his arms while they floated near the boat._

_"__That was mean." She said._

_"__You'll live."_

_She tried to float away from him but he pulled her back._

_"__What do you say to heading back to the house, showering, cooking and packing up dinner and then we can take the boat back out and have dinner as the sun sets and watch fireworks from the boat?" Jay asked._

_"__You sure you wanna be out here when everyone and their mother will be shooting shit off? We can stay inside and watch from the windows."_

_"__But you love fireworks."_

_"__But, I know how they make you feel."_

_Jay looked defeated._

_"__I think I'll be alright."_

_"__Okay, but the second I notice otherwise I'm driving back to the dock."_

_"__You know how to drive a boat?"_

_"__Don't change the subject. Come on let's head back."_

_Jay let Olivia drive back to the cabin dock while he sat back with a beer and watched her, and he couldn't deny how fucking good she looked behind the wheel, every so often giving him that incredibly gorgeous smile of hers. Jay helped her off the boat and then tossed an arm over her shoulder while she put one around his waist and they walked back up to the cabin. Jay set up the grill and took care of the meats while Olivia made the side salads, fries and veggies. Olivia packed the cold cooler with the salads, drinks, beer, and iced coffee. She left the warm food by the other cooler they were using for the hot food for Jay to pack when he was done._

_They both showered, and changed into comfy clothes before packing the boat back up. Olivia grabbed two sweatshirts just in case they got cold, and then they set off on the water again. They enjoyed dinner, which was just way too much food for the two of them, picking out of each others dishes and sharing beers. Jay normally hated people picking from his dish or sharing his drinks. He wasn't a crazy germaphobe, he just usually found it gross. But he always reached into Olivia's plate when he thought she wasn't looking. And when she started to do it back, he found that it didn't bother him._

_By the time it was dark enough for the fireworks to start Olivia was freezing, most likely from being sunburn. Jay refused to put on his sweatshirt and used it to wrap around her as another layer of warmth. They were cuddled up to one another, arms wound around each other watching the sky as it began to boom with sound and light up with color._

_"__You're sure you're okay with this?"_

_"__Yeah, I'm okay, I got you here. Plus I don't want you to miss the lake like this."_

_"__Is that why you wanted to come up here?"_

_"__I figured you'd like it. Peace and quiet away from the city plus the magic of fireworks."_

_"__Now it makes sense that you only wanted it to be us."_

_"__We spend all our time with our friends, figured some one on one was deserved."_

_"__I tell ya Halstead, you are a hopeless romantic. This will be a hell of a date weekend for some girl one day."_

_Jay looked at Olivia as she looked up at the sky. She was the only girl it felt right to do this with. There was no one else but her, she just didn't know it yet. Olivia watched the fireworks with such wonder and excitement. She turned to look at Jay, who was staring at her._

_"__What's wrong?"_

_"__Nothing,' he chuckled, 'I'm just thinking."_

_"__Bout what?"_

_"__Livi, come on."_

_"__What, tell me!"_

_"__It's nothing, its embarrassing more than anything."_

_"__Now you really have to tell me."_

_"__Would you look at those fireworks." Jay said, trying to change the topic._

_"__Okay, that's it, I'm driving us in." _

_Olivia got up and walked over to the wheel and started up the boat._

_"__Wait, wait, wait.' He said getting up, and wrapping his arms around her from behind. 'I was thinking about the night I kissed you when I came home from my UC case."_

_"__Oh?"_

_"__I know, and I know I shouldn't be, but since then we've been, more….like…I don't know."_

_"__Touchy feely, mushy, lovey?"_

_"__Yeah, all of that. And I just don't-"_

_"__It makes you uncomfortable. Right, totally got it."_

_Jay squeezed her middle._

_"__Actually, I was going to say, I like being this way with you."_

_Olivia turned to him._

_"__I don't want it to change. I like us like this." She said._

_"__So then, this is who were are."_

_"__Everyone is gonna bust our balls when we get back."_

_"__So we don't tell them."_

_"__You don't think they're gonna know?"_

_"__We won't be any different. We always are holding hands, or near one another. I just won't be able to kiss you."_

_"__Think you can handle that?" She teased._

_"__I'll have too."_

_"__Ya know,' she leaned into him, 'There's no one around now."_

_"__Then I better kiss you while I can."_

_"__I think that'd be wise."_


	38. Best Thing I Got

Jay had to admit, Olivia reacted a hell of a lot better than he thought she would about the whole thing. Although he wasn't sure how he expected her to react. She was never one to throw thing or break shit, that was more his style. Olivia had a way with words that could hurt you more than a punch could, but at the same time, she could use the best of words to make you feel like the best person alive. That was part of the reason why, whenever something was wrong, he went to her.

_It was late, like middle of the night late, and he knew she wouldn't be up, but he knocked on her door anyway. Shockingly the door, swung open rather quickly, and there she was still in the days clothes and make up with fuzzy slippers on and a confused look on her face._

_"__Hey, everything okay?" She questioned._

_"__Not really, can I come in?"_

_"__Of course, come on."_

_She led Jay into the kitchen and over to the table._

_"__I'm sorry I'm here so late."_

_"__No need to apologize. Wanna tell me what's up?"_

_Jay fiddled with his hands._

_"__I'm not sure how too."_

_Olivia got up and made them each a cup of tea. Jay, although he hated tea, always accepted it at times like these. He took a sip and made a face._

_"__Good lord, what is that? It's terrible."_

_Olivia chuckled._

_"__It's lavender tea. Shut up, drink it, and tell me what's wrong."_

_"__This isn't some voodoo tea is it? You've been watching a lot of 'The Originals' lately."_

_"__Jackass…and besides you secretly like it."_

_"__Meh I only watch it for you, and Klaus is pretty cool."_

_"__Klaus is the best!"_

_"__Really?' He said with a raised brow, 'Didn't peg you for a Klaus type."_

_"__Klaus is everything. He's fiercely protective of the people he loves, he loves deeply, his family is everything, and-"_

_"__And he's a murderous vampire, because that's not weird."_

_"__Hybrid, Halstead, he's a hybrid."_

_"__Whatever same thing."_

_"__He reminds me of you." She said quietly._

_Jay pushed his cup away._

_"__You've got to be kidding me?"_

_"__No! I mean think about it. You're over protective, your inner circle means the world to you, you show me such kindness and love that its amazing how everyone in the world hasn't fallen at your feet."_

_"__You forgot murderer."_

_"__What?"_

_"__I've killed people."_

_"__For your job. That's completely different."_

_"__Is it? Because today I killed a little girl."_

_She put a hand on to of his._

_"__Jay, you didn't know she was there, and your bullet went threw a door. You had no control over it."_

_"__It doesn't matter!' He shouted. "They're coming for my badge, they wanna take my job. I'm all over social media as a child killing monster."_

_"__You are not a child killing monster. You're a war hero, a bad ass detective in one of the best units in Chicago, you are kind hearted, you a respectful. You are my best friend, the best person in my life, the only person who ever puts up with my antics and never tells me to fuck off, you're my protector during thunderstorms, and my place for warmth then I'm cold. You're my shield during scary movie, you're my snugly, cuddly, teddy bear when I'm sleepy or sick. How could you think anything else?"_

_Jay smiled._

_"__You do have a way with words."_

_"__Why thank you." She said, faking royalness._

_"__Do you remember when you ripped that girl to shreds at Molly's?"_

_"__Of course I do. That twatwaffle got her fucking panties in a twist because you didn't want to dance with her or buy her a drink. She deserved every word I said. Like who did she think she is."_

_"__I think she was mad because I was so wrapped up in you and not her."_

_"__Well, that cuntosarous had it coming, whatever."_

_"__You're cute when you're angry."_

_"__I'm defending myself."_

_"__Angry and defensive, how very Klaus Mikelson." Jay snickered._

_Olivia shoved his shoulder._

_"__You're a jerk…anyway, you feel better now?"_

_"__Yeah, it must've been the tea."_

_Olivia rolled her eyes, stood up and held out her hand._

_"__Come on, let's go up to bed. I'm sure you have an early shift."_

_"__Right you are."_

_Jay followed her up to her bedroom, and got into bed with her. Olivia snuggled up to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. The girl was magic, pure magic. Jay wasn't sure how she did what she did, and he didn't care. She always made him feel so much better. And when he woke in the morning, he found her in the kitchen with his clothes from last night, freshly washed and folded alongside new clothes for him to wear that day to work. A plate of breakfast and a cup of coffee set on the counter for him._

_"__You've got an hour and a half before you need to leave. Eat up and then go take a shower."_

_Jay sat at the counter and smiled at her as he dug into his breakfast._

_"__Why are you looking at me like that Halstead?"_

_"__You remind me of someone."_

_she quirked an eyebrow._

_"__Do tell." she pressed._

_"__You remind me of Mouse."_

_Olivia's smile dropped._

_"__I remind you of a mouse? The fuck Jay?"_

_Jay laughed at her offense._

_"__No, I had a friend Mouse. We were over seas together, he got me out of some dark times when we came home and our friends didn't. He actually worked in the unit for a bit."_

_"__So what happened? Voight fire him?"_

_"__Uh no, he uh, he decided to go back over seas."_

_"__Still well, I hope."_

_"__Yeah, last I heard. He'll be coming home in a few months, and going into a community home to help with the ptsd."_

_"__How come he won't just live with you?"_

_"__Mouse, mouse needs help that I can't give. And until he's well he doesn't want to see me."_

_"__Jay, I'm sorry."_

_"__Not your fault. Seems like everyone bails at some point." He shrugged._

_"__Well, I'm not. You're stuck with me for life."_

_"__We'll see about that."_

_"__Oh I'm not kidding, you're the best thing I got going for me so, be prepared."_

And she was right, she was going to be with him for life. But Jay couldn't lie, he did miss his friend. He missed just having beers with Mouse, watching hockey or football, working together. Last he heard from Mouse, he still didn't feel ready to see Jay, and jay in return gave him assurance that it would all be okay. He told Jay he was sad he was missing key moments like meeting Olivia, being there to help Jay after he struggled after Olivia's kidnapping and losing her memory, he missed being there when Jay asked Olivia to marry him or when they adopted James and not being the fun Uncle because Will, while he had his moments, wasn't as care free as Mouse used to be.

Jay assured him again. Mouse was always with him in whatever he did, even if Mouse wasn't there physically. He told him how Olivia considered Mouse her other brother in law, and James knew him as Uncle Mouse aka Mousey. And that James couldn't wait to play pretend cops with Mouse, or play with legos and matchbox cars. James even named his new stuffed animal Mousey, a stuffed mouse he won from some street fair to go along with the teddy bear cop that had rightfully been named Dada bear. Jay gushed to mouse how great it was to be a dad, to teach this little human all the things in life, and to be a partner to the most beautiful and kind and perfect woman in the world. He expressed that he wished all that for Mouse one day.

But one thing Jay would never admit to Mouse, was that he was sad. Sad, that when he was in a room of friends and family, that Mouse wasn't anywhere to be seen. That Mouse wasn't there for family dinners, birthdays, holidays, or just for the hell of it. Jay felt that Mouse was ready to come home, but that wasn't his decision. Mouse didn't feel ready. He didn't feel like he could be around anyone without losing his shit at any moment. And Jay knew he couldn't fault his for that, Jay had been through that himself.


	39. Things In Order

The next morning after a sleepless night, Jay laid awake in bed watching Olivia sleep on his chest. They fought about the whole undercover thing the night before, and it kept him awake. He understood why she was upset, and he didn't blame her at all for being angry. Frankly, Jay wasn't thrilled about it either. There was no time frame on how long this case could last. People go undercover all the time. Sometimes, it's a quick thing and Jay was cool with that, he preferred those. And sometimes, sometimes people would be undercover for years. Jay couldn't do that, he wouldn't. How could he leave Olivia and James for years, having them never know if he was okay and then one day walk back into their lives like nothing happened. James would forget who he was, and Olivia could find someone who would never leave her.

What if this undercover thing that they were hoping to be over quick, isn't? He'd have to have a letter or something written up and he'd have Hank give it to her if he was gone more than the 6 months, a year tops. He'd tell her he was sorry for being a shitty husband and a terrible father, for putting the job before his family. The last thing he'd meant to do was abandon them or hold them back from living their lives. He'd tell her to move on and to let him go. He didn't deserve love from her when he wasn't here to give it back. He wanted her to find happiness. Find someone who would treat her right and take care of James. To love them both, in which he had failed.

"Why is your heart beating so fast?" She groggily asked.

Her eyes were still closed as she rested against his chest.

"It's nothing, just sleep."

Olivia peered up at him.

"I think I know you a lot better than that Halstead." She smirked.

"Just going over some things I have to get in order."

"What do you have to do that's got you all stirred up?"

Jay didn't answer her.

"Jay, what's going on?" She asked, sitting up.

Jay looked away from her.

"Jay." She said, turning his head to look at her, "You can't shut me out. Not now."

"If…if I'm not back after 6 months, or if something ever happens to me, you need to know that it's okay to move on."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"I'm serious Olivia, this unit, my brother, every cop in this city will always be there for you."

Olivia pushed herself away and got out of bed.

"How could you say that to me? I wanna know what this UC gig is."

"Livi, you know-"

"No okay, after everything we've fucking been through, you want me to just walk away?! Not happening."

"You might need too."

"You can't make me! I am your wife for christ sake, you're my husband, we're forever."

"Last time I went deep undercover, it was a seven week gig! You were hanging on by a thread then Livi!"

"So were you! Do you want out, is that why you're doing this?"

"That's fucking insane and you know it."

"Then you know I'm not walking away…ever." Olivia climbed back into bed. "You ever say shit to me like that again, and I will throat punch you."

"I just don't want you to feel stuck or unhappy."

"Jay,' she said, taking his hands, 'You never make me feel like that. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, because I am with you. Being a police officers wife isn't easy, but at the end of the day I am your wife first before anything else."

Jay pulled her back to him.

"James will be upset."

"Maybe, but you'll be home before we know it. Then we'll have our wedding, have epic sex, make the most beautiful babies, have more incredible sex…"

Jay snorted.

"Only you, Olivia, only you."

"Damn right, only me."

* * *

Jay was home spending time with James while Olivia was out running errands. And by errands, that meant her kicking on Hank's front door. Voight seemed surprised by her visit but let her in anyway. He handed her a cup of coffee and they sat at the kitchen table.

"What's on your mind kiddo?"

"Does it really have to be Jay for this UC gig?"

"Yes, he fits the type perfectly."

"It's pretty dangerous isn't it?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Jay's been going over things incase he's gone for a long time or doesn't make it home at all."

Voight let out a quiet sigh.

"Hank, you're the closest thing I have to a father, I need you to be straight with me."

"We'll be lucky if he's home before Christmas."

"Wh-what?" She asked, stunned.

Olivia felt the bile rising in her throat. They wouldn't have their wedding. He'd really be gone for at least 6 months. How could he have not told her that? How was she supposed to handle all this for 6 months.

"What if he decides to bail on all this?"

"Doesn't matter, paperwork is in. He leaves next week."

6 days, he was leaving her in 6 days. She had 4 days to put together the best day of their lives. Olivia was always up for a challenge, but this she couldn't do alone.

"I'm gonna need your help."

* * *

4 Days Later

It was almost midnight when Olivia quietly snuck into the house. She felt guilty telling Jay all sorts of lies about why she was always on her phone or coming home late. Thankfully everything was set and ready to go for tomorrow. Everyone had stepped up and helped big time.

"Where've you been?"

Olivia jumped at the sound of Jay's voice and clutched her chest.

"I had some work and stuff I had to do."

"Till midnight? What the fuck Livi!"

"Just…you just got to trust me on this, okay?"

"You've been acting sketchy, so have all of our friends. Our son has this mischievous smirk that seems to be plastered to his face all the time-"

Olivia gave a small, tight lipped grin.

"That! That's it, that's the exact smile!' Jay pointed out, 'Safe to say he gets it from his mother."

"Jay,' she soothed, draping her arms around his neck, 'Stop over thinking all this."

Jay pecked his lips.

"That sounds like something I would normally say to you."

"I guess I learned from the best."

Olivia raked her nails up and down his back.

"I'm sorry about this whole UC thing." He apologized.

"All part of being a Detective's wife, right?"

"You really believe that?"

"I believe that I'm by your side for life. Every up, down, high, low and in-between. Halstead women are tough cookies."

Jay snorted at her response.

"Woman,' he corrected, "My mom's gone, Will and Nat aren't married. You're the only Halstead woman."

"And what an honor it is."

"You know, I think I knew you were the one the second I met you."

"When I stole your beer, pretend to know you and was all up in your personal space? How classy."

"No smartass…well yes, but you smiled at me and I swear to god, I knew I needed you in my life like I need air to breathe."

Olivia snuggled into him.

"I'm yours forever Halstead, forever yours."


	40. Got To Be Dreaming

Tiny little hands touching his face began to wake Jay from his slumber.

"Daddy?,' James whispered, 'Daddy, you need to wake up. It's 7 am."

Since when did his son know how to tell time.

"Not yet buddy, lay with Daddy for a bit."

That usually worked and typically bought Jay another hour of sleep.

"We can't. Uncle Will said it's time."

Uncle Will? What the hell. Jay day right up, catching James, who had fallen backwards from sitting on Jays chest.

"Where's Mommy?" Jay questioned.

James giggled before wiggling out of Jay's hold and climbed out of the bed.

"Come on Daddy."

Jay got out of bed, followed his son out of the bedroom, down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"What is going on?"

Will, Owen, Adam, Voight, and Antonio were in his kitchen. Hearing Jay's voice, they all turned around with a chorus of 'there he is'. Jay's army greens, police blues as well as a line of suits and tuxes were on a rolling rack in the kitchen.

"Will' he questioned, 'What is all this?"

"This,' Will gestured, 'Is your wedding day."

Jay rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"I've got to be dreaming."

"Olivia has been working her ass off to get this done in four days." Adam said.

"She's spent most of the time at my house doing it." Voight chimed in.

Will clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Why cancel a wedding that's a few months away, when you can just put it together in a few days." Will joked.

Jay looked around, flabbergasted.

"Surprise Daddy!' James said jumping around his feet, 'We got you!"

Jay picked up his son and kissed the top of his head.

"You sure did.' Jay put him back down, 'can you get my phone from my room?"

James ran off and quickly returned with Jay's phone. Jay stepped into the backyard and dialed Olivia's number.

"Good morning." She answered.

He could tell from her tone that she was smirking.

"You are something else, you know that?"

"I've heard it a time or two."

"You really did all this in a few days?"

"Everything we planned and more."

"I can't wait to kiss you."

Olivia chuckled.

"Just a little bit longer. Your greens, your blues, and some tuxes and suit have been pressed for whichever you decide."

"You saw what I might wear?!" Jay playfully whined.

"Nope, Will took care of that for me."

Jay glanced into the house after hearing the doorbell.

"Ah, perfect timing,' she commented, 'That would be for you."

"Livi..."

"I'll see you at the alter, handsome."

"I'll see you there baby."

"Oh! I promised James he could wear some of your cologne today. I did his hair this morning 'just like Daddy wears his' before I left."

"What time did you leave?"

"Up at 5 am, got James up and fed by 5:45, his hair done at 6 and kissed you goodbye at 6:30. Now go inside, I love you Jay."

"I love you more than anything in this world."

Jay hung up with Olivia and he could hear James inside saying 'Mousey look, mousey look' while playing with his stuffed toys. Looking up while walking into the kitchen, Jay stopped in his tracks, eyes widening. James wasn't playing with his toys, but instead his Uncle Mouse was standing there holding James and laughing.

"Daddy look!' James put his hands on Mouse's face, 'Mousey's here!"

"Hey man." Mouse said, putting James down.

"How..." jay trailed off.

Mouse shrugged.

"I met Olivia, and I didn't want to miss this."

The two shared a tight hug and then Mouse let go and handed Jay a small box.

"From the future Mrs. Go open it upstairs. We'll keep James busy for a few."

Jay headed up to his bedroom and closed the door. Inside the nearly sealed box, was a set of custom made diamond encrusted 'JH' cuff links and a letter to Jay in Olivia's perfect handwriting.

**_Dear Jay,_**

**_ Can you believe it! While this day is happening a lot sooner than we planned, it's finally our wedding day...well our Chicago wedding. I guess this means we have two anniversaries. None the less, I can't wait to officially be called Olivia Halstead, the Detective's Mrs., but more importantly, your wife. _**

**_ I never thought I would find someone who loves me the way you do. You've shown and given me a life of love that I never could have imagined for myself. And it makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And truthfully, I am. I have, by far, the sexiest, strong, loving, funny, quick witted, husband. Who's eyes change to blue or green depending on what he's wearing. Who's adorable freckles are perfect for a game of 'connect the dots' after a day spent in the sun. Who owns my favorite six pack (beer and white claws have nothing on your six pack, baby). A husband who is the hottest baby daddy and who I can't wait to have more beautiful babies with. _**

**_ I love you Jay, more than words could ever say. I can't wait to marry you. To love you more and more every day. Here's to the rest of our lives handsome! I'll see you at the alter._**

**_ Love you forever,_**

**_ Livi_**

Jay's tears spilled onto the page. This is what she had been doing all week. She had been secretly planning their wedding. He had been so worried about everything else, that a wedding was the last thing on his mind and now he felt guilty about that. Jay went back down into the kitchen and smiled at everyone.

"Well fellas, lets have a wedding."

—————————————————————————

**A/n**

**Okay okay! It's happening! The wedding is finally happening!!! Is anyone as excited as I am???**


	41. Not Sure Who I Am

**A/n: I thought a little look back into Olivia's mind would fit in well here before we get into the good stuff. Enjoyyyyy**

**—————————————————————————**

_Dear self,_

_It's been two weeks since I've woken up and Dr Charles says I don't open up enough during therapy, so as my "homework" I have to write letters to myself. Which I think is stupid. Is that opening up enough Dr Charles? I think your stupid exercise is fucking stupid. My brain is a big pool of fucking goo mixed together with so many different things, but hey, let me write a letter to myself. Like oil and water in a bottle...shake that shit up and that's what my brain feels like. _

_I'm not sure who I am, but since I've woken all anyone calls me is Olivia, which feels some what familiar but I'm not sure. I'm not even sure how long I've been 'Olivia' or what she's like...well I guess what I'm like. Such a big part of me just wants to run home to New York, to my family and my friends. I woke up battered and bruised, to a fucking stranger holding my hand, and calling me Livi. Wanna know how that felt? Like it was some sort of joke or like tv shows based on mistaken identity. Looks of pity as I start to remember the world around me I'm Chicago, but more sad looks of pity as I can't recall who this stranger who held my hand was. It felt lonely, I felt alone and terrified. _

_So besides therapy, I don't leave my house. My house, which is filled with pictures of friends from this city and none from New York. But 90% percent of the pictures in this house are of the mystery stranger from the hospital. We seem close, we seem happy and I makes me wonder if all this is hurting him as much as it hurts me to not know who this guy is. Clearly, he is someone important, and it makes me wonder if he's a boyfriend or a fiancé, maybe a husband. His clothes are here, and I'm not sure if he lives here with me. And if that's the case, wheres he been?_

_I've learned through people asking me about him, that his name is Jay. His brother was my doctor in the hospital. Will, his brother, says that Jay and I were very good and close friends. And I feel that. Deep down I know there's something there. And it's eating away at me because no one will tell me what my brain can't remember. _

_But I want to know more about Jay. I want to know why his clothes are hanging in my closet and why his pictures fill the walls of my home. I want to know why, when he called me Livi or held my hand, that I have never felt as safe as I did in that moment. I want to know why he hasn't been around or reached out to me. I want to know who we are to each other. I want to not be angry with myself for forgetting him. I mean hellloooo the guy is pure sex on legs, what fucking idiot would forget him! Oh wait, I'm that idiot. _

_That moment in the hospital when Jay saw me, he looked at me like I was the sun, the moon, and the stars. And for the first time, I felt seen, like I mattered so much to someone. But then it was just confusion, because I had nothing to base the reason for the love in his eyes. And I had to watch as I shattered any hope he had. _

_I don't know if I'll stay in Chicago, I don't know if this letter will ever make it back into my therapy session. I don't know where to go from here and how to build my life up again, shit I don't know if I'll ever see Jay ever again. What I do know, is that I'm lost, I'm confused, I'm scared, I feel alone, I feel broken, I feel empty. I know I cry myself to sleep most nights and spend most of my days crying because how can everything in my past be coming back in memories but I can't remember the one person who seems the most important. _

_Writing this stupid fucking letter to myself is only making me more angry and upset. I don't want to do this stupid exercise anymore so there present self. Wallow in your fucking feelings, take a shot of vodka or seven of them. I know I deserve it. _


	42. I DoAgain

Jay was a ball of nervous energy. He paced back and forth, nursing a beer in the suite that was reserved for him and his groomsmen. Will had gone to get James from Olivia's room so that Jay and James could get ready together.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" James said, running into the room.

"There's my little man." Jay replied, scooping him up in his arms.

"Daddy,' James gushed, 'Mommy looks so pretty."

"I have no doubt about that." Jay smiled.

"I gots to play in her dress and her bail for pictures."

Jay knew that James really had meant her vail.

"No way, how lucky!"

"Uh huh and auntie Von and Aunt Jo let me have a bagel with nu…nu..nutella, and I didn't even gets messy!"

"I hope you didn't bring it near Mommy."

"No ways, i'ms not crazy! I sits at the table with Auntie Von."

Jay chuckled and James looked over Jay.

"Why's you not dressed?" James asked.

Jay sighed.

"I'm not sure what I should wear, and I wanted to get dressed with you."

James gave Jay such a grown up looked and walked away from his father and over to the rack.

"Pick this one Daddy."

"Did mommy tell you to pick that one out if I didn't have it on?"

"No, buts today's special. You's needs to be you."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

* * *

Olivia stood off to the side as she watched all the girls take their walk down the aisle with their paired groomsmen. Angela with Kevin, Josephine with Adam, Diana with Antonio and Michelle with Mouse. Will and Owen were already out and standing next to Jay. Yvonne, as her maid of honor, would be walking out alone, followed by James and then Olivia and Hank. All in all, Olivia was surprisingly calm. Everything had come together so far, perfectly. The girls looked stunning in their lavender dresses. All in the same color, but different styles to whichever they were comfortable in wearing. The guys looked so dashing in their light grey suits, with crisp white dress shirts paired with lavender ties. James, in his navy suit, was jumping at the bits to go.

"You ready kid?" Hank asked.

"More than ever." Olivia replied.

Yvonne stepped out to the aisle and the doors closed behind her, sealing off any view.

"Pop Pop Hank it's time!"

"It is."

James' face lit up.

"Yous gots to say it!"

"Alright, alright…hit it."

James put on his mini aviators and the doors opened.

* * *

Butterflies exploded in his stomach the second the doors closed. All that was left was for those doors to open, for James to enter and then Olivia. Once the doors opened, Jay couldn't contain the heartfelt laugh that escaped his lips. James had on a pair of sunglasses, much like the ones Jay wears on that daily. With a serious face, James slowly drove down the aisle in a police power wheels truck with the light flashing, and a sign that said 'Ring Bearer on Duty'. Once at the end of the aisle, James parked his truck, stood in front of Jay, and called out to the once again closed doors.

"Hit it." James called out.

As soon as the doors opened and she stepped into view and locked eyes with Jay, he could've sworn that time around them slowed down. She looked radiant. While her thin strapped, deep 'V' neck, 'A' line dress glittered (literally) from head to toe, she was glowing. Her hair and make up gave off old Hollywood vibes accentuated by her Burgundy colored lips. She held a bouquet of navy colored roses and white calla Lillies with the stems held together with lavender ribbon. Once they reached Jay, Hank gave her hand to Jay.

"You look stunning." Jay said.

"None of the uniforms?"

Jay shrugged.

"James picked this out."

Jay wore a navy suit with black lapels, a crisp white shirt under the jacket with a lavender tie and a light grey pocket square. A blue rose and white Calle Lilly were pinned to his lapel. His hair perfectly done, like how it is everyday, and a light scruff on his face. Olivia smiled at him.

"You look very dapper."

"Family and Friends, we are gathered her today to witness the matrimony of Jay and Olivia."

Jay ran his thumbs over Olivia's knuckles as the minister began.

"When I met Jay about 15 minutes ago, he said that Olivia had surprised him with their earlier than planned wedding. He was beaming from ear to ear. He said to me 'Sir, when you see her, you'll see how lucky I am. Not just because she's a gorgeous goddess, but you'll see a woman who dropped everything to make our dream wedding come true all because I have to leave for my job. You'll see the amazing woman who is the best mother to our son.' And you know what I said back to Jay after his love fest of a speech? I said, 'Dude I met her like three days ago when she called me. No one hires a minister without meeting them."

Everyone laughed and Jay's cheeks reddened.

"I have to say, I have never met someone who talks as much as Olivia does. Her mouth just kept running!' The gallery laughed, again, 'Olivia told me how Jay saved her life in more ways than one. That in her loneliest moments, Jay was always there with arms to hold her. Before we get into the by the book mumbo jumbo, Olivia and Jay have chosen to speak from within themselves in place of written vows. Olivia, we'll start with you."

Olivia let out a deep breath and Jay smiled at here.

"The words: hope, safety, love, light and home, all of what I see when I look at you. You are the light when I get lost in all of the darkness of the times I can't remember. Safety is this fierceness you have to protect James and I, at all costs. Hope is every morning and night of better ones to follow with you next to me. Love is what consumes me at every touch, gesture, kiss and everything in between. And then there's home. You are my home Jay, my safe haven, my shelter. As long as I have you, nothing else in this world matters. I don't think I'll ever have enough words to tell you how much I love you. I know your job makes you worry about James and I, but I can tell you this, we will always be here. Every second of every day, every time you walk out our front door and every time you come back in. You are my forever home, my love and my life."

Jay wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Jay, you're turn." The minister instructed.

"You make me whole. You make me feel like I have a purpose beyond the job. I could never make sense as to why I made it home from war, when most of my friends didn't, and I felt like that for a long time. When we became friends and became close, I felt a bit better about my life, and I figured that was why. But it wasn't until you collapsed in my arms, that I finally realized. I realized I was meant to live my life with you. I've never felt whole until you. You make everything better. No one knows this, but I don't think I'd be here today if I didn't have you. I love how even when you're 'sleeping' you know I'm admiring you, I love how dedicated you are to your job, to being a mom, and a wife. I love your sarcasm, quick whit, your patience, and I even love listening to ballet music on Sunday mornings with you. I promise to always come home to you."

Jay used the pad of his thumb to wipe away her tears.

"May we have the rings please."

James took them out of his pocket and handed them to the minster who then handed them to Jay and Olivia.

"Olivia, repeat after me. I olivia, take you Jay, to be my husband."

"I, Olivia, take you Jay, to be my husband…"

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health."

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health…"

"For as long as we both shall live."

"For as long as we both shall live."

The minister turned to Jay.

"Now, Jay repeat after me. I Jay, take you Olivia, to be my wife."

"I Jay, take you Olivia, to be my wife…"

"To have and to hold, in sickness and in health."

"To have and to hold in sickness and in health…"

"For as long as we both shall live."

"For as long as we both shall live."

"Jay, Do you accept Olivia's vow to you?" The Minister asked.

"I do." Jay replied.

Olivia smiled and slid the ring onto Jay's finger.

"Olivia, do you accept Jay's vow to you?"

"I do."

Jay placed Olivia's ring on her finger.

"If anyone feels that these two shouldn't not be married in holy matrimony…no one cares, so keep it to yourself."

Everyone one around them laughed.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jay Halstead! Jay, you may kiss your bride."

Jay placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her in for a kiss as Olivia wrapped her arms around his middle. They both smiled into the kiss and everyone around them cheered. Jay pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"We're married." He said.

"Again." Olivia whispered.

Jay escorted her out of the ceremony and to their private dressing suite where he kissed her fiercely.

"We have to take pictures, get James and go to our reception."

"Will has James, everything else can wait." He said, while kissing her.

"You know how I am about timing and scheduling."

"And you know I like to break your rules."

Jay's hands made their way to the back of her dress and Olivia reluctantly pulled away.

"We can't."

Jay let out a defeated sigh.

"Fine Mrs. Halstead."

Olivia's face lit up.

"Call me that again."

"Mrs. Halstead."

She pecked his lips.

"Again."

"Mrs. Halstead."

"Again."

Another kiss.

"Mrs. Olivia Halstead."

"I'm really a Halstead."

"You are _my_ Livi Halstead."

"I will never get tired of hearing that."

"And I'll never get tired of calling you that."

Olivia kissed him again.

"Let's go make our grand entrance."


	43. I Do Part 2

Jay peaked into the room as they were waiting to be announced in. Olivia had really brought their dream wedding to life. The up-lighting in the room had been set with tones of blues and purples. High vases filled with lavender and white flowers adorned with hanging stones, sat at the center of light gray cloth covered tables with navy napkins. Pictures from throughout the day were being projected onto the walls for guests to see.

It amazed jay how she turned the room into something out of one of that fairytales she read to James at night. She had did all this for him, because it mattered so greatly to him. He had thought about asking her to elope down at city hall before she had surprised him with a wedding. He didn't simply for the facts that he didn't want her to miss out on all this. Not that all this mattered, in the grand scheme of things, but it mattered in the fact that these were important moments.

"Liv, this all looks incredible."

"You think so?" She questioned, clearly doubting herself.

Jay kissed her.

"Everything is perfect."

The maitr'de signaled that they were about to be announced.

"And now, the moment we've all been waiting for, the reason we're all here tonight! Get on your feet, and make some noise for your bride and groom, Jay and Olivia Hallllssssttteeeaaadddddd!"

The doors opened and 'Born to Be My Baby' by Bon Jovi blasted through the ballroom. All their guests erupted with cheers as they entered, and Jay led Olivia to the center of the dance floor, where he dipped her back and kissed her. As Jay brought her back upright, the music changed to a softer tone.

"Let's clear the floor as our newlyweds share their first dance."

Jay pulled Olivia into him. It took a second for Olivia to realize that 'Come Kiss Me' by Baylee and Brian Littrell was playing.

"Did you have the DJ switch the song?"

"You're not the only one with surprises."

**_A thousand nights I prayed for this to happen. A thousand angels led me here to you. So many nights I've dreamt about this moment, and looking at you, looks like they're coming true._**

Jay and Olivia gently swayed around the floor.

"I thought you weren't a fan of this song?" Olivia asked.

"I wasn't. But the more I've been listening to it, Ive really started to like it."

**_And look at us now, look what we've become, I've known from the day we met that you were the one._**

"This song really does remind me of us." Jay said

"Fits us perfectly." She hummed.

Her head rested on his chest with her eyes closed and his laid gently laid upon hers.

"You really mean the world to me Livi."

**_ I can't see the future, but I promise my bride, no matter what comes, I'll be by your side. Oh, we're one step away from complete. Baby, come kiss me._**

Other couples took to the floor to dance alongside them. They scooped up James and held him for the rest of the song until the music changed and became upbeat. The dance floor quickly filled with people dancing, laughing, drinking the night away

It took Jay a bit to notice that Olivia was nursing the same glass of champagne for the last hours as she observed the room around her. Jay grabbed her hand and practically dragged her to the bridal suite.

"What're you doing? Too many people will notice if we go missing for a quickie." She joked.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked, point blank.

"Nothing, why?"

"You've barely drank."

Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"You're worried because I'm not wasted?"

"Or buzzed at least."

Olivia looked away.

"The truth?"

"I'd prefer it." He responded.

"I just… I want tonight to be a clear memory. Not fuzzy, how most of mine are."

"Livi-" he tried to console.

"Don't..don't do the pity thing."

"Hey, it's not a pity thing, it's a husband thing."

"Okay, _husband_, let's go before anyone realizes we're gone."

They returned to the grand ballroom for more dancing, eating, and Jay even got Olivia to have a few drinks. It was almost time for cake, when both Will and Yvonne gave speeches.

"My little brother has been a pain in my ass for as long as I can remember,' Will started, earning a few laughs, 'now, it's Olivia's job to deal with him.' Will laughed. ' All joking aside, Olivia is by far the best thing that has happened to not only Jay, but the Halsteads in general. She's put up with a lot of crap and has never let it scare her away from being with Jay. It has truly been an honor to be apart of such an important day to the both of you. Jay's smile is a little wider, his eyes a bit brighter even got a few stress wrinkles with Olivia's name on them, but one thing is for sure, this is the happiest I've ever seen my brother. I remember the first time Jay ever told me about Olivia. He came to visit me at Med and said 'Will, you've got to see this girl, she's something else.' As soon as those words left his lips, I knew he was done for. And for as long as they spent as friends, the chemistry between them was visible to everyone except for them. They were the most couple-ly of friends, that it was almost maddening that they were together. Two people who were literally so perfect for one another that they were blinded by it. Until even the universe was sick of it, and changed everything. Which as a curse and a blessing all in one. None the less, it led us here to today, to me gaining a sister along with a nephew. Here's to a future of happiness and love. Cheers to the Mr. and Mrs."

People raised their glasses and took small sips before Yvonne began.

"Good evening, I'm sure most of you know me, and if not I'm Yvonne. I met Olivia a few months after she moved to Chicago. Olivia started off as this super shy and quite girl who worked at her station behind mine. I watched as she grew into not only an insanely talented hairdresser but into someone full of life. The night Olivia met Jay was actually only the second time Olivia had been out with us. Always the soft spoken one, it had caught us all off guard when she brought Jay over to our table and introduced him and his friends. When we left the bar that night something changed in her, she seemed happier. And if you had ever happened to mention Jay's name, oh forget it, the girl was a smiling blushing mess.' Olivia buried her face into Jay's shoulder in embarrassment, 'Jay gave her the life again that none of us knew she was missing. We also didn't know the weight of the world that was sitting on her shoulders. People say that, you never really know the weight of the world on someone else's shoulders until something bad happens. And something did, and maybe if not for that, who knows if we'd even be here. The two of them would probably still be claiming that they're only friends. In any case, it doesn't matter, the girl who has become like a sister to me, been by my side during my own troubles, finally has her guy. Ive never met two people more perfectly designed for one another. I wish you nothing but love, happiness and a healthy family."

James wondered over to his aunt, gently tugging on her dress and asking for the mic.

"My mommy and daddy are the bestest. Now mommy has the same last name as us. In love them so much. They are the best."

Tears spilled down Olivia's cheeks as she held James tightly in her arms.

"What do you say to sharing a dance with me?" She asked.

James nodded excitedly. James took his mother's hand and led her to the middle of the dance floor, where they dance wildly. Jay stood off by the bar and happily watched them.

"You did good kid." Voight said, walking over.

"Crazy to think this is all real."

"Much deserved for you both."

"And now I have to leave her so quickly."

"She understands that Jay."

"But she shouldn't have too! I should be staying here, building my family, creating a life."

"And you'll do that when you come back."

"If I come back. UC jobs are always a 50/50 shot."

"You'll come home, you'd never leave them.

The time seemed to go by quickly, and they finally cut the cake before having the final dances of the night.

"Okay James, Auntie Von or Uncle Will, who do you want to go home with?" Olivia asked.

James pondered the question.

"Auntie Von! She lets me put candy on my pancakes!"

* * *

Jay unlocked the hotel room door, scooped Olivia off her feet and carried her laughing figure into the room, where he gently laid her down on the bed, Jay hovered over her, taking in how beautiful she still looked. Her hazel eyes darkening with lust yet sparkling with love, which were sure to be mirroring his own. Olivia's hand came up to touch his cheek. Jay didn't need to hear her words to know that everything she ever wanted in life was him. He gave someone so much love, safety, security, and happiness, things he never thought he could be for someone.

"Where has your mind drifted to?" She questioned.

"I never thought I'd be here or be that guy. I never thought someone could see all the broken parts of me, and still love me."

"They're not broken."

"Then what are they?"

"They're the parts that mend to mine to make us whole. To make us perfect for each other."

Jay kissed her fiercely.

"You really have made me whole." Jay said.

"Isn't it wild to believe that we finally did it? Everything I could ever want or need, will always start and end with you."

Jay avoided her eyes.

"I don't want to leave you."

"I know, but we'll be okay, and I'll count the days till you're home."

"Then we can have a real honeymoon."

"I just need you."

"Then I owe you a proper wedding night."

"I couldn't agree more Mr. Halstead."


	44. From The Ground Up

**i am so sorry for the delay. i planned on splitting this chapter into two but each one seemed unfinished without the other. Also if you havent heard ' from the ground up' pleassseeee listen to it. its such a sweet song. enjoy xoxox**

* * *

"Put me down so you can open the door!" Olivia laughed wildly.

Jay was currently trying to open the hotel room door while carrying Olivia bridal style, and he was failing miserably.

"No, I have to carry you into the room. That's the newlywed husbandly thing to do."

"You can pick me back up once you've opened the door."

"And admit defeat, never.' Jay swiftly hoisted her over his shoulder which left him free to use both his hands. 'There we go."

"Agreed much better, the view is phenomenal." Olivia said pinching his butt.

"Hands off the merchandise till were in the room and the door is closed babe."

Jay opened the door, flicked on the lights and proceeded to carry her into the room and gently tossed her on the bed. Olivia looked up at him with a sinful grin.

"Are we playing rough tonight Mr. Halstead?"

"Actually, I kinda had something else in mind."

"Oh? Do tell."

Jay looked away sheepishly and instantly Olivia knew something was up. She quickly sat up and tugged at his hands.

"Hey, look at me. What's going on?"

"Remember the night before the last time I went undercover, and we spent the night making it the best one so I'd had the most recent and best things to think of when I was alone?"

"Yeah."

"I kinda wanted to do that again tonight. Today has been the best day of my life, by far, and tonight, well I want tonight to be nothing but you. I want nothing more than to remember every inch of you, the way you look, the way you feel, the way you taste. I want to always have you."

"I think I can manage that but Jay, you will always have me. I am not going anywhere, even when you have to take off that ring for this gig, I will forever be in your heart, your mind, your soul. I will be there at the end of every shift, after every gig, after every case. I am with you for the long haul."

"If I'm not back in six months, or if something goes wrong and I never make it home, promise me you'll move on."

"Never."

"Olivia, I'm serious."

"And so am I. I could never love anyone the way I love you, and I would never want to either."

"I love you so damn much."

He leaned down to gently kiss her lips.

"I love you too, but I'm really hoping for that every inch, feel, taste thing."

"In due time,' he pecked her forehead, 'in due time. I was kinda hoping you'd dance with me for a bit."

Olivia raised a brow and smiled.

"For someone who says they hate dancing, you've been doing a bit of it tonight."

"Special occasions only." He shrugged.

Jay walked out of her embrace and over to the Bluetooth speaker that was luckily placed in the room. He fidddled around on the speaker and his phone before music started to play softly in the room. 'From The Ground Up' by Dan and Shay played and Olivia couldn't help but smile at the sweetness.

"Join me for a dance, M'lady?"

"I'd be honored to sir."

Jay took her into his embrace and they gently swayed around the limited space the large room provided. Olivia's head was tucked under Jay's chin, resting on his chest with her eyes closed. Today couldn't have been more perfect, a dream wedding come true. Olivia couldn't believe this was all real. She had married the most perfect man in the world, the man who loved her beyond measure and would do anything for her. He loved her more than anything in this world and she loved him just as much. He'd given her the life she'd always dreamed of having.

_And we'll build this love from the ground up__  
__Now 'til forever it's all of me, all of you__  
__Just take my hand__  
__And I'll be the man your dad hoped that I'd be_

Jay secretly wondered if her father would have approved of him. Olivia had said it on more than one occasion and she swore her family would've been smitten over Jay. But Jay wished he'd really known it. He wanted to have asked her family for their approval of marriage, he wanted them to have been apart of this day. But he'd never gotten that chance to somehow make that happen for her.

_This life will go by__  
__In the blink of an eye__  
__But I wouldn't wanna spend it without you by my side__  
__The cloud are gonna roll__  
__The earth's gonna shake__  
__But I'll be your shelter through the wind and the rain_

Sometimes it still felt like yesterday, that they had met in Molly's and sometimes is felt like lifetimes ago. They'd gotten so lucky, to have been given a second chance and to make the change from friends into something more and it had felt incredibly natural to have done so, because the only real change was the title to one another and a bit more intimacy. She was everything to him, and she didn't even know the half of it. She grounded him, made him feel safe and loved. All she had to do was smile and he was a puddle on the floor.

"I wish we tried for a baby sooner." He said as they swayed.

"We have plenty of time."

"What if we don't."

Olivia snuggled her face deeper into him.

"With everything that we've had happen to us, I'm pretty sure the universe owes us.' She chuckled, 'We'll make a couple cute kids, and I'm sure spoil them rotten, and raise them to be the best they can be, and we'll do that together."

"I'm worried about this case."

"I know, but I also know you will always come home to me."

"I just don't want you to feel stuck."

"Never in a million years."

_And we'll build this love from the ground up__  
__For worse or for better__  
__And I will be all you need__  
__Beside you I'll stand through the good and the bad__  
__We'll give all that we have__  
__And we'll build this love from the ground up_

The song ended, and Olivia was sure Jay was done with dancing, but no he surprised her and pulled her closer as another song began. Olivia tilted her head back to glance at him.

"Did you make a playlist of all the songs we thought about using for a first dance?" She asked.

"I might have done exactly that."

"You really are a hopeless romantic."

They spent a good amount of time dancing to music from Bruno Mars, the Backstreet Boys, Bon Jovi, Ed Sheeran, and Michael Bublé. It was nice how content the two were just being like this, in their own bubble. Jay pulled back a pinch and leaned down to kiss her while his hands worked the back of her dress open. Olivia undid the buttons of his dress shirt and lid the shirt over and off his broad shoulders. Once her dress was open she shimmied out of it and stood there in the navy blue lingerie with a smug smirk of her face. Jay's eyes darkened with lust.

"I should've known you'd have on blue."

"I know it's a favorite of yours."

"And it's about to be shreds on the floor."

"Can you try not to ruin this set? I do like it."

"No promises."

In an instant, Olivia was on her back, on the bed, Jay's lips attacking her with his hands roaming her body. He worked his way down her throat, along her collarbone, nipped at the swell of her breasts, ghosted over his stomach until he was face to face with her core. His breath against her clothed center covered her skin with goosebumps. Jay peered up at her with a wicked grin, and she knew what he was going to do.

"Don't you dare. I'll make you buy me a new set." She warned.

"Only if you promise to model them for me."

Jay wasted no time ripping the thin fabric from her body and attached his mouth to her, and showed her no mercy. Her fingers weaved into his now messy hair and tugged at it, only fueling Jay to work his mouth and fingers at a faster pace. How in the world was she going to make it through the night at this pace.

"Jay, stop, you gotta stop."

He peered up at her again.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just too much too fast."

Jay placed his hands on either side of her head and hovered over her before sliding into her wet heat with ease. Olivia's eyes fluttered closed and she arched into him.

"Better?" He questioned.

"Mhmm much better."

They spent the majority of the night in various positions with the same outcome. It was a sight and feeling the two of them would be missing out on for a bit of time. He hadn't even left yet and he was already counting down the minutes until his return home. Looking down at his sleeping wife, he couldn't help but smile. He'd gotten the girl…and a son. He'd been blessed with such a gift and he couldn't believe that he'd gotten so lucky.

_ Jay was laying in his bed, enjoying being able to sleep in on a Sunday. His phone had been buzzing on and off throughout the morning but Jay let it be knowing it wasn't work. At around 10 in the morning, Jay stood from his bed, stretched and grabbed his phone. All missed calls, texts and voicemails from Olivia. Jay suddenly felt guilty as he scrolled through the multiple texts from her asking where he was, why wasn't he answering. Her voicemails just as heart breaking._

_"Jay,I really need you to answer, come on. Where are you? I really need you right now. I'm alone and I'm kinda scared. I…I think I'm okay, I don't know my head hurts, I might have banged it, Jay just please pick up."_

_ Fear raging through his veins he called her. It took her three tries to answer him, all while he quickly dressed._

_"Now you call me?" She asked, sniffing._

_ Jay was running down to his truck._

_"Where are you? Send me your location, I'm on my way."_

_"Don't bother, I've already got it handled."_

_ Jay could hear faint male voices in the background._

_"Livi, what's happening."_

_"Nothing Jay! I just wanna go home and be left alone."_

_ and with a click, she had hung up on him. He stared at his phone blankly for a minute before finishing getting dressed and getting into his truck and heading for her house. Jay pulled up just as Adam and Olivia we're getting out of his car. Adam put an arm over her shoulder and was leading her up to her front door._

_"What the fuck Ruz! Get off her." Jay shouted, storming up the lawn._

_"Fuck off jay, way to show up."_

_ The two were meters from each other ready to swing._

_"You're seriously gonna go behind my back and try to hook up with her. Nice bro code you dick."_

_ Adam shoved him back._

_"Read the room bro, and not for nothing I would never do that to either of you.' Adam turned to Olivia, 'let me help you into the house."_

_ Olivia tried to hide her face from jay. Bruises started forming on her cheek and her nose, along with a small bandage over her eye._

_"You've done so much already. I'll be fine."_

_ Adam eyed Jay up and down._

_"It's okay Adam, he won't be here long either."_

_ Adam cautiously left and Olivia went inside closely followed by Jay._

_"Oh my god, either say what you're dying to say or go home Jay. Cause honestly I really don't wanna see you right now."_

_"Livi, I'm sorry. I really thought it was a work group chat and I just ignored it."_

_"Group chat no, ignored it yes."_

_"Are you alright? What happened?"_

_ Olivia spun around, wincing, and eyes filled with tears._

_"What happened? What happened? What happened was I was in a bad car wreck, and I was terrified and had no one there for me. Thank god Adam answered when I called because I would've been all alone, scared and hurt."_

_"Did you get checked out at the hospital?"_

_"Possible concussion, some whiplash, some bruising and couple cuts. Get slammed into from behind and sent into the car in front of me will do that."_

_ Jay reached for her, but she pulled away._

_"You should go." She said._

_ Devastated at the thought, jay quickly pulled her into him and held her tightly._

_"I'm not going anywhere, I am so truly sorry that I wasn't there. I will never miss anything again."_

_ Olivia quietly sobbed into his chest._

_"The guy that hit me was yelling and in my face saying it was my fault and that I was fucking stupid. I was scared and you weren't answering and I didn't know what to do."_

_"It"ll never happen again. Wait what happened to the guy?"_

_"Adam had him arrested for verbal assault and for rage."_

_ Jay raised an eyebrow._

_"I don't think you can arrest someone for rage, but I'll settle for it."_

Olivia stirred away beside Jay and snuggled into him.

"I could stay in this bed with you forever." She said.

"If only we could, babe, if only we could."

"I guess we should get up and get home to our boy?"

"Yeah, let's go home."


End file.
